


Titan Rider

by SassyGrape



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Canon Related, Canon-Typical Violence, Decisions, Emotions, Explicit Language, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Fights, Flawed characters, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Bad At Tagging, Karma is a Bitch, Male-Female Friendship, Medical Procedures, Moral Dilemmas, Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Protective Team, Sacrifice, Social Justice, Strong Female Characters, Trust, mentioned erejean, questionable deeds, slowly falling in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:54:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 68,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24107071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyGrape/pseuds/SassyGrape
Summary: It always starts on a sunny, bright day, does it not? The three young women living in the safety of the Walls come to face the harsh truth that even good things will come to an end. And in extreme times and situations they have to meet extraordinary decisions to stay alive.And years after the first breach of the outer Wall, they need to use their skills and knowledge to prevent further disaster - even though two of them had promised themselves to never fight a Titan again.
Kudos: 1





	1. High Self, Self, It

**Author's Note:**

> I know I already had 12 chapters up, but I decided to re-do the whole thing with better formatting and therefore shorter chapters and whatnot.

_**If you live life by other people’s standards, then your life is no longer yours (Attack on Titan)** _

It was one of those days which people remember as peaceful and silent, relaxing. The sun was shining upon the land, no clouds darkened the sky and sparrows chirped in the trees and blooming shrubs. Inside the Walls life was nice and easy that day for almost everyone. Almost.

“Ye-Haaaa! I’m gonna get’cha!“

“Faster, dammit!!“

“Waaait!“

In the outskirts of Wall Maria three young women were in a hurry to reach Shiganshina, a small town built as an outcrop and located on the southern curve of the Wall. Nonetheless the town was also surrounded by a huge wall, protecting it from Titans.

Sinia Schütz, counting 21 years and being the oldest of the three women, clumsily landed on her feet and glared at her friends Rura Ledoux and Kahina Krylow. The youngest, 19-year old Rura, just came to her feet the next moment and patted Sinia on the back, grinning widely. Kahina, who had just turned 20, still sat on a branch and picked an apple off it.

“Yo, not bad Sinia“, Kahina, having her free day and thus only wearing black shorts, a gray tanktop and light brown boots, exclaimed and bit into the red fruit. „Next time, you’ll play Titan!“

“Shush, Kahina. We should practice with you as Titan some more.“ The youngest hissed and opened her ponytail – thick red curls fell onto her shoulders and glistened in the sunlight. Rura would be on duty later on, therefore she already wore her uniform: a short, light brown jacket with the badge of her squad on both shoulders, a light green shirt, a dark brown sash around her waist covering the hips, white pants, and dark brown knee-high leather boots.

“Why do I have to be the ugly Titan?“

“Because you are just as brutally ugly as one“, Sinia giggled but stopped as an apple painfully hit her head. “ _Ouch_!” She rubbed the back of her head, still having the urge to laugh. Like Kahina she was dismissed for today, so she had put on a black t-shirt and blue trousers, as well as her favorite black boots.

“Yeah, remember that! If I were that ugly, Henry wouldn’t want to date me. Or he has a fetish for hideous things. _Ew_ ”, the 20-year old retorted, running her hands through her wavy copper hair.

“I still don’t get why you refuse to meet him”, Rura mentioned and picked up the apple to take a bite. “I mean – he’s not that bad looking and he is in the Military Police Brigade. He should be skilled, then. Haven’t met him, though.”

“But I heard he’s just a womanizer”, Sinia said and swung herself with the 3D-Maneuver-Gear at Kahinas’ side onto the branch. “I don’t want him to date you.”

“Good, because I’m not gonna go out with such a weak douchebag. Military Police Brigade – more like _Bitch Brigade._ ” The tallest of the three grimaced.

“ _Hello-o_! Mind someone hears us. Do we want to have this dangerous chitter chatter? Besides, we don’t want to show up too late in Shiganshina!” Shouting this, Rura made the other two jump – the next moment they hopped off the tree and joined the youngest Ledoux.

Sometimes Rura wondered why her two best friends tended to blaze abroad their opinions so recklessly. Not that she didn’t like the way Sinia and Kahina spoke to each other and her, but it seemed they just did forget the fact that the Military Police Brigade did have a right to exist. And the members weren’t stupid shitheads, like Sinia and Kahina made it sound.

“Sorry, Miss Military Police Brigade Captain”, Kahina teased and stuck out her tongue.

“Don’t be so mean, please!”, Sinia tried to calm the situation. It would end like every time: Both would shout at each other, be angry for two days and then get along again as if nothing had happened. Sinia hated the two days in between, everything else was fine. Even the arguments. Because they were funny. Sort of.

“You better be careful, Garrison-chick!”, Rura countered while her aqua eyes glistened as she playfully glared at Kahina.

“Rura, Kahina! Honestly! _Again_? Didn’t we agree on one argument a month?”, the oldest demanded to know and snorted. “This is the third!”

Both turned to look at Sinia, their faces taut with anger. Aqua and amber eyes fiercely glaring at her, the oldest decided to never interrupt such a situation again. But then again – they had made that deal. So those two troublemakers should at least try to adhere to that. “Yeah, you can both look creepy as shit. But it doesn’t change the subject.”

“She’s right”, Rura suddenly sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

“Sinia is always right when it comes to compassion or social matters.” Kahina made some steps onto the glade of the forest in which they were at that time. From this place one could see Wall Maria clearly, 50 meters high and thick and for Titans unscalable it stood there, enclosing the whole district and Shiganshina. “I hate these walls.”

“Who doesn’t?”, Rura asked and stepped at Kahinas' side. Sinia followed up, gazing into the blue sky, watching a hawk silently pass by.

“The ones who keep us inside”, she finally said, then shot her best friends short looks. “We must get going. Elseway we’ll never know what the Recon Corps found out!”

“And this would be such a shame”, Kahina grinned, but activated her 3D-Maneuver-Gear. “The Titan’s ready to get some fresh human flesh!”

“Oh _nooo_!”, Sinia laughed. “An ugly Titan is following us! Rura, run for the sake of your butt!”

“The sake of my… Sinia?” The youngest just shook her head and shot the hooks of the gear into some trees on the other side of the glade, easily keeping up with Sinia.

“One-two-three – those who are too slow are food for _me_!”, Kahina shouted, joy mixing with her voice, then she began to chase the other two young women. So it was almost a peaceful day for the people living within Wall Maria.

\-------- 

This is, until the Recon Corps returned. The three women stood among many other people of all ages, small children were awaiting the arrival of the heroes as well as the elder population. Civilians and soldiers were anticipating the stories which the special force would have to tell about how to effectively kill a Titan.

The huge gate opened and the first soldiers came in, riding on their horses. But there was no singing, no shouting or festive spirit. To Sinia, who understood people best of all three, it almost seemed a grave atmosphere. She was the first to realize that there were way too many horses and just a few soldiers. This hadn’t been as they had left some days ago. Something terrible must’ve happened. Her dark brown eyes narrowed as she searched for the strongest soldiers within the Recon Corps and found them. Erwin Smith was alive, Levi as well, and Hanji Zoe too. She could see Petra, Luke and Mike, which meant that the inner core of this unit was untouched. But still… 

“Wow, there’s a huge lack of personnel”, Kahina slowly said while she raised her eyebrows. “Seems like there had been too many newbies with them.”

“Kahina! How dare you? Those were people like you and me!” There was nothing else Rura could do but give her friend a startled look. How in the world could she say something so cruel and terrible? Humans died for everyone living here and Kahina had nothing better to do but criticize the fact that so few returned?

“What's wrong with you? They were younger than you are now and died fighting the Titans!”, Sinia sharply advised her cold blooded friend, then tried to follow the horsemen along the street while evading the people in the crowd. She wanted to check on Erwin since he was one of her friends. He had seemed so crestfallen.

Kahina just rolled her eyes, took a piece of bread out of the bag of an inattentive merchant and followed suit. Rura and Sinia were quite tender considering the fact that people had died before fighting the Titans as well. Maybe not that many, but well. Also, those who decided to join the Survey Corps knew they’d much likely die on their first trip to the outside world. But otherwise – Kahina would join that unit immediately if someone asked her to.

“Put the fucking bread back”, Rura growled, but not loud enough. There were things she liked about Kahina and things she hated. Like this stealing-habit. Why would anybody who belonged to the Garrison, the Recon Corps or the Military Police Brigade steal food from someone? It just didn’t make sense.

Sinia was totally different from Kahina, the oldest had never stolen, was born within Wall Sina and well raised as the only daughter of a judge. She had no problems to think outside the box or to empathize with people who felt cheated by the system. And Rura herself was the youngest of four – so she knew that food was short and one had to be thankful for everything life was willing to give.

Kahina was just about to say something about how the soldiers should’ve known about the danger Titans posed for humans, as the injured came through the gate. They were covered in blood – their own and the blood of comrades – lacking arms or legs or even eyes. Her eyes widened in silent shock. Why on earth would someone carry such a burden home? Injured people always made everything harder.

Rura saw what was going on and stopped midway. It didn’t matter to chase after Sinia anymore. Her gaze was caught by the soldiers who had lost not only their friends but parts of themselves on the battlefield. A sudden urge to help overwhelmed Rura, but she restrained it. It wouldn’t do any good if she ran and tried to fix things – she couldn’t. And those who were not physically injured were mentally, it was easy to see in their eyes and on their beaten and apathetic faces.

“Moses! Moses!!” Suddenly a woman with grayish hair stumbled out of the crowd, towards Keith Shadis, the Commander of the Survey Corps. He was the man in charge, the man who had led that mission. A position neither of the three women was envious of right now. “My son, Moses … I can’t find him.” She got a grip at his uniform. But his face told Rura and Sinia everything what they needed to know: The ones who didn’t return were forever lost.

“It’s her, Moses’ mother”, Keith slowly said and looked at a soldier Rura didn’t know. But that did not matter either. Because that one soldier could not turn back time to make things undone.

“Wow, you are _such_ a brain. Of course she’s his mother”, Kahina mumbled without a trace of sympathy for the mother. Or for Keith.

“Bring it here.” The tall soldier just stood there, commanding his comrade. Hearing that, Moses’ mother backed away. And Sinia arrived at Ruras’ and Kahinas’ spot.

“What happened? I heard there was some sort of ruckus here!” She tried to catch a glimpse of what was going on and after half a minute she finally found a small gap between two slim men.

“You didn’t miss much. A mother lost her son.” Explaining this, Kahina bit into the bread and chewed rhythmically. “Seems like Keith doesn’t know how to deal with that.”

“Kahina, please show some respect for the mother and Keith. Both suffer a lot.”

At that moment the solider came back with something wrapped in white linen – except that the linen wasn’t that white anymore. It was covered in red bloodstains. The mother just took it, her eyes growing wider with shock and fear.

“What is that, his foot?” Now even Rura sounded sarcastic. One definitely didn’t give a mother the foot of her deceased son. Honestly, who would do such a thing?

“I bet it’s his arm. Rura, two apples and I’m in!”

“Deal”, Rura mumbled, forgetting about her decency.

Sinia just shook her head, feeling pity for the poor woman. Whatever she was holding was what was left of her son – the young women felt with her. Pain and anger and frustration drenched her heart. Again a failure. Nothing new, just soldiers lost to the Titans. 

Holding the wrapped thing like a newborn, the mother opened the linen with rash movements, until –

“It’s an arm!”, Kahina grinned and looked at Rura. “You know you owe me.”

“Why isn’t it his damn foot? Moses, why can’t you help me once in my poor life?”

“Okay, this is more than enough!”, Sinia hissed and bitchslapped her best friends. “You two shut up now! This is the _worst_ moment in a mothers life and you have nothing else to do but to … but to _bet_ on what’s left of him? Are you insane?!”

“And what good does it to cry every time you hear someone died on the battlefield?”, Kahina plainly asked. “It doesn’t bring the people back. The best is to deal with it. Let the woman cry, but don’t do it yourself. It’s not your son, ya’know.”

“Sorry, but I have to side with Kahina this time. Begging and crying and pleading doesn’t bring the dead back. Nothing does.” Rura sighed and threw a glance over to the poor woman who now sat on the street, holding the arm tightly against her chest, crying her sons’ name, tears streaming down her face.

Keith said something to her, but the three couldn’t hear it over the shocked murmurs of the crowd. The crying intensified and Rura was afraid the poor woman would just get a heart attack or something like that – but nothing happened. Only Keith Shadis knelt down to face her.

“Okay, I’ll say it: It _is_ kind of dramatic and if it was my son, I’d probably cry too.”

“Shut up, Kahina. You cry when someone throws away meat.”

“Rura, you know that meat is precious. I’m very well aware that-”

“Shut up! I want to hear what they’re saying!” Sinia shushed at them and tried to push through the people to see more. Sometimes she wondered why she needed to see other humans suffer – and then suffer with them. Was she some kind of freakish masochist?

“But… my son… was useful, right?”, Moses’s mother asked, her voice shaking. That question surely caught Keith unprepared. Suddenly the air was way too warm and too thick. For Sinia it became hard to breathe. But looking back to Rura and Kahina she realized that it was just her, both her friends didn’t seem to be affected by anything. “He might … not have been a hero, but he at least died helping mankind fight back, right?!” The scream almost echoed from the walls.

“Okay, now I can hear you, lady”, Kahina commented and ate on.

Then there was silence. The sort one never wants to witness because it crushes everything one believed. This dreadful, heavy silence had the power to sicken.

“Of course!”, Keith called out.

“Liar”, Sinia mumbled and clenched her hands in front of her breasts. “Don’t you ever lie to a grieving mother.” Exactly then Keith retreated a bit. The brunette couldn’t tell if he had heard her or not, but he definitely had changed his mind.

“No…During this mission we… No, even after all of our missions – we still haven’t made any progress!” The Captain panted heavily, tears dropping from his chin.

“Too many feelings”, Kahina said, still chewing. “Get a hold on yourself, old man.”

“He has seen his friends and subordiantes getting eaten.” Rura rolled her eyes in the most annoyed way.

“Don’t we all see disgusting things at least once in our lifetime?”

“Oh dear gracious… Keith… don’t say that in front of everybody. That’s plainly stupid.” Now even Sinia had to think a bad thought.

“I’m a failure!!”, Keith continued screaming, all his despair was to hear in that sound. ”I’ve just gotten soldiers killed left and right! And we haven’t learned anything useful about the Titans!”

\-------- 

“That was quite a show.” Saying this, Kahina bit into the apple Rura had given to her right after leaving the main street. Gulping, she sighed.

“It wasn’t a show, this is how life goes”, Rura corrected her copper haired friend. It was important to her that everybody understood that this was life and that it wasn’t okay whatsoever. All this pain and fighting had to stop. But still, she hadn’t a useful plan, which was frustrating since she was handled the most intelligent of Sinia, Kahina and herself.

“I don’t know what to think”, Sinia suddenly said. “Why are there Titans? Why don’t we use more force to reclaim the land? Why are the strongest of the recruits allowed to stay within Wall Sina? It doesn’t make any sense at all.”

“And these, Sinia, are the questions people get killed for. You better watch out what you’re saying as long as there are many people around you. They’d sell you for a bunch of potatoes, if ya’know what I mean”, Kahina warned her friend and smiled into the sun. “I don’t know about you, but today I thought about how beautiful the outside world must be.”

“Yeah, we all think about that”, Rura slowly said.

“I want to see it. I’ll just tell Commander Pixis where I’m about to go and then I’ll see the world.”

“And you’d get eaten right after you set a foot outside. You’re just a Captain in the Garrison. You don’t know how to fight like the Recon Corps”, Sinia continued without blinking. “Why the sudden change of your mind anyway? I thought you wanted to stay here.”

“I want to see the reason why all these people died.”

”Kahina! Shout out to that spirit!” Rura and Sinia exchanged looks. “Then, what about the three of us join the Recon Corps? They see the world and have comrades to protect them.”

“I don’t need, nor do I want protection. Because I’m not an egoistic asshole who comes home safely just because my friends died on the field for me. No, that’s not the way I like it.”

“Where did that come from?”, Rura asked. “Did you hear that, Sinia? That fluttering of selflessness, this distant scent of … emotions?”

“Don’t do that, now that Kahina finally shows that she is capable of having feelings towards other human beings except for us or her bread-dealer”, Sinia grinned, but then stopped. “We can’t join the Recon Corps.”

“Why?”

“Bec-” A sudden thunderclap drowned Sinias sentence out. It came directly from Wall Maria. Looking there, a small trail of smoke was visible – but there was no rain and no dark clouds in the sky above.

“Where did that come from?” Alarmed, Rura shielded her eyes to get a better sight of what was behind the wall. “What was that?”

“Fuck. Sinia, is your gear ready to go?” Hastily Kahina checked her gear and fastened the leather straps.

“Yes!” Although Sinia was quite sure her belts and gear were untainted, she checked it again.

“Oh no… oh… oh good gracious…”

“Rura what is-“ Sinia stopped mid-sentence and gasped for air. “ _No_ …” 

Kahina looked up all the same and her jaw dropped open.


	2. Greetings From The Outside

“That’s not… possible”, Rura stuttered, holding a trembling hand in front of her mouth. “It's huge…”

There was a Titan looking over Wall Maria. A Titan. Without any skin, but muscles and ligaments. All around it was damp and hot air, and –

“It aims at the gate!!” Shouting this, Kahina used her gear to jump onto one of the houses to have a better look, Sinia and Rura followed straight. “What’s it doin’?”

“Rura, you have to go and meet up with your unit!”, Sinia called out – right at the moment as a huge blast wave stroke and dashed them into the air. Screaming, the young women managed to use their 3D-Maneuver-Gear to not get tossed around like pebbles in a storm, nonetheless they experienced a painful bounce onto the ground.

“ _Sinia! Rura!_ Dammit! Where are you?!” Dust and dirt covered the area and the young Captain had to concentrate to not get hit by a random piece of house which fell from the sky right in front of her. “Shit!”

“Sinia! Can you hear me?!” Shouting this, Rura rubbed her eyes and coughed, all this dust in the air made it hard for her to breathe.

“Yeah! Where are you?!”

“No! _Don’t_ come here! Go find Kahina! I have to go to my unit!!” It hurt to say that but Ruras’ clear sight of things had been one of the reasons why she was a member of the Military Police Brigade and not of the Garrison. Having said that, she turned around and ran towards the gate which led into the actual habitat of humanity within Wall Maria. Shiganshina was just a a town to attract Titans so the other people didn’t get attacked all the time.

“Kahina!! Where are you?!” Sinia jumped onto one of the higher roofs to get a better look at the situation. But it didn’t do anything to help her. Everywhere was chaos, people were crying – she could even see a smashed body underneath a huge stone. She began to breathe harder, her lungs felt so tight like she was about to drown. _I’m panicking_ , she realized. _Oh no, I’m panicking and these guys there need my help!_

“Sinia, _breathe_! For fucks sake! Deeeeep in, deep oooout!!”

“Kahina! You are here!”

“Rura is gone to search for her unit?”, the younger one asked and made her long hair into an untidy bun. Sinia just nodded, pointing at the vaporizing dust in front of the Wall. Behind there was a huge hole, the perfect entrance for Titans of all classes.

“Yes, I got it right after the wave hit us. We have to check if there are any Titans getting inside.” She looked at the smaller woman.

“Can’t you hear the screams? They are in already”, Sinia just whispered. “I’m too clumsy for that. I can’t even handle this fucking 3D-Gear-shit. How am I supposed to help here?”

“It’s not how much we can kill – it’s how much time can we buy until either the Recon Corps arrive or all people get evacuated.”

“That’s one way to look at it”, Sinia admitted and sighed. Looking at Kahina, she clenched her fists. “Alright! Let’s do this!”

\--------

“Help me!!” – “Nooo, please, I don’t want t-t-t-to d—Arrrggghhh!”

Rura ran through the streets to reach the wall which separated Shiganshina from the actual habitat. It was a long run, evading Titans, seeing dead bodies and hearing the screams of those who got eaten. _I never want to hear anything like that again_ , Rura thought while jumping onto a roof. She didn’t look right or left – the only focus was to reach the wall and get to her unit. She had to protect the king from the Titans!

“Nooo! _Anna_!! Not Anna!!”

Rura stopped and looked down. Never had she heard such a scream, so full of pain, it sounded like this mother was about to throw all her heart and feelings up. Turning right to see what had happened to her, she suddenly faced a 15-meter class Titan with black hair, huge teeth and small eyes. It looked her directly into the face. In its mouth was still half an arm, dangling between tongue and teeth. Most likely Annas' arm.

_Half an arm._ Ruras' eyes grew wide, and even wider as the Titan, this huge human-like built thing, started to reach out for her. She could see it right in front of her. It’d grab her with those long and huge fingers and devour her alive. _I know it’s going to happen, but why the hell can’t I move? Is this what shock feels like? My hands shake… they do never shake. What happens with me? I can’t even scream._ Her throat was so tight, not a single sound escaped her lungs.

“ _Move! Soldier! Move_!” A distant scream slowly reached her brain, the huge hand coming closer to her second by second. “For fucks sake, _move_!”

_For fucks sake – Sinia! Kahina!_ Remembering them caused her senses to come to life again. She had to shake off this unlucky petrification.

With one skillful jump she evaded the Titan, swiftly swung around and killed it before it could react. Landing on the roof again she finally allowed herself to let out the air she’d held in. But she stopped to breath out as she realized there was more to come from deeper down.

“Soldier! Good job!” A stranger in an uniform – obviously from the Garrison – caught up to her and smiled at her brightly. “One down – better than nothing!”

“How many people are still in Shiganshina?”, was all Rura wanted to know. They had to close the gates. The sooner the better.

“Enough to worry”, the young man said, only then he saw the badges on her jacket. “You are from the Military Police?”

“Seems so, doesn’t it?”, she just said.

“Are you going to leave us behind to protect the king?”

_Good question_ , Rura thought. Of course she’d sworn to give her life for the king. But right now the old man wasn’t endangered at all. Her friends were, though. _A really good question for a soldier like me_. She looked into the brown eyes of the young man. “Do I look to you like a corrupt bastard who leaves his friends behind?”

“No, you definitely don’t. By the way: My name is Ian Dietrich.”

“Hi Ian. I rather not tell my name, because I _should_ leave you behind, you know”, Rura grinned and turned around to see the destroyed city. Somewhere there where Sinia and Kahina. She had to find them and then they could still flee from there. But then again – how could they ever get back to their units if they fled today? Didn’t they want to join the Survey Corps? It was hard for Rura to form a clear thought, but at least she managed to follow Ian, who had the better knowledge of this place anyway.

\------ 

“Cut! _Now_! Deep!” Kahina stood on the back of the Titan and shouted at top of her lungs. With her gear she’d managed to truss that monstrosity on its feet for a few moments. Sinia stood right on the nape of the neck – the only weak point Titans had.

“ _Aaaarrrrggghh_!” Screaming, Sinia rammed her swords into the neck, cutting out a wedge-shaped piece of flesh. The Titan did not seem to be impressed and began to struggle harder.

“Again! Deeper! Sinia! _Deeper_!”

“I’m _scared_!”

“Me too! I stand on the fucking _butt_ of this fucking freak! So _kill_ it! Now or never!” There was not much time left to kill it – other Titans were approaching and this one didn’t seem to be willing to die young either. Kahina never had had the situation to kill a real life Titan and this was not the way she’d imagined it. Her knees hurt, dear heavens, they still had bled last time she’d checked.

And then Sinia cut again. And again. Until the wound was deep enough to be lethal. She was covered with Titan blood, which had the nice habit to dissolve into thin air once out of the Titans body – it was already damping, vaporizing.

“Great! Now come, Sinia!” The younger one jumped down from the Titans' dead body, let her hooks snap back to the gear and ran towards the nearest corner, Sinia right on her feet.

“I’ve seen three more in the south”, the brunette whispered, her voice nearly failing with fear, her whole body shaking.

“And two in the north, one to the west”, Kahina continued, goosebumps appearing on her forearms. She felt sick. She’d seen Titans devouring people like they were delicious grapes. _I can never eat grapes in my whole life again_ , the young woman thought desperately. _And where is the reinforcement? We should be at the gate to the inner ring right now. Damn!_

“We need to go to the inner ring! There we’ll be safe!”, Sinia shouted against the noise.

“But we have to help our comrades! Or else they’re gonna die!”

_You think about your comrades?_ Startled, Sinia stared at her friend, feeling stupid and egoistic. “Right. We need to go and see if they can protect the gate!”

“Good. Then – let’s go!”

On their way to the gate – both ran on the roofs of the buildings, it was way faster than on the streets – Sinia suddenly stopped and gasped. “Kahina! Stop! We need to help that poor woman!”

“Where?!”

_Wow – she never shows that much action when it comes to help others. Is it because we’re under attack?_ , Sinia wondered and pointed out where a young woman around her own age just got grabbed by a blond Titan. She followed the younger one – who was actually quite talented with the 3D-Maveuver-Gear but didn’t want to hear about that – her eyes fixed onto the screaming woman.

_Fuck. Like that, we can’t make it in time_ , Kahina thought almost desperately, watching as the Titan held the woman right above his opened mouth. With a huge power boost of her gear she shot one of the hooks into the right eye of the Titan, the other hook into the roof of the house behind him. _This just has to work out!_

“Kahina! Wait for me!!”, Sinia shouted but couldn’t do anything as her friend darted off.

The next second the other girl already had the woman in a tight grip. With a loud crack both landed on the bricks of the roof, rolling around and finally laying still. The Titan just turned around, a broad and hungry grin on his face.

“Sinia! Back off!!” With rising dread Kahina realized that this time shit was about to hit the fan so hard. And Sinia better be not here while that happened. But all the young woman could see were the Titans eyes and huge, even teeth. _I don’t want to be a delicious grape!_

“It’s gonna eat us alive!!” The woman was still screaming and showed no intention to stop it within the next minutes.

“But the Titan…!” Sinia stretched out her arm just to see her delicate fingers tremble.

“Leave now, go into the inner circle!”

But Sinia wasn’t able to move. She was paralyzed by the sight as the Titan grabbed Kahina on her leg, just lifted her up like she didn’t weight anything. Angry cries reached the brunette and it sounded hollow, like something else was stuck in Sinias' ears. The Titan opened his huge mouth, his tongue slowly reaching out.

It was this moment Kahina decided she didn’t want to die right now. Not whilst fighting, not whilst running away. She had other things to do! And this Titan stank out of its filthy gullet, as if a cow was rotting in there. That was the point. Kahina knew she’d rot in there, without coming out as shit. “ _I’m not a fucking snack_!!” And then she swung her swords in a way she’d never done before.

As the piece of tongue fell to the ground, the Titan let go of Kahina – leaving her to fall into his mouth. But it was Sinia who caught her friend mid fall, crashing with her onto the roof, screaming with pain and surprise. They whirled up some dust, which gave them the time to grab the civilian and shove her into the direction of the gate.

Only then Kahina turned to face Sinia, a bright smile on her face. “You did it! You mastered the 3D-Maneuver-Gear!”

“Yeah, I did!!”, Sinia grinned, but didn’t reveal her true thoughts: _What if I did not? The Titan would have eaten you. And it would have been my fault because I wanted to rescue that woman._

“And now we’re going to slay that motherfucker who dared to get in our way”, Kahina exclaimed, raising her sword towards the Titan. It already made its way towards the two young women who were expecting that thing with grim faces.

Just as they wanted to attack the Titan – as stupid and overestimating it was – the freakish monster turned and walked away. Heading towards the inner gate.

“What happened?” Sinia slowly put her swords back into their scabbards and ran her fingers through her long, straight hair. “Why did it walk away?”

“I don’t know. But it’s heading to the gate. Just as we are.”

But even though they followed the Titan, both knew how close death had been right now. Too close to be healthy.

Suddenly, a second crush shook them, causing both to lose their balance, sending them onto their knees, holding onto each other with wide eyes.

\------ 

She hadn’t come far as Rura saw it. Something she had hoped didn’t exist. But it did. A Titan which was able to destroy a gate, doing this without putting much effort in it. The Police Brigade Captain kept staring at the hole the Titan had crushed into the wall, thinking about all the horror and terror that would come upon the people living within Wall Maria. It was too late now.

Her thoughts dashed between all the people who had died already – beginning this chain with Moses – and the ones who’d probably die whilst fighting back. They came to a halt as they reached her family. Rura had two brothers and one older sister. They’d definitely fight back. And they lived not far from here. With bated breath she could sense the first Titans passing by her, not interested in one tiny human being. Behind this wall there was the true feast.

“ _Père… Maman…_ ” Nothing but a tiny whisper escaped her numb lips. Rura slightly remembered her oath to the king, that she’d protect him and the people within the innermost circle. But all their lives could not compete to the despair the young soldier felt at the thought that her family might die today. _I can’t come too late. I can still save them from the Titans!_ The young redhead activated her gear and darted off to reach the village she came from sooner than the Titans would.


	3. Upsetting News

_**Weak people revenge, strong people forgive, intelligent people don´t give a fuck – Levi** _

This had been five years from now, Wall Maria was still lost to humanity – which meant that around one third of the land just had fallen prey to the Titans – and there was no hope to regain it. Hunger was a huge problem, together with poverty and bad medical conditions.

Because of these changes for the negative, Rura had quit her job at the Military Police and was now performing as a doctor for humans and animals. Sinia did never want to see a Titan again and had decided to help the judges in court with her knowledge about almost everything. Mostly she did it because she could clearly say who lied and who told the truth. Only Kahina hadn’t changed her life, she was still with the Garrison, thinking about how to react if this Colossal Titan was ever attacking again.

Nonetheless, they kept on meeting once a week, which was hard enough for all three of them. Rura had to work almost every day of the week, Sinia had enough time to secretly train her 3D-Maneuver-Gear skills and Kahina was very close to just move into Wall Rose.

It was on one of these meetings near the gate of Wall Rose as Rura, now almost 25 years old, laid down her fork and cleared her throat. Sinia and Kahina didn’t stop eating but watched her friend attentively. When Rura didn’t say anything, both exchanged looks, Sinia did finally stop grubbing the delicious spareribs whilst Kahina still snarfed the stuff like she hadn’t eaten in days.

“Don’t wait for me, I’m fine eating and listening”, the tallest finally said while forcing down a huge piece of meat. “I’m sorry, but I had only bread for three weeks and it felt like hardcore-starving!”

“Only bread?!” Sinia coughed disbelievingly.

“And cheese. But I hate cheese, so basically bread.”

“As doctor I tell you, you should’ve eaten some of the cheese”, Rura said and sighed. “But whatever. There is something I need to tell you.”

“What is it?” Something within Sinias' guts told her that it wouldn’t be anything good. Something really bad, to be honest.

“You know that my father knows some of the closest consultants of king Franz?”

“O’couse we do”, Kahina slowly said. Everything concerning the king couldn’t be anything good. The king was old and somehow so totally undisturbed by the sorrows of his small nation he wasn’t even able to tell how a Titan looked or how true hunger felt.

“And they don’t like the thought of being unprotected in a crisis”, Rura continued, unintentionally watching Kahina gnawing on the bone of her third last spare-rib. “So they decided, tha-”

“Oh my gosh, look at _that_ ”, Sinia suddenly gasped, pointing at the men and women with green capes passing them by. “The Recon Corps were expected to leave for the mission tomorrow!”

“They can’t even stick to a fixed date – how on earth should we expect them to get rid of the Titans?”, Kahina just mentioned, licking her lips, her indifferent gaze set on the gate.

“Because they don’t need a fucking date, they need sharp swords and the preventive strike.” Rura rolled her aqua eyes, annoyed that she got disturbed while telling shocking news. But she knew that now the Recon Corps had all the attention of her friends.

“Yo, see that guy with black hair?”

“Kahina! That’s Captain Levi. _Everybody_ knows him”, Sinia exclaimed excited.

“Rura has a thing for him”, the copper haired woman suddenly grinned. “I wonder how he would react if I just said that into his expressionless face.”

“Stop it, please.” _I should have never told her about that_. Now Rura almost regretted letting Kahina in on that. But then again – her friend always said those _What if_ things, she never actually did them.

“You have a _thing_ for Captain _Levi Ackerman_?! Awesome!!”

“If you happen to say it any louder I have to sew your mouth shut”, Rura warned her brunette friend, growling. Yeah, maybe she had a crush on that guy – but honestly, who wouldn’t have a bunch of stormy hot butterflies in their belly seeing him? He was so handsome, cool and skilled – Ruras' heart always skipped not only one but many beats when seeing him.

“Alright, now that we acknowledged the fact that our 30-percent-causality-rate heroes are going to lose some more men except for Levi Ackerman, can we please return to the conversation? Rura, you were about to say something quite important. More important than counting the horses which will be empty after their arrival later on, don’t you think?”

“No, before we continue, you’ll excuse _right now_ ”, Sinia demanded. “You can’t talk that bad about Commander Erwins’ squad. They do _great_ work.”

“Oh, how would you know? Did you watch them fight against the Titans to know they fight so well? Also, why would you defend _Erwins'_ squad or abilities? As much as I know, he’s only in that position because Keith Shadis got kicked out, because… oh yes, he called himself a _failure_ ”, Kahina said, her voice dropping with condescension.

“Kahina, that really is quite … no. That was not okay. Do you see that? Those soldiers heard you! For fucks sake, walk up to Erwin and apologize!”

“Didn’t you want to tell us something else?” The tallest had not the slightest urge to apologize to Commander Erwin and actually admit that her opinion was a little harsh and all too realistic. How on earth was it possible that the things she thought could upset people like that? Hadn’t they thought the same already? Or were they simply afraid of the truth and Rura and Sinia were clever enough to see that?

“I’m not going to say anything if you do not apologize to Commander Erwin. You can’t just demoralize all those people and don’t even make an attempt to show you’re sorry”, Rura announced. She would not tolerate such cruel and sulky words about those brave soldiers in her presence. Especially not if those words came from one of her best friends. There were borders and Kahina had just found another.

“All right.” She threw her used napkin onto the table while standing up. “All right. I’ll do it. Your news better be the shit.” Kahina left the table, pushing her way through the crowd which stood alongside the street.

“Erm… I think you just put her good mood down”, Sinia slowly said, taking a spare-rib from Kahinas' plate and nibbling on it. “Look at the way she pushes these people away.”

“No. She always does that this way. But I want to hear what exactly she’s going to say as an excuse.”

“Do you know what?” The oldest took a sip of her water.

“No. What?”

“I never heard her excuse to anybody. You really must’ve hit a weak spot.”

Kahina stepped onto the street behind Erwins' horse and narrowed her amber eyes. Stupid Rura and her sermons. Always making her feel bad. With fast, wide steps she overtook Erwin, the next second she obstructed his way, her arms folded. The young woman was quite aware about her appearance – today she didn’t wear her Garrison-outfit but a high-necked dress without sleeves, which she’d shortened a while ago. Shortened a lot. It only covered her butt and was definitely not helping to better her shameful situation.

“13th unit Commander Erwin Smith, is that you?”, she asked as the blond man with very intense blue eyes stared at her. In his gaze was all Kahina needed to know: He’d heard everything.

“Indeed. And who are you?”

_Wow, quite an outstanding voice_ , she thought. The young Krylow wanted to salute to the Commander but didn’t dare because she didn’t want him to know that she was a soldier. “I’m Kahina Krylow. I am here to … er…” She stopped mid sentence, not knowing what to do. Glancing over to Rura and Sinia only got her grim looks.

“Yes?”, Erwin Smith asked – way softer than expected. His soldiers had stopped to walk as well, observing the situation carefully. They hadn’t seen their Commander talking to girls except the ones in the unit so it was at least interesting for everyone.

Opening her mouth, she had no idea what she wanted to say. “Iwantedtoapologisefor-myunkindwordsandIdon’tknowhowtodothatproperly. So sorry, man.”

“Excuse me?” The Commanders eyebrows rose slightly.

Some of the soldiers laughed and didn’t care how embarrassing the situation was. Others from the Recon Corps listened carefully. Kahina was quite aware of that, nervously licking her lips she started anew: “I wanted to apologize for my unkind words and I don’t know how to do that properly. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings or your pride or anything.” Suddenly she stopped. “No, sorry. That was a lie. I do not intend to make any excuses. Ever. Actually, I don’t care if I hurt your feelings or not, because it’s the truth. You either deal with it or don’t. Which doesn’t mean I don’t think you do great work. But you can’t fight the facts.”

“Krylow”, Erwin repeated her surname. “You were one of the three young soldiers who killed some Titans five years ago, right?”

“Huh?!”

\----

“Oh, yeah, I forgot: I told him everything about you and Kahina”, Sinia almost grinned, watching her friends’ struggle to get out of this awkward situation.

“Does he know our faces?”, Rura asked, not turning her head away from the scenery. No way she wanted to miss a single thing right now, seeing her friend squirm and suffer internally was the best she had seen in weeks. Especially since this could count as a lesson in behavior.

“Nah, only mine. But he’s exceptionally good with names”, the oldest went on and grinned at Rura. “He has one trait in common with you, that strong feeling of morale and freedom. I’d say, he’s even worse than you. Maybe he can talk Kahina into a bit of decency?”

“I dare to doubt that.” The redhead helped herself to a berry cookie, devouring it with one bite only, enjoying the scarce taste of sweetness. Even though she was a doctor now she wanted to stay fit to fight if necessary. “I dare to really doubt _that_.”

\----

“I heard you are a soldier within the Garrison, having your own unit, being Commander Dot Pixis’ favorite”, Erwin went on, not even reacting to her apology. Sinia had told him a lot about her best friends and he had quite a different picture of those persons. He dismounted his white horse, patting its neck.

Kahina realized it was time to do the salute. He knew about her, somehow. So she saluted and stayed still. “Yes, Sir. I have my own squad. But I would not go as far as to say that I am someones’ favorite. I just proved skilled enough to lead my own group.”

Erwin returned the salute, then crossed his arms in the most hot way, Kahina had never someone seen do it like that. “So tell me, what are these unkind words you feel bad about?”

“I strongly advise you to not overexcite it. I’m quite sure you heard what I’ve said, Sir.”

“Are you?” There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice – even Erwin seemed surprised for a second. Obviously he wasn’t used to talk to stubborn or autocratic people.

“I think they wouldn’t let you be the Commander of many squads, Sir, if you happened to be deaf.” Grinning she stopped saluting and stretched herself. “Well – it’s a nice day and I don’t intend to waste any more time here. I wish you the best success on this mission. My _pleasure_ , Commander.” Casually she waved and then pushed her way back to her friends.

“What did I say?”, Rura mumbled right before Kahina returned. The redhead observed how her friend sat down again and bit without another word into a spare-rib.

“You did well.”

“Yes, you did! I mean – Erwin has saluted to you”, Sinia tried to brighten up her friend. She seemed so down right now. “He thinks you are a good soldier.”

“Thinks I’m a good soldier my ass”, Kahina mumbled.

“But I have to say, you could’ve been a _bit_ more respectful”, the brunette went on. “Because, you know, he’s a Commander. Of the Recon Corps. This is for a reason.”

“Because he isn’t deaf and can talk like a politician?”, Rura interfered, halfway grinning.

“Whatever, guys. Rura. You wanted to give us the news.”

“Oh right! Right!”, Sinia called out, threw her arms in the air and accidentally tossed the spare-rib into the crowd. As it hit one soldiers head, all three of the young women ducked down, suppressing a mischievous laugh. “The news Rura, what are they about?”

“They better be the shit”, Kahina added, still mad she’d been forced to humiliate herself in front of so many other soldiers. “And keep it short. I need to get some things straight afterwards.”

“What things?”

“I saw some people of my unit.”

_Ouch_ , Rura thought. _We didn't consider the fact that she is the toughest person on this planet – and now her subordinates saw her halfway weak for only a second. Something Kahina obviously can’t deal with_. She glanced to Sinia, who didn’t seem to have any remorse at all.

“Okay… the news is: The king wants all men over the age of 27 to get married and beget children. Every man.” The redhead paused, grabbing her second cookie. “Not only the merchants or bakers – the soldiers as well. Many of them are not married – and who’s still single within half a year will get punished. But I don’t know for sure what punishment that shall be.”

“What?” Sinia and Kahina stared at Rura in pure confusion. They must have misheard.

“Sorry, but what the fuck does the king want to achieve with that?”, the oldest dared to ask.

“Nothing, he’s just a giant asshole who gets turned on by the thought of creating couples who have to have sex with each other”, Kahina explained dryly.

“Honestly? There are people who can hear us, so please don't make your opinion that obvious.” Rura bit off half the cookie and chewed it loudly. “He wants to repopulate this area. He’s afraid that there will be not enough soldiers to protect him and his high and mighty friends later on. He sees the Recon Corps dying out, as well as the Garrison losing against the Titans. Also, he can make a fortune with this new law since many of the men will not be willing to marry that suddenly and without love.”

“Just as I said: The king is a jackleg asshole.”

“And what about the guys who don’t have a girlfriend?”, Sinia questioned the new law. Who could have possibly thought of such a shitty thing? “What about the horrid ugly guys?”

“They just have to find a woman who’s willing to sacrifice her life in order to keep a man from punishment.” The youngest stood up again and cracked her joints.

“Okay, Rura, I have to tell you: Those news are _real shit_. It would be worth apologizing thrice to this ultra stiff Commander who thinks he’s Mister How-you-dare-criticize-me.”

“You should apologize for every bad word you ever said about Erwin”, Sinia recommended, then furrowed her brows. “And when does this law come into effect?”

“According to the things my dad told me? Within the next months or something like that. They want to push it through rather quickly.”

“Honestly? Time to hit the king in his stupid ass face.”

“Kahina, people are listening”, Sinia sighed. But still, her friend was right to a point: Why on earth would anybody obey to a law like that? If she were a guy, she definitely would rebel against something so stupid.

“And? Nobody would dare to take the dirty words I speak into their clean mouths.”

“Bitch _that_ might be”, Rura just grinned.


	4. Dark Bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the Colossal Titan appears once again, the young women have to decide what they are willing to do to make a difference.

The three were strolling around the streets of Trost – a small town, just like Shiganshina back then – and chatting about other, less important stuff. Things like this arthritis Miss Shinku suffered for so long now, or that Sinia definitely had seen two judges making out in a silent corner of the court. Or about the fact that this little nagger Eren Jaeger wanted to join the Recon Corps now.

Sinia cautiously avoided adding that there were others who wanted to do the same – because then Rura and Kahina would start bitching about Bertholdt, Ymir or Reiner, too. All of them were good soldiers, at least in Sinias' humble opinion. But then again, in her opinion she had a crush on Reiner Braun and no one was to ever know. Not that he was so much younger than her, they were only two years apart, but he just had finished the three year long training. It wasn’t something to be proud of at the age of 24.

Well, then the brunette thought about the fact that Rura had a thing for _Levi fucking Ackerman_ – the chillest person living on this planet. Besides Kahina, that was. Well, the coldest guy living on this earth. How did the redhead want to get closer to him? Sinia would want Rura to. She’d not accept if her friend at least didn’t try.

“Yo, Sinia, did you even listen?”

“Eh?!”

“Thinking about dicks again?”, Kahina cheekily grinned into the face of the brunette. “Getting all red on your cute nose – gotcha, girl!”

“She wasn’t thinking about phalli”, Rura defended Sinia – then glared at her with a gruesome expression. “Or _did_ you?!”

“What? No!” _How the hell did they come to talk about male genitalia?_ , Sinia just thought, highly irritated and somehow embarrassed.

“May or may not, I can just tell what I saw and I guarantee I saw Armins’ dick and it’s huge for that skinny and pooty boy. Honestly, _such a johnson_!” Kahina showed with her hands at least 12 centimeters. “I almost lost my shit – I can’t ever look into those baby blue eyes of his ever again.”

_Ah, there we are_ , Sinia thought, halfway relieved that it was Armin and not her who’d brought the topic up. “Wait – _Armin_ has such a ...thing?!” Armin – that small, slim guy who always was at Erens' and Mikasas' side, blond hair and big blue eyes. He didn’t look like a well-hung man at all.

“I don’t believe shit.” The youngest folded her arms. “Why the hell would _you_ sneak into the locker room of the men anyways?”

“Well, maybe I wanted to borrow a towel? They were all showering and didn’t hear me – and then suddenly Armin stood there in front of me, naked and wet and such stuff. Ya know.”

“I can’t believe you checked him out down there!”, the brunette exclaimed, glad it hadn’t been Reiner who had come out of the shower that day.

“What would you have done, then, hm? Wait – no. Wait. You would’ve given him the towel right away, right? _Here, poor Armin with your dick hanging around so lonely, take the towel and protect it from my traitorous eyes_!” She chuckled, bit her lip and giggled even more.

“It is not funny”, Sinia pouted, but had to suppress a laugh as well.

“It is!” Even Rura curled with laughter, holding her belly. “My traitorous eyes…!”

“Take this tow- _w-w-w…_ ” Now even Sinia could not hold back her cackling.

A sudden thunder shook the three young women and took their stand. Shrieking they fell to the ground and looked up to where the noise had come from.

“This can’t be!” Rura jumped up again, staring up to the face of the Colossal Titan which had appeared right behind Trosts’ Wall Rose. Smoke emerged its huge body.

“Fuck! Every time I’m off duty!!” Shouting this, Kahina ran away – probably home to grab her 3D-Maneuver-Gear and then fight off the danger. “I’ll be back later! Hang in there, girls!”

Rura and Sinia glanced at each other. Both knew exactly what they should be doing: Go to where the emergency guide wanted them to be. But then again, their friend would be fighting soon. Rura could not imagine to stay still right now, only waiting for injured soldiers to come back. And Sinia avoided the thought of sitting behind Wall Sina, hoping the situation would be over soon.

“Say, Rura, do you still have your gear?”

“Sure. Do you?”

“You bet.”

Rura was about to go and fetch her stuff, as she stopped. “And Sinia? Be careful.”

\----

As she arrived at Wall Rose, Kahina only was able to see a lot of trouble and chaos. Some of the rookies were still there, like Eren Jaeger – who was even surprised about that? –, Sasha Blouse, Connie Springer and some others. They looked petrified and shocked. Also, all the batteries were gone, the wall itself highly damaged.

“104th Trainees Squad! Leave this place at once!”, she bellowed, while forcing her hair into something like a bun. “Your actions here are over! The Garrison will take it from here!” Easier said than done – but at least that Colossal Titan had vanished. _Again_. Why the fuck would it do that, it could even run to the next Wall and annihilate humanity with two more strikes.

“Captain Krylow!!”, Connie saluted, still dangling in the air with his Gear. He didn’t like that straight forward woman in any way, but she had this anima… everybody followed her orders without questioning, accepting her skills and rank. He just wondered why she was walking around in this short dress and her gear. From his angle he could even have a glance at her black panties.

“Ah, Hugo. There you are.” Kahina went on until she stood right in front of one of her team members. “Where’s the net? We need to fixate it up here and down there. And I want a second and third net as well. Just one would not be enough. We need some men on the ground to fight if necessary.”

“Captain Krylow! I’m so glad you’re here. The net is being brought and… a second? A third? Shouldn’t one be enough?”, the brown haired man called back over all the noise and screams from the civilians which started to echo through the streets.

“Shouldn’t one meal a day be enough?”, she just shot back and grabbed a third pair of blades for her swords. “Don’t question me, Hugo. Do as I say.”

“All.. all right!” He stormed off to fulfill this order.

“And to you, youngsters! Good job. I’m almost proud. Remind me when this is over that I kinda owe you what.” She crouched down, waving at the rookies who dangled on the wall. “You better leave now, this gonna be nasty in the best case.”

“But won’t you need our help?!”, Eren yelled, jumping up to stand in front of Kahina. He did the salute without even thinking. Well, if he insisted. She wouldn’t salute right now.

“I don’t need your help, darling. Rather go and see if someone else is in need of your strength. Rookies! Get to the HQ and report! Everyone who had contact with the Colossal Titan!”

“Yes Sir!!”, the young soldiers called out, then left – at least Kahina hoped so, because she didn't really care anymore about them. She had to face a way worse problem than children-out-of-control. All her efforts to prevent such an event were just smashed with one kick of the Colossal Titan. She needed to settle that score with that bastard.

The dark bells of Trost began to toll, mixed with the screams of the people Kahina felt thrown back in time. When 5 years ago had happened the same.

\----

As the bells tolled, Rura knew that not only the Colossal Titan had appeared again, but it had crushed the gate. _Again_. How did this thing suppose her to handle this emotional distress? Knowing one of her best friends was at the front, trying to keep causalities as low as possible, knowing that Sinia would be there soon as well. And knowing that she couldn’t protect her family forever. Because Rura needed to help Sinia and Kahina. Even though she wasn’t a soldier anymore – it was an emergency and the hell she’d do and just hope for it to end.

Arriving at her house, Rura didn’t take the time to change her clothes, so she just put on her gear, leaving the place still wearing her black shorts and white shirt. On her way to Wall Rose the thought of victory occurred to her. If everybody with military education came to help like her – how should they lose against the Titans? If everybody united? And no one was afraid to die? It’d be possible. She was sure of it. Unfortunately there were a lot of chickenshits around who’d rater hide and be caged forever instead of fighting for their freedom. 

\----

“You know I can’t allow that.”

“But how can you not?! There are lives at stake! Won’t you let me rescue them?” Sinia couldn’t believe what her father was telling her now. Why wouldn’t he let her help? She wanted to! Even though she never wanted to see a Titan again, Sinia knew she just had to fight together with her friends to protect all the helpless civilians from those monsters. At least she knew how to fight.

“The situation did not escalate right now. It’s still manageable for the Garrison. You shall stay within Wall Rose”, the older man plainly said, staring at his daughter. She definitely was a good girl, always trying to do the right things – although she had some friends who had bad influence on her. Especially that young Krylow, he’d heard about her from soldiers who belonged to the Garrison. The other one, Rura Ledoux, may had some influence on Sinia as well, but at least she knew about dignity and manners.

“It is not! I’m definitely going to leave! Rura trusts me, I promised her to come again! Please hand me my stuff!” The brunette almost cried out as he only shook his head. “For fucks sake, Kahina is protecting Trost and all the people and you ain’t willing to help? What shall I say on her grave if she dies? Sorry I overestimated my fathers love for humans – he didn’t help and now you’re dead even if you were alive if he let me go?!” Sinia almost shouted, stomping with her right foot. _This is what betrayal feels like_ , she thought frustrated.

“For fucks sake?” _These are not the words Sinia spoke before she knew Rura or Kahina_ , the judge realized and had to suppress a dissatisfied grimace. _They made her more feisty_ , he thought.

“Exactly!”

“You realize I can’t just give you your old gear. It’s dangerous and not only me, but all the other judges need you in court”, he finally sighed. “I wish you’d understand the situation.”

“Yeah, I do. Always stay on the safe side and let others die”, Sinia riled, made a sharp turn and left the office, knowing she had overreacted. Cursing all the way out of the building, she decided to go and seek for someone whose gear she could borrow. Someone had just had to lend a hand. After all, humanity was endangered!

\----

“Hugo, where are the fucking nets?!”

“Captain Krylow! The troop organizing our supplies is under Titan attack!”

“Really?” Suddenly her voice became chilly and sarcastic. “Who’d thought that since I wait for this shit for forever.” Folding her arms, Kahina walked up and down along the wall. “All right. Hugo, Clarence – the two of you keep an eye on the broken gate and try to get some of the batteries working again. If this fails, you will move your sorry little asses to help me rescue those poor souls at the chapel where the supplies are stored.”

“But – but you can’t go alone, sir!”, Clarence, a experienced woman, called out and gulped as Kahina stared at her. “It’s too dangerous. We can’t afford to lose you.”

“That, Clarence, is why I am Captain and you are not. Just promise to not get eaten, right.” _Actually, worst day ever_ , Kahina thought as she jumped down the wall to land onto a roof. There was one Titan to her left, for sure it would notice her soon. _This is what they get for not listening to me_. She decided to take care of that Titan just in case it’d see her – with one swift movement, using her gear, she cut out the weak spot, watching the Titan go down without any sound of pain or hint of physical suffering. It just fell. Like a tree.

For a second Kahina wondered how this could be possible, but right now she had to secure the inner gate, to evacuate the residents.

It was as she passed the town square that she saw someone familiar – hurrying right to the front gate of Trost. “ _Rura_!!” With a sharp turn Kahina followed her friend. “Dammit, Rura! Won’t you listen!!” _I have to hurry – how the fuck is she so fast? Seems like she has her suicidal-days_ , Kahina thought bitterly.

The next minute she reached Rura, slapping the back of her friends head and coming to a rather clumsy halt on a roof. “Rura, the fuck is wrong with you? Don’tcha hear me when I scream?”

“Oh, Kahina! I was just searching for you!” Rura joined her friend, then had a look around. “Why are there Titans in Trost?”

“I hadn’t enough nets and they broke through. Shit’s hitting the fan again. Where’s Sinia?”

“You hadn’t enough…? What? That’s the reason?” Rura couldn’t believe her ears.

“That’s the result if nobody listens to me.” The older one shrugged her shoulders, sighing. “So, what about Sinia?”

“She gets her gear and joins us later. I wished the Recon Corps were here. Sinia could just go and fetch them to help.”

Silence – except for the screams of some humans – fell upon the young women as Kahina stared at Rura with the most strange expression. Something between hurt and anger. And disappointment. What was wrong with Ruras’ friend? Wasn’t it good they’d get help from the Recon Corps?

“She…would fetch…the Recon Corps?” Taking a deep breath, Kahina clenched her fists. “Commander Erwin Smith and his gang I guess? Why on earth would she go get him if he was here? This is still a matter of the Garrison, not for the Recon Corps!!” She turned away from Rura, staring at her fist. “I know we’re not the strongest or most skillful ones – but we know how to fight if necessary. I have faith in my men and I won’t accept any help unless it can’t be avoided anymore!!” Suddenly Kahina glared at Rura with a grim expression. “If I saw Erwin or anybody of the Recon Corps here, I’d tell them to go home again.”

“Kahina… what is wrong with you? Why are you so ungrateful? Fuck, they are not even here! They can’t help – and even if, you would just bitch about it! This is messed up!!”

“You know what’s messed up? That the high and mighty thought one net would be enough!”, Kahina snapped back, stomping away. “You wanna come now and help me get some supplies or do you want to stand there and watch people getting eaten?”

“This is not fair”, Rura murmured, but followed straight. “If the Garrison made you into this, I wish you’d just become a florist like you always wanted to be.” Watching the people run towards the inner gate, Rura had to restrain the urge to close her eyes tightly. She had never forgotten about the terror Titans caused, but at least she’d tried to shut it out of her mind.


	5. Shapes of Teamwork

“How the hell are we supposed to kill all of them? They’re definitely too many!!”, Rura shouted as she killed a Titan and jumped towards Kahina, who was dangling on a Titan, only having a hold on its hair. Both had been fighting for over two hours now, killing Titans and evading them, luring them away from the escape route. It had been harder than expected and they were quite exhausted by now.

“It’s just we’re too few!”, Kahina retorted and squealed as the Titan shook its head violently to get a hold of her. “You fucking fleshbag!!” Swinging her swords, she cut out the weak spot, doing a backflip as the Titan fell. “Too jiggly to do my work the right way.”

“You want to waste any more time looking badass killing Titans instead of helping the newbies?” The redhead joined her friend on the street and took a deep breath as the breeze freshened. “It’s not too far now from the chapel.”

“Far enough.” Wiping some strands of her copper hair out of her face, Kahina smeared a lot of dust and dirt onto her tanned skin. “Actually, I think th-”

“ _The fuck is this_?!”

“Yeah, first you ask, then you’re not interested.”

“Mind turning around and look at that shit?”

\----

“Good gracious, what is this?” Sinia stopped, staggered on the roof and finally managed to stand still. Almost right in front of her – within the close range of the chapel – a 15-meter-class Titan was beating other Titans up. The brunettes eyes widened as she saw that this one was somehow different, its eyes were glowing greenish, it had cuspid ears and definitely more muscles than any other Titan.

Right now it was taking down some Titans which were lurking around the chapel. Sinia could see the broken windows and figured that the rookies most likely were in there, hiding from the monsters.

Strange enough, the muscular Titan was not at all interested in people. The young woman decided to hurry and check what was going on in the chapel and maybe help some of the wounded. Although she did not really know how to do that – she wasn’t a medic at all and did hardly know how to deal with injuries of any kind. But it was better to help than to do nothing. And since she didn’t dare to search for Rura or Kahina on her own, Sinia thought this would be best.

Racing over the roofs, the 26-year old almost didn’t see them – but just the way how the persons moved helped her brain get the information right. Just a few dozen meters away there were Rura and Kahina! And they were heading for the chapel as well! She let out a yell of relief and sped up.

\----

“Sinia! Why are you here?!” Hugging the brunette, Kahina laughed and growled at the same time. How could her friend be so stupid to join her? Neither Rura nor Sinia were soldiers anymore, but both just _had_ to butt into that stuff. “It’s _dangerous_!”

“I know!”, Sinia cried out and almost crushed Kahina, feeling bad for not bringing any help alongside. “But I tried to fetch the one or other – but they wouldn't come and it took me forever to get here because I had to search for my gear!”

“Wait – what?!” Rura interrupted the conversation and stopped watching the strange Titan beating other Titans up. “They wouldn’t come? Even though it’s an emergency?”

“It’s not an emergency, the situation is so totally under control by the Garrison”, Sinia almost spat out and furrowed her brows, staring at her friends. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t convince them to come.”

“No, I guess it’s better that way”, Rura slowly said, remembering the words of Kahina. Additionally to her friends disapproval of help – this muscular Titan really was a help. Within minutes the area around the chapel was cleaned off Titans. “But it’s nice you tried.”

Sinia shot Rura a questioning look, but didn’t ask what was going on. Because there were many other interesting things to see right now. First of all that Titan. And second, Armin, Mikasa and Connie just entering the chapel – jumping through the broken windows.

“Yo, Rura, what do ya think: Are there still more of the newbies in the chapel?”, Kahina asked, letting go of Sinia and stretching herself.

“I bet. Seemed like Mikasa and the others were almost out of gas. They just don’t know how to handle the gear”, the redhead replied, scratching the back of her head. “I mean, did you see them? Wasting all the gas within a few moves.”

“It’s not the proper use of this kind of gear”, Sinia nodded, seeming to want to add something, but got distracted by human voices coming out of the chapel. Cautiously she looked there, seeing many of the rookies standing in a hole in the wall. They held their swords up and seemed optimistic. Of course, with a full gas tank everybody would feel better. _Cowards_ , Sinia thought. _You better learn quickly how to use it properly._

“Oh my gosh, look at that! The Titan gets eaten by its prey!”, Kahina suddenly called out, pointing to the dark haired, human-friendly Titan. Five smaller Titans were gathered around him, taking bites of its flesh. The tallest – that _good-guy-Titan_ – let out loud and vibrating groans of pain.

At that moment Mikasa landed on her feet right beside Sinia, half her face hidden by the red scarf she was always wearing. Kahina wrinkled her nose – there was nothing in particular she didn’t like about that black haired girl, maybe it was just the fact Mikasa existed at all. The way this girl seemed to protect Eren was almost psychotic. Other than Sinia, Kahina could really not think about becoming friends with this Ackerman-girl. Even so, Rura just raised an eyebrow, closely watching the newcomer. Something seemed wrong, Mikasa appeared somehow worried, not as indifferent as always.

“Mikasa! We’ve gotta hurry!” Now even Armin joined the four girls.

With his arrival, Kahina turned her head away, closed her eyes and suppressed a laugh. Rura and Sinia knew exactly why and had to struggle as well. Just the thought of well-hung-Armin made all three of them want to burst out into hysterical laughter.

“That Titan…”, Mikasa slowly said. “They’re… eating it.”

“Right. They’re eating it with great joy”, Rura confirmed, her voice sounding more heartless than it actually was. The scenery was quite disturbing and dramatic, to be honest and the redhead had a lot of trouble to stay calm. She wanted to help that Titan so badly.

“Its body can’t regenerate?”, Armin rather asked than stated. 

“What a pity.” Kahina yawned, then grabbed her swords. “I don’t know about you, but I’ma gonna help that buddy now. Rura, Sinia – are you in?”

“You bet!”, both grinned – and all three of them jumped, using their gear, to help the Titan. With a few well placed attacks they managed to take down four of the Titans – the fifth got killed as the buddy-Titan kicked out, crushing the 3-meter-class Titans head and weak spot with only one hit.

“Whoa, caution!”, Rura called out and the young women hastily retreated onto a nearby roof. “Now look at that. That guy has no arms left but kicks his enemies to death. This is what I call a will of iron!” She almost grinned.

“It’s losing control!” The brunette exclaimed jittery, watching as the Titan went totally crazy as it saw another one with blond hair.

“Ah! That’s… the abnormal that ate Thomas!”, Armin almost shouted, pointing at the blond, very skinny Titan. With huge steps and a loud scream the injured Titan stormed towards the new enemy.

“Wow, crazy shit. Do you see the same I do?” Saying this, Kahina cocked her head. “It’s biting the Titans head off. Quite a strong set of teeth.”

“It’s regenerating again”, Rura noticed, cocking her head.

“I’d doubt that”, Kahina suddenly murmured. “Look at the arms. It’s maybe trying to regenerate. But it’s only damping, there is no new tissue growing.”

“You two know what?”, Sinia sighed. “I don’t think it’s of any interest. Because that Titan’s falling like a felled tree.” And just as the judges daughter said so, the buddy-Titan went down on its knees – his face hitting the place with full speed. Its body was damping and melting.

On the other roof, Armin, Mikasa, Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie and even Jean were quite shocked about what had happened right now.

_They get shocked quite easily_ , Rura thought and rolled her eyes. _Babies, honestly._

“Looks like it burnt itself out”, Jean mentioned lout enough for everybody to hear. He turned around, eager to leave this place. “Whatever, let’s get going! There’s no way that monster’s on our side! Titans are Titans.”

“Really, Jean is such a pussy”, Sinia hissed. She didn’t like the way he treated others, she didn’t even like the way he took his breaths. 

“And he has no sense for differences in temper at all”, Rura added.

The Titans body was almost melted away completely, only a bunch of hair was left and some ligaments. And a dark spot on the ground.

“Sorry, ladies, but I _gotta_ see that”, Kahina informed her friends and jumped down from the roof, walking towards the damping bunch of Titan-leftover. 

“Be fucking careful!!”, Rura just ordered loud enough for everybody to hear.

“What is it?” Now Jean went to the edge of the roof, looking down since everybody seemed so confused and shocked.

At that moment a well known body unsticked himself from the nape of the dead Titan.

“Is this… Eren?”, Sinia whispered, taken by surprise. She could feel her hands shake again.

“Yo, that’s Eren! What the hell?”, Kahina shouted towards the others. “Hey, newbie! I didn’t tell you to transform into a Titan as I said you should have a look at where we could use your strength the best way.”

The very next second Mikasa jumped off the roof of the building, running towards the passed out male. Kahina decided to give those two a second before she’d examine the boy with Ruras help. This was the most interesting thing ever! Looking up to her two friends, the 25-year old could see the same fascination written all over their faces.

\----

“It’s like _oh-my_ , the best thing ever! We have someone who can transform into a Titan – and he’s seriously strong and we can do some _experiments_ with him!” Rura stared into the sky and smiled happily. They were walking around behind the Walls of Trost, within the – still save – ring of Wall Rose. The Garrison had shut the gate and no Armored or Colossal Titan had destroyed it until now, so people were quite optimistic.

“This sounds so wrong in all possible ways”, Sinia sighed, scratching her head and thinking about the Recon Corps. Why had they left this morning? So many soldiers had died up to now in this attack – she was sure it wouldn’t have been so many had there been the elite available. But it hadn’t been. Still she fought with the thought about all those who died today, but the hell would she do and tell Rura or – God forbid – Kahina. Both would just roll their eyes and lecture her again that everyone had to die once in lifetime.

“Just because you think about other experiments than I do”, Rura complained and shook her red curls. “What I wanted to say is: Eren could become a _crucial_ weapon for humanity.”

“Coming in quite handy, doesn’t he?”, Kahina suddenly asked, her brows furrowed.

“Are you complaining or criticizing?”, Sinia wanted to know, raising her eyebrows at her friend.

“Nah, chill man. But think about it. Does this all look like an accident to you?”

“Kahina, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but Titans do not make _plans_ , they just do. For example attack our Walls”, Sinia said, slowly starting to worry about her friends. One was eager to perform experiments on an innocent boy, the other one got lost in conspiracy theories. Great.

“Yeah, of course. But have a look at it this way: Maybe someone can control the Colossal Titan? Who knows? It just appears, destroys the Wall and leaves again. So – what if somebody wants to terrorize humanity for the fun of it and waits until the Recon Corps is out on a mission with his or her attack? Doesn’t this sound kind of-”

“Stupid? _Damned_ stupid, for sure”, Rura interfered. “Who’d do that? And so – why attack your own home with such a huge Titan? Why not kill all the other Titans instead?”

“I would not know; I’m not a criminal mastermind!”

“But you could be”, Sinia said as a small chuckle escaped her lips, thinking about all the bread and pork Kahina had stolen at the market. If anyone of the Military Police knew about that amount of stolen food – well, Kahina wouldn’t be a free human being for all too long. 

“Her? A criminal mastermind? No. She’s way too forthright for that”, Rura briskly negated Sinias suggestion.

“Do you want to imply I’m not- _heeey_! Look at that! What’s going on there? Why is the gate closed?” The tallest of them stopped dead in the middle of her movement and furrowed her trimmed eyebrows. Her friends followed suit and stared at the huge gate and the three soldiers from the Garrison who were protecting it. “Alexej, what is the meaning of this? I intend to pass through here.”

“Excuse me, Captain, but I’m not allowed to let anybody pass”, the young man with neat black hair responded dutifully, saluting to the young Krylow.

“Not even your superior?”, Sinia asked, her head slightly cocked. Not that she doubted Alexejs’ obedience towards his Captain – but sometimes such questions were just right.

“You better think before you refuse your Captain something that might be of interest”, Rura stated, staring the young man into the ground with her bright eyes.

“B-But Captain Woerman…”

“Oh, Woerman is here as well? That explains a lot.” Kahina took a quick glance around, then turned to face Alexej again. “Open the gate at once. This is an order.”

“Bu-“ He seemed rather distressed at her harsh tone.

“An order. _At once_.”

“Sir!” Suddenly full of eager, he and his two comrades – who didn’t involve themselves into the conversation, which had seemed the best way to stay out of trouble for them – opened the iron creel to let the three women in.

Stepping onto the huge square, Rura suddenly understood the situation and why nobody should witness it. Walking in front of her friends, Kahina had her narrowed eyes on her fellow Captain.

“What is going on here? And why is this pussy Woerman shouting around? Does he need to fart and can’t? The fuck is his damn problem? I hate this guy.”

“That escalated quickly”, Sinia stated, staring at Kahina, who’s face gotten all grim and dark. “Why don’t you like him?”

“Didn’t you listen? It’s pure disgust she feels towards this man.” Rura had a closer look a the scenery and suddenly stopped still. “Wait.” But the other two just walked on. “Sinia! Kahina! Fucking _freeze_!”

“What’s wrong?” Kahina rolled her amber eyes at Rura.

“Mind having a closer look?”, Rura just advised. “There are three persons who don’t belong here.”

“Oh, _dear me_! It’s this stupid dickhead Woerman who doesn’t belong here”, Kahina said sarcastically.

“Dear gracious! It’s Eren and Mikasa – and Armin? What are they doing here? Why are _cannons_ pointed at them? Why are they surrounded?” Sinias eyes grew wider as she registered the sheer amount of soldiers who were standing around the three rookies. What was going on? Why did Kitts Woerman look so frightened and judgmental?

“I’ll ask you once again! What are you?!”, Woerman just called out, obviously to Eren, who sat in silence and definitely in shock. The eyes of the Captain didn't look as confided as he would wish.

“I tell you, he has no control over his feelings”, Kahina whispered in pure disgust.

“Well, at least he has feelings”, Sinia hit back, hiding a smirk.

“Better no feelings than such”, was all Rura said concerning that topic. 

“ _I’m human_!!”

Armin and Mikasa were startled by that shout from Eren – just as all the other soldiers were. Because, well, Eren had been seen while emerging from that Titans body.

“I see”, Woerman mumbled, slowly lifting his right hand.

“Oh no.” The oldest of the young women could clearly see what was about to happen next. Some sort of freakish shit which everybody would regret afterwards.

“Is he really doing it?” Not even Rura could believe what she was seeing. He couldn’t be serious about it. Wanting to kill someone that precious for future fights! Woerman had to be dumber than dirt.

“Told'cha I can't stand ’im.”

“Would you please care for your language, Kahina? Only once in a while? Please?”, Rura almost exploded at what her friend had said. Well, not what – but how. The redhead just had a huge problem with this ghetto slang. Additionally: Kahina was a Captain in the Garrison, so she should be a shining example for her subordinates. In deeds and words.

“I’m rather interested in the proceedings of all that is happening now concerning Eren”, the tallest just stated, ignoring the outburst of her friend.

“Don’t think badly of me”, Woerman went on, now lifting his right arm. It was clear: This man had lost all sense of logic or opportunism. He just wanted to be a hero and eliminate an potential enemy. But that Eren probably wasn’t an enemy – Woerman didn’t even think that far.

“He’s not doing it”, Sinia mumbled – more like a prayer than something she really thought.

“That bastard.” Rura did not even realize she said that out loud.

“Promise, he’ll do it”, Kahina said, some sort of dark humor in her voice.

The next second cannon-fire was heard – and a huge explosion followed.

All the people started coughing at the dust and dirt in the air, except a few who had stepped back far enough to not get affected by the impact. Rura, Sinia and Kahina hadn’t thought of that and now stood in a cloud of dust.

“I do not want to appear like a know-it-all… but I told you he’d do it.”

“Yah… okay”, Sinia coughed, trying to spit out some dirt without anyone noticing. Rura did. And started to laugh. Loudly.

“You always act so decent, Sinia, but when nobody watches, you behave like a guttersnipe!”

“What! What did she do?!”, Kahina cried out – she didn’t see anything at all and that bugged her a lot. Especially since she had missed something that rare.

“Oh my! It’s alive!!”

“Oh nooo!”

“We’re going to die!!”

The three young women wondered why all of a sudden so many soldiers seemed to just lose their minds. What was going on inside this dust? Or outside of it, that is. They couldn’t see anything at all.

“Gosh, what’s happening?!” Rura cautiously stepped out of the thick, foggy and dirty dust and started to look around, as she suddenly stopped. Her jaw dropped open as she saw that huge Titan shaped thing. With seemingly very alive eyes. It almost looked like the Colossal Titan but without the legs.

“I can’t believe it! He managed to transform that fast! That’s fucking _brilliant_!”

“Rura just came in her pants”, Kahina dryly stated, causing Rura to almost choke on her own spit and coughing desperately.

“Shut up!”

“Don’t be rude”, Sinia commanded. “It’s your own fault to be so overly happy around Kahina.”

“Not that I don’t like happy people”, Kahina added, shrugging her shoulders. “But right now I’m gonna have a serious talk with Kitts.” With those words she went off to face the older man, who had definitely gotten partly insane.

Rura used that moment to check out Sinias clothes, which didn’t fit in at all, just like hers. The brunette wore a white blouse with laces and a very tidy brown skirt, reaching to her knees and fluttering around her legs while walking. Half the gear was hidden underneath the skirt, the rest was visible. It looked a bit strange, Rura had to admit, but nonetheless – Sinia had become one of the most skilled 3D-Maneuver-Gear users within the Walls.

“I don’t think it’s all too clever to make this guy any angrier”, the brunette slowly stated while her gaze followed her angry friend. She feared the situation would only escalate.

“Huh?” The youngest shot Sinia a look of confusion. “Why? It can’t get any worse.”

“It definitely can. I don’t get what she wants to achieve with this. It’s not like he’s going to change actions”, Sinia went on explaining her thoughts. Actually, she was quite sure Kahina hadn’t thought of anything right now. But the 26-year old wanted to make the best out of this situation – so she needed Ruras brain and help.

“And ?”

“We can use Kahinas urge to talk Woerman down to our advantage and get those three out of here. What do you think?”

“Sounds like a good plan. Any further considerations?” The redhead looked over to Eren, who really seemed a bit weak now. Mikasa stood in front of him and Armin, ready to pull off a fight if necessary. And all Rura could think about: _Where does Armin put his dick in those thight pants?_

“I thought maybe you could figure out the rest”, Sinia shyly grinned, watching Kahina taking huge steps towards Kitts. 

“So you leave the hard part to me?” But there was some sort of satisfaction in Ruras voice. She knew she was considered the brain of the three friends – and she was proud of it, for it was true. And that Sinia trusted her with such matters was a huge ego boost as well. Not that she’d need it, though.

“Yo Kitts, have a word with me.” Kahina stepped in front of the man, waving him towards her so he’d get away from his safe spot in the middle of his soldiers. She just hoped Sinia and Rura would think of something clever to make the situation better. Because she herself couldn’t think about anything, so she just did what she was good at. “Now.”

“I’m busy!”, Kitts just shouted, spit flying through the air. Kahina didn’t grimace at all, though she was a grossed out by that. “How did you get in anyway?! This is none of your business!”

“Is that so?” Crossing her arms, Kahina stood her ground. “I am a part of the Garrison just like you are. Why should Eren Jaeger not affect me? Why should he be your business and yours alone? You know, I always have to interfere.”

“You didn’t answer my question, kiddo!”

“I warn you, Kitts. Call me _kiddo_ again and you’ll regret it.” She narrowed her eyes. Nobody dared to underestimate her. Not that she was skilled or idolized like Levi Ackermann, but she was still a dangerous match.

“Great, they’re discussing like the idiots they are”, Rura mumbled and slowly made her way through the still existing dust towards Eren and Armin, ignoring Mikasa who’d only cause problems.

“Superb!” The oldest clapped into her delicate hands, happy things seemed to work out well. Rura had taken over the task to talk to the three rookies so they would come with the young women. “They cannot resist Ruras charm or logic – it’s going perfectly well.”

Rura realized that Mikasa had noticed her. Hastily she signified the black haired girl that she was no harm and hurried on to reach Armin. The dust made running rather hard – especially breathing in those tiny particles was irritating her nose and throat. “Hey, young Arlert.”

“Huh? Is that… are you Rura Ledoux?”, the blond slowly asked.

“You’ve got a good memory. Yes, it’s me. I’m here to get the three of you out of here”, Rura confirmed and glanced around. “There’s not much dust left, so we have to hurry.”

“And who’s going to distract all those soldiers?”, Armin asked, his blue eyes widening as he saw Ruras somehow creepy grin. He knew he’d seen her somewhere before! Of course, she was that medic who had a lot of fun treating the insanely wounded.

“Oh, my friend’s taking care of that. Don’t you worry about that. Just grab Eren and let’s get out of here”, the 22-year old suggested with her best Military-Police-Brigade-voice. 

“And who’s taking care of the distraction?”, Mikasa dared to ask.

“Don’t ask, Mikasa. Don’t think about it and don’t ask.”

“Do you think you can talk to me like that in front of my unit?”, Woerman bellowed at top of his sorry lungs, trying to frighten the young woman in front of him. She just raised an eyebrow in the most arrogant way.

“It’s not like I _have_ to make you look like a moron. You’re doing quite fine showing it yourself.” Sighing, she shook her head then turned to face most of the soldiers. “I invite you to not hear what Captain Woerman and I are going to discuss. If I hear anything of this getting talked about on the street, I’m going to make sure you won’t have a single happy day for the rest of your life.”

“Did you just threaten my soldiers?!”, Woerman screamed, cold sweat appearing on this forehead.

“See it as you like, it’s more like a friendly reminder that this is nothing for publicity”, she smiled brightly. “So, Kitts. Let’s cut the crap. You know killing Eren is the wrong decision. You’re just too much of a scaredy-cat to confess that you are an idiot. I ask you once and once only: Let Eren go. Otherwise I’m going to tell Commander Dot Pixis about your bad behavior. And you don’t want that to happen, do you?”

“Tell me what?”

“Oh shit, Dot Pixis.” The brunette gulped as she saw the Commander in Charge approaching, grabbing Kitts Woermans shoulder and pulling him a bit back. “Why is he here? That’s so not according to the plan!” Sinia decided it’d be best to warn Rura and the others who still thought that they were in deep trouble. So she retreated into the dust, hoping to find the four others as fast as possible. Today was so not okay for her. And even though there was some sort of noise around Sinia, she could clearly hear Dot Pixis talk.

“You’re free to speak, Captain Krylow.”

“Commander! I am aware this is something you-”

“You don’t have to worry about”, Woerman interrupted, his eyes growing even bigger. He seemed to understand in what kind of bad situation he was – and Sinia didn’t want it to end all too well for him.

“Ugh, just hold it, Woerman.”

Sinia could hear her friend literally sticking out her tongue in annoyance. A move Kahina only did in situations in which she was close to losing her self-control. “Rura! Rura, where are you?”

“Behind there”, Rura responded, listening carefully to Sinias steps. The youngest of the women thought about causing more dust and a worse sight, but it’d be quite risky.

“Where there?”

“There. Here.”

Sinia just rolled her eyes, trying to hear someone of those four breath or do anything. Maybe she’d find them that way. Only by two words and no sight – impossible.

“Commander, you have to excuse the young Captain, she has no sense for priorities at all”, the Garrison Captain moved on, trying to not get in Pixis’ focus of interest.

“Don’t I?”, Kahina snorted, not even thinking to salute to Dot Pixis since they had a friendship-kind-of relationship. “You seem to forget that I am considered one of the most efficient Captains of the Garrison, do you not?” With that shot towards Woerman, Kahina turned to face Pixis, not flinching at his grim face. “Commander, I’m quite sure this is something of interest for you. Captain Woerman wants to kill a soldier who can transform into a Titan. This is not such an clever idea. And I bet one of those who guard him can tell you why.” Because she was just too lazy and didn’t want all the praise for herself – she didn’t do all the work alone, so sharing was a must.

All five standing in the dust looked at each other in pure confusion. Why had she said this? She could’ve explained it herself – so why forcing someone else to do it?

“I think Armin should do it”, Rura suddenly said. She was standing at Erens side so he could lean onto her and not fall, Mikasa didn’t do so because then she wouldn’t be able to fight off foes. 

“But you’re so intelligent and he’ll hear you”, Armin shot back, his body already trembling with fear of something that might be happening. His blue eyes almost filled with tears. At least it seemed like that.

Sinia just sighed, running her fingers through her thick hair. _Why the hell is it so hard to talk to a superior? We do that every day and we don’t lack any fingers or eyes. Honestly._

“Armin… without you, Mikasa and I would be dead by now.” Eren looked up to face his best friend. “I trust you.”

“Me too”, Mikasa added, her voice warm and affectionate. 

Rura and Sinia exchanged an irritated glance, totally unimpressed by their friendship. It was all so fluffy and cheesy for them. Well, at least they liked each other. Not that Rura, Sina and Kahina didn’t, but they expressed that quite differently. That was why every friendship of others seemed a bit strange to them. Always a bit frightening.

“You’re outvoted”, Rura told Armin and smiled at him confidently. “You can do it. Step out of the dust and explain why Eren is so important.”


	6. To Tame A Crowd

_**You can't change the world alone - you will need some help (William H. McRaven)** _

“Is this serious? You have to offer yourself to the Titans as bait while Eren tries to put that giant boulder in front of the hole in the wall? As a Titan?”, Sinia asked as she walked with Kahina and Rura towards Wall Rose. The only soldier among those three just rolled her eyes and sighed annoyed.

“As soldier you don’t have much of a choice if your superiors make a decision. I mean, if I were Pixis, I definitely would go with what Armin has suggested. We do not have many other options at hand”, Kahina replied and fastened her gear. “You know you can’t help much now. Better leave now, I have a feeling this is going to be nasty.”

“You have feelings?”, Rura grinned but stopped as they came near the closed gate. “So they sealed off Trost for good now?”

“ _Fo sho_.”

“Stop that fucking slang!”

“I don’t mind it.” The oldest just smiled at Kahina, thinking that this kind of slang was actually quite funny and not at all annoying since the Krylow knew when to switch back to normal speech.

“Dare you stab me in the back!”, the redhead called out in sheer disbelief. How could Sinia side with Kahina in that matter? That slang was absolutely horrible!

“Weren’t you talking about how they sealed off Trost from the rest of our territory?”, Kahina suggested and pointed into the sky. “Ladies, I’m going to meet Pixis now. You better have a nice day.” Having said that, the Krylow used her 3D-Maneuver-Gear to climb the wall where some soldiers already stood, waiting for their Captain to join them.

\----

Looking at each other, Rura and Sinia raised their eyebrows. They still wore their gears, so it actually was an alternative to just follow Kahina to suss things out. Maybe their friend would need their help? 

“Do you think the same as I do?”, Sinia asked, her voice mischievous.

“To climb the wall?”, the younger replied, not all too convinced of that idea. Pixis would see them or someone else. And they were no soldiers anymore, so they shouldn’t even possess the gear, not to mention to mess with military things. No – that was not a well thought of plan.

“Eh – yes. Why do you look like I talk nonsense?”

“Because we better just listen as a slow start. You know, we can intervene how we like when we like. But first of all we should know what Pixis is planning. I don’t intend to destroy his plan because I thought it might be fun being a soldier for one day again.” Rura looked up to the wall, where Pixis appeared, with Eren Jaeger at his side. “Ah there, look. He’s getting started right away.”

Both young women sneaked into the rows of soldiers – rookies as well as experienced staff. Those people didn’t even realize there were two who had no reason to be there at all. Blame it on the tension of the moment or the fear of Titans, but it was to Ruras and Sinias advantage.

“Do you hear them?”, Sinia suddenly whispered.

“What?”

“Listen carefully… you can hear those guys doubts”, the older one said, her head bowed. “This is why we can never win against the Titans. They don’t have enough optimism for that.”

And just as her friend had said it, Rura heard the soldiers around her mumble and talk to each other.

“Retake Trost?!”

“That’s insane! We got no way to block the hole!”

“What are the Commanders thinking?”

“We’d just be throwing our lives away if we went back!”

_This can’t be_ , the Ledoux thought. _Why don’t they trust their superiors? What’s wrong with them?_ Her eyes grew bigger as she could almost sense the fear among the soldiers. Fear for their lives. If they were so afraid of death, then why had they chosen to join the Garrison at all?

“See? They have no will to fight”, Sinia murmured, slightly cocking her head towards Rura. “They don’t like taking risks.”

“And we do?”

“Oh no, but we left our branches for good. So we do not need to take risks. That’s the difference”, Sinia almost smiled, but then sighed. “And within those shaking hands lies our future. Do we really want that?”

“But you have to think about the fact that there are people like Kahina fighting for us. Her hands never shake”, Rura interposed and tried to catch a glimpse at her friend who was somewhere on the wall right now. _I wouldn’t trust any of those idiots_ , she suddenly thought. _But I’d trust you and Sinia with my life._

\----

“Commander Pixis! Sorry I’m late!”

“Ah, Krylow.” The Commander turned to face her, behind him standing Eren, Mikasa and huge-johnny-Armin. “Glad you could make it in time. How are you feeling?”

“With all due respect, but I don’t have time for feelings”, Kahina grinned and waved at Eren. “Yo, Jaeger, are you okay?”

“Ehm… I guess I’m fine”, Eren slowly replied, still feeling intimidated by her appearance. Not that he thought Kahina was somehow vicious or ugly, but he knew from Hannes that the young woman tended to talk quite brutally in battle. He didn’t want to experience that first hand.

“You guess? Well, what is it that you lack? Anger? Guts? Are you hungry?” She walked past Pixis – who just grinned to himself, taking a sip out of his flask – and stopped in front of the green eyed boy. “Tell me and I will make you feel good.”

Guessing from the looks Armin and Mikasa shot her, Kahina realized that this had not sounded like it should’ve. She sighed deeply, shaking her head. _Why is the youth that perverted?_ “Do you need any kind of encouragement?”

“Uhm... I don’t…”

“Did I stutter? Do you need anything? Food? Nice words? Are you able to fight like this? I don’t think so!” That sounded quite rude and Kahina was proud as all three teenagers almost winced at that.

“I have to be able to fight like this! It’s a war and the enemy does not care if we are prepared or not!”, Eren called out all of a sudden, saluting Kahina. “And you didn’t stutter, Captain Krylow!”

“Well spoken, Jaeger!” Kahina commended Eren while winking at him.

\----

“Not that hell again…” Rura heard that whisper, coming from a man to her right. Furrowing her brows, she halfway turned around to see who had said that. Judging from his lowered head and from the sweat dripping down his neck, she concluded it had to be the black haired guy quite close to her. He looked rather wasted and done for and pretty scared, to be honest. He seemed to be close to tears. Rura wondered what exactly was going on with him, if his fear could really be that immense. She narrowed her eyes at such a mollycoddled human being.

“I don’t want to die!!”

Now even Sinia shot the guy an irritated look. There weren’t any Titans in close range right now. They were behind the wall. Why did that guy panic like this right now?

“Let me see my family!!”, the man demanded screaming. Obviously he was sure he’d die fighting.

“Oh dear, can’t you say that a little bit less noisy?”, Rura wanted to know with her best annoyed voice. “It’s such a drag to have people like you in the Garrison.”

“Yeah, did you hear anything about ethics and fairness and – most of all – trust in your superiors?”, Sinia went on, shaking her head. “If you’re not willing to give all your life for the purpose to protect your family and all the other people, then why are you here?”

Silence followed their words as soldiers gaped at them in shock. Never had anyone told them how to behave in such a situation, when it was clear they would be fighting Titans soon.

“Or do you want to abandon the mission just for the fuck of it, so you can live?”, Rura asked.

“Damn right!”, the crying man shouted. “Suicide won’t accomplish anything!!”

_Well, he kind of has a point_ , Rura thought. But it was clear to her that she had to stop that stupid guy from demoralizing his fellow soldiers. For a second she considered leaving this place, after all she had not signed up for keeping the spirit up.

“And you think running away is the key?”, Sinia wanted to know.

“Forsaking your family like this won’t make it any better. If nobody fights because they’re all too scared to do so – who will protect you and your families, your beloved ones, then, hm? Who, I dare ask you, shall risk ones life to safe someone who is not willing to do the same for another?”

“Well, additionally your Captain is allowed to execute you for desertion, you know.” The brunette could imagine how someone superior to this huge crybaby would react: Kill the man before a riot starts. She’d probably do the same, honestly. Who would need anybody in the Garrison who gets scared that easily?

“It’s better than getting eaten by a Titan!! Just let me be!! Piss off! I don’t wanna go back there!”

“Rura?”

“Yes?” The redhead turned to face Sinia.

“Can’t you just sew _his_ annoying mouth shut?”

\----

Walking behind Pixis and Eren wasn’t her favorite thing to do, but it was definitely better than looking down into the city of Trost, because except for chaos and destruction there was not much left of it. Additionally to the many Titans strolling around, searching for prey.

“They say that before Titans took control of the land, men were endlessly fighting and killing each other over their differing loyalties and beliefs”, Pixis started to tell his favorite story; while doing so, he threw Eren a short glance.

_Ah, yes, but don’t they do that now as well?_ , Kahina thought, but didn’t even made the effort to let her face know that she thought about that topic.

“Back then, someone supposedly said: _If a powerful external enemy threatened mankind, humanity would probably unite and stop fighting among themselves._ What do you think about this?”

Kahina knew Pixis addressed Eren with that question, so she just looked down at the many soldiers standing in front of the wall, waiting for someone to tell them what was happening right now. She wondered how many of them thought about leaving, how many would give in to their fear.

“Such a fairytale exists?”, Eren asked without hesitation. “Sounds awfully optimistic.”

_Yeah, but such optimism keeps me fighting for brats like you,_ Kahina almost snorted. She knew that such assumptions about humanity congregating in peace were shit, but still. Even that lie was better than facing bitter facts.

“Frankly, it’s rather dull”, Eren went on. Kahina rolled her eyes. But Commander Pixis just laughed and halfway turned around while walking. “You’re just like me. Your opinion’s quite twisted.”

“That’s because even now, though we’re cornered by such a mighty foe, I would say that mankind’s far from being united.” Although he did not sound bored, something in his indifferent voice caused Kahina to pay more attention to the two in front of her – at least to their conversation.

“Yes, but if we don’t all come together soon, keeping up the fight might be too much for us.” As Dot Pixis said this, they approached some others of the Garrison who were already preparing cannons and the gear for the following task.

They went on without saying anything more, much to Kahinas relief. She wasn’t suited to just listen to conversations like that. Passing by Hannes, the Krylow could see how the older man first seemed glad to see that Eren was safe, but then again his face darkened with respect and fear as he saw Kahina walking behind his little friend. The young woman had to suppress a grin.

Pixis took out his flask and took another sip, then held it towards Eren. “Want some?”

_Oh, this is going to be hilarious,_ Kahina thought.

“I’ll gladly accept!”, Eren almost called out, grabbed the flask and took a big sip. The next second he spat out everything, clearing his throat loudly, his face a mask of pure disgust – causing Pixis to chuckle silently.

“Krylow, want some?”

“Commander, I don’t need alcohol to make you laugh”, she just grinned.

“That is why Krylow is still alive, Eren.”

“Why is that?”, Eren dared to ask.

“Because she gives no fuck about being humble or decent but does her job.”

\----

“Execute me if you want!!”

“If you want to die that badly, I’ll gladly do it!”, one of the rather stressed out Captains screamed, his hand already grasping the handle of his sword. It was trembling.

Rura and Sinia had stopped trying to calm the people down – the fear of dying was a too strong emotion to just talk it down. And they didn’t want to waste their breaths on such a vain endeavor.

Just then Sinia could see Pixis and Eren standing at the edge of the wall. Right behind Pixis stood someone else with long, flowing hair. That had to be Kahina.

“ATTENTION!!!”

“Uh, Pixis has quite a voice”, Rura stated, looking up to the Commander just like everybody else.

_Finally_ , Sinia thought, _finally some silence. Thank you so much, Pixis. Thank you._

“I will now brief you about the operation for retaking Trost! The goal of the operation is to block the shattered gate!”, Pixis shouted.

“Oh, what a surprise”, Sinia sarcastically said.

“Wasn’t that even the plan?”, Rura asked, her brows furrowed. All around the two young women soldiers looked up at Pixis in astonishment, they couldn’t believe what they were hearing. Maybe because it was now official? Because, all of that what Pixis just had said, had been rumors for a few hours.

“Block it? How?”, Marco, one of Erens comrades with black hair and freckles, asked quietly. To Sinia he seemed a bit too soft to be a soldier, but he’d made it this far, so he couldn’t be that bad. 

“As for the means of blocking it, I shall now introduce him! Eren Jaeger of the Cadets!”

Eren stepped a little further to the edge so everybody could see him clearly. He didn’t wear his jacket, just his gear, the white trousers and a grayish shirt. He saluted to the soldiers on the ground.

“Oh look, someone can’t believe his eyes”, Rura mumbled grinning, pointing at Jean Kirstein, a teenager who could probably become very hot after puberty. He had light brown hair, a toned physique and golden eyes, so these conditions clearly promised a lot. Right now he looked rather shocked and irritated.

“Ah, that’s Jean”, Sinia nodded. “I know him. He’s a bit annoying, but a good boy.”

“He’s the product of the military's top secret Titan transformation experiments!”, Pixis went on.

_He’s lying. Why is he lying?_ , Rura asked herself. _Is it because people would freak out if they knew that nobody knows why Eren can transform? That should be the reason, I guess._

“He can summon a Titan body and control it at will! He will transform into a Titan and pick up that giant boulder near the front gate, carry it to the breach in the wall and block off the hole with it!! Your mission is to protect him from the other Titans while he’s carrying the boulder!”

“Oh, this is glorious”, Rura mumbled. “These soldiers wouldn’t protect their own ass if it wasn’t theirs.”

“That’s mean”, the older woman said, but sighed because she knew that Rura was right.

“Pick up that boulder?”

“So mankind can control the Titans now?”

Some soldiers obviously mistook the given information, much to Ruras dislike. Mankind could definitely not control the Titans by now, maybe in a far away future, but not today. Why didn’t they come to think about the things said? Leading her to the conclusion that most of the soldiers did not even try to think for themselves.

“How can someone be that stupid?”, Sinia sighed at what she heard.

“That’s because you don’t have to be intelligent to be a simple soldier”, the redhead slowly said.

“You lie! I won’t throw away my life for such nonsense!!”

_Not again_ , Rura and Sinia thought, equally annoyed by the guy. He was the same who’d screamed around earlier. Why didn’t somebody shut him finally up?

“Who do you think we are? We’re not just disposable blades!”

“A human weapon?!”

“Of course it can’t be true!!”

“Damn those _liars_!!”

Calls of discontent filled the huge place quite quickly and Sinia wouldn’t wonder if a riot just broke loose. Most of the soldiers were devastated, beaten down and in no shape to fight. They had lost their will to protect and serve. Rioting against a suicide-mission was not unlikely in her opinion. But then again – if they did not fight, death still was inevitable, one way or another they would find their end. If they did not fight now, the Titans would break through the Wall, killing even more people.

“So you want us to die for you today? I’m leaving!” Another man just stated and started walking away.

_Finally_ , Rura thought, _finally someone just left. We don’t need those chickenshits as soldiers._

And suddenly many others followed. They just left, looked at each other, nodded and walked away together. So many, neither Sinia nor Rura could count them. What was going on? Did they not understand what was at stake? Wouldn’t they want to protect their families? Why was it so hard to decide to fight?

_“Are you prepared, deserters!!”_

“Oh, that was Woermann”, Rura stated, almost grinning. “Glad Kahina is on that wall. She would kick his shins for such unprofessional behavior.” 

“Why on earth is he still allowed to give orders after he wanted to kill Eren?”, Sinia asked and rolled with her brown eyes. “Who had that glorious idea, hm?”

“ _I’ll cut you all down here and now_!!”, Woermann screamed, probably just loosing control over himself. The young women weren’t that sure about it, maybe it was just his nature to appear like losing control. All the leaving soldiers stopped mid-movement, staring at the older man in fear and disbelief.

“ _Heed my command_!” Pixis voice echoed through the air, silencing every other person around. “Anyone who deserts now will go unpunished.”

“This translates into: _Fuck you, Woermann_ ”, Rura smiled.

Kitts Woermann turned around to look up to Pixis in quite a surprise. Since when did deserters were allowed to leave unpunished? It was treachery to the king! And treachery got punished with death!

“Once you’ve given in to the fear of the Titans, you will never be able to fight them again!”, Pixis called out his explanation. “Anyone who has succumbed to the terror of the Titans should leave! And anyone who wants that same terror to to reach the hearts of their brothers, parents and loved ones _may leave as well_!!”

“Well, _he_ can talk”, Sinia admitted and had a look around. Suddenly the soldiers seemed to understand that leaving this mission meant leaving their loved ones as well. Almost serving them on a plate to the Titans. The brunette didn’t want to be harsh in any way, but Rura had told them so a few minutes ago.

“And they just start thinking if someone superior talks to them”, the Ledoux sighed, almost having the same thoughts as Sinia. 

\----

_Oh for my butts sake, I’m so bored, what can I do?_ Kahina stood behind Dot Pixis, occasionally rolling her eyes or suppressing an unnerved sigh. Yeah, he had to talk to the soldiers so they would fight. But for fucks sake, that was why orders existed. One had to follow them! And if those poor-spirited beings chose to abandon their branch – may that be, but why on earth would Pixis want them to fight? They’d be the first ones to run, although one might think they’d keep fighting for their families or shit.

Behind her Armin and some others were discussing about how to operate that mission in the most intelligent way, with little to no casualties. She would rather be there, but Pixis had asked her to come with him. Maybe for the soldiers to see that besides a Titan-shifter they had someone strong with them.

_Is there nothing I can think about that is more interesting than this?_ She sighed. _Taxes – boring, clothes – even more so; food – not good enough now; the fucking king – quite not. But oh! Rura said something about that asshole. Something about marriage… oh, that’s interes-_


	7. TFW A Plan Works

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In order to close the gate of Trost, the three women have to split up. Each can - and has - to give their all to make things work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah me talking about shorter chapters... I kinda feel like I lied. There's more and more words and I cannot stooop I'm SORRY

“Let’s talk about what happened four years ago!”, Pixis shouted. “About the Wall Maria recapture operation. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you all. Calling it a _recapture operation_ was just sugarcoating it. It was merely a desperate attempt by the government to dispose of the unemployed refugees masses they couldn’t feed!”

_Ah yes,_ Kahina thought, _ye good ol’ jealousy of food. Kills humans ever since._

“Everybody swallowed that for one sole reason! By sending those people outside the wall, we managed to survive inside its narrow confines! That sin is borne by all mankind, including myself!”

_Oh, you definitely know how to make one feel good about being alive_ , the young Krylow thought, glad nobody was there to see her mocking expression.

“Conflict didn’t erupt then because the people of Wall Maria were a minority. But what about now? If Wall Rose falls, throwing away a fifth of mankind wouldn’t be enough! The area inside Wall Sina can only support half of mankind! If mankind itself falls, the onslaught of the Titans will not be the cause! We will fall because of men killing one another. We cannot die inside yet another wall. Given the choice, die here!” Pixis was done speaking.

At least Kahina hoped that as she saw Erens’ body almost shiver. Silently, she walked towards him, until she stood directly behind the young Jaeger. Time to shine as a good Captain. She wanted to encourage him now. “Eren. I do not know if you can control it. But you understand you have not much of a choice but becoming hope for those guys down there, don’t you? And I am here to help you with that, in any way possible. You are not alone in this.”

“Y-yes”, he murmured, not looking at her. But the slight nod he gave her was enough for Kahina.

_A good deed a day,_ she thought. _Done that. Wasn’t that hard, actually. Should try that more often._

“Since the Titans first emerged, not once has mankind won against them!”, Dot Pixis went on, much to Kahinas displeasure.

_Oh no, is he really going on? Pixis, please. Stop it._ But of course, Kahinas thoughts wouldn’t stop the Commander to finish his great and magnificent speech.

“The Titans keep marching forth and we keep retreating, letting them take our land! However, if this plan succeeds, it’ll be the first time we’ve ever reconquered land from the Titans! And in that moment, for the first time, mankind will triumph over the Titans! Compared to what’s been taken from us, it may be a small thing, but it will mean mankind has finally managed an _attack on the Titans_!”

\----

“Yo, Kahina, why are you down here again?”

“Pixis is introducing the others to their missions and I’m not keen on anything about that, neither distracting the Titans, nor protecting Eren. I’ll just go around and check on everybody”, Kahina said, sitting down on a case. “And the two of you? Didn’t I tell you to have a nice day?”

“Yeah, but honestly, who could have a nice day if Woermann is screaming around like a lunatic?”, Rura said and leaned against the wall of a house, looking at Sinia and Kahina. “A nice day is a day out with the two of you. Fighting Titans or not.”

“Oh my gosh, that is the nicest thing you have ever said!!”, Sinia called out, hugging Rura, smiling brightly.

“Did you forget that there will be fucking many Titans inside Trost? That this time it’s a bit different from saving the rookies in that chapel?”, Kahina mentioned, checking her nails. Then something occurred to her. “But hey, what about you do something more interesting?”

“What could that be? More interesting than finding out if Eren can transform and control his Titan-form or not?”, Rura asked rather sarcastically.

“Do you remember our sparerib-meeting before the Recon Corps left?”, the Krylow asked.

“Oh! Getting to know more about that marriage-shit, do you want us to do that?”, Sinia suddenly called out, clapping her hands. “Well – that is definitely interesting! Since it concerns Levi as well…”

“Some day I’m going to punch you hard in your face”, Rura promised.

“But it _is_ an idea. Sinia, would you go and check how that new law shall work? And Rura-” 

“I’ll stay here. I want to see how Pixis’ plan’s working out”, the Ledoux interposed, not willing to leave this place and miss out on the exciting things.

“Easy, that was actually what I wanted you to do.”

All three looked up as the bells began to toll, signalizing the start of the operation.

\----

It would be totally overacting to enter Wall Sina to find out about that law, that much was clear to Sinia. So she’d just search for someone who would know about that within this area here. In her opinion, these people would be the judges or barons. People who’d definitely gain something with that law, like money or future soldiers. Oh, how Sinia hated the system, and she did so fiercely.

After almost two hours the young Schütz finally approached the nearest district court and entered the old building, in which the air smelled stale and old, like they had opened the window last time ten years ago. She was afraid it was actually like that, as an old woman slowly waddled towards her. 

“Oh my dear”, the old woman greeted Sinia, taking her hand. “Are you lost, lovely?”

“Uhm… no”, Sinia replied, not quite sure what to think about the woman with gray hair and glasses. That she was still working! She seemed to be like a hundred years old, at least her hand felt like that. The skin was wrinkled and the joints of her crooked fingers were swollen.

“Are you searching for someone special?”

“Kind of”, the brunette answered, then smiled. “But where are my manners! My name is Sinia! Pleased to meet you.” She had remembered something Rura had used to say: _Make them trust you and they will tell you everything you want to know without questioning your curiosity._ And Sinia was going to do exactly that. Make that old woman trust her. Old people loved youngsters being interested in their work.

“I’m Orla Boyd. Who are you searching for?”

“Uhm.. Actually, I’m not searching for _someone_ , but for _something_.”

The old woman just smiled, showing many missing teeth, the remaining ones were rather yellow or brown and Sinia had to restrain herself from asking Orla to just close her mouth while smiling. And may never open it again. What an unpleasant sight. She managed to force a smile on her face as well.

“How can I help you, sweetheart?” Orla patted Sinias arm and lead her into a huge hall. This had to be the place where people were supposed to wait for a trial or something like that.

“Orla, I need your help”, Sinia started and wondered how she should convince the woman to tell her all about that crazy law, provided that Orla actually knew about it. “I heard there will be a law enforced concerning marriage an-”

“Yes, yes, dear. It is. Such a shame. As I was your age, we could marry whenever we wanted, what a shame the king is forcing those poor souls to marry on his demand”, Orla interrupted, again patting Sinias arm. “But worse, my child, that law does not only affect marriage, I have to tell. Say, darling, do you have a boyfriend?”

“No”, Sinia said, stretching the word unintentionally. She was surprised at how talkative Orla was. Why had she worried about that in the first place? This was easier than anything she had ever done. Maybe she was a natural? Should she try and get into professional spying?

“Darling, you’re so beautiful, I fear, my dear, many men will approach you and ask you to marry them! Do not do that. Shame on the king, next month that nasty law will be enforced, and he will get his will. That old fart really is a drag”, Orla went on, her voice suddenly not warm anymore but dripping with aversion.

_Wow, that granny is quite a tempered one_ , Sinia thought, but nodded as Orla looked at her. She just had to let the woman know she was still listening.

“He just wants to test his power. Sweetheart, do not accept any marriage proposal from anyone.”

“Actually, Orla, my friends and I were thinking about stopping that law from being enforced at all”, Sinia suddenly said – startled at her own words she felt her face heat up. What had she done? Telling that woman their plan! Well, the plan she just had made up. But the hell she’d do and marry because of such a shitty reason!

“Darling, that’s the spirit I want to sniff in my old days”, Orla smiled, again showing her missing teeth. 

“But, I don’t know how. You know, there is absolutely no chance me or one of my friends are able to talk to the king”, the young Schütz went on.

“Ah, young Sinia, darling, sit down. I’ll get us some tea and we’ll think about something witty, won’t we, sweetheart?”

“Uh, yeah… I guess.” With that, Sinia sat down into an old but comfy armchair, watching Orla leaving into a smaller room. _Well,_ she thought, _seems like I’m going to jail for that if someone finds out._

\----

Rura did not hurry, not at all. There was no need to do so. Much rather she had a look at everything that happened around and in Trost right now, such as the many soldiers trying to divert the Titans attention away from Eren towards them. They did so by hanging halfway down the wall using their gear, so that the Titans could not reach them. Ruras eyes searched the town for remaining Titans. Sure, there were some, but most of them had been lured into that corner. Cannons were aiming at them from where Rura was walking.

_That is not very dangerous_ , Rura thought, _so why did everybody just lose it two hours ago?_ There had to be a reason for the people totally going crazy at the thought of dying for their family. Maybe they were afraid that their gear did not work properly and they would fall down – either breaking every bone in their bodies doing so or getting eaten by the Titans.

The redhead gazed over to where Eren had to be right now, somewhere near that boulder. He was protected by Rico, Ian Dietrich and Mitabi Jarnach, as well as Mikasa. Skilled and fearless soldiers. But they were still not quite as strong as Kahina was, Rura was sure of that. She’d seen her friend train sometimes and the Ledoux had been startled every time again at how agile her friend could move if she wanted to.

Rura just hoped that Eren knew that – even though it was not that hard to distract the Titans – many would die today. For him. For this operation. Not only the young Jaeger would have to deal with that knowledge but Dot Pixis and Kahina as well.

_Gosh, I’m glad I quit that shit._ She looked into the bright blue sky and took a deep breath. _If I close my eyes I don’t see I’m caged. But I do not want to befool myself. I want true freedom._ As Rura opened her eyes again, she turned to see the safe inner ring of Wall Rose. _I wonder what Sinia is doing. If someone is able to give her any useful information? I hope so. We could use a bit of luck right now._

Suddenly, a greenish lighting struck down, blinding Ruras sight for a few seconds. _So he managed to at least transform now._

She decided to go and seek for someone who could tell her how things went without actually getting caught up here.

\----

She was a bit too late and Kahina was painfully aware of that. She should’ve started running after she’d seen the green smoke which indicated the start of the operation. But of course she just had to find that left behind chocolate shop. With its doors wide open. Who could’ve resisted that temptation? Definitely not her. And it only had been five minutes of stuffing the sweet sin into her mouth, putting some for Rura and Sinia into her small pocket, although she knew both would not want the chocolate if they knew where it was from. But, _what they don’t know won’t hurt them_ , so they’d eat.

Then she had seen the red flare emerging into the sky and she just knew, not only the mission had failed, but something else, worse, had happened.

Now she stood on a roof, looking at a rather disastrous scene. Eren – still as a Titan – sat on the ground, his hands and face smashed and emitting smoke, not recovering like which was unusual for a Titan. That was not how the plan looked like. _Great, now I have to find Rico or Ian so they can tell me why this failed. It was bulletproof. Kind of. I want an explanation. Now._

Still, there were no other Titans in the area, which was at least something good.

“What should we do?!”

“Well, Ian, at first you should stop losing your nerves”, Kahina said as she approached the quartet. They were standing on a roof close to Eren, discussing the further procedure. “And then I want an explanation.”

“And why are you here?”, Mitabi, a tall guy with brown hair and loyal to the bone, wanted to know, his voice cold and chilly. It was clear he didn’t like Kahina. “It’s not like you were chosen to protect Eren.”

“Maybe I should’ve, then this wouldn’t have happened. How did he slam his face?”

“He tried to kill Mikasa”, Ian answered, slowly calming down.

“And what did Mikasa do in his face, may I ask?”, the Krylow went on.

“She wanted to…”

“Okay, _not_ interesting. Since all of you seem to be a bit overworked with that, I have an idea. Mikasa, you fight the Titans which want to approach Eren in a close up area. Ian, Mitabi and Rico – the three of you care about the other Titans that could get interested in our knocked-out buddy-Titan.”

“And you?”

“Me?”

“Yes, you, Captain Krylow”, Mitabi hissed. “You always try to avoid fighting. It’s not like you’re a hero or something like that so you could behave like you do.”

“Mitabi, stop hatin’ and get workin’. I’ll help Mikasa here. We cannot afford losing faith in Eren just now. He is the only one that can at least try to retake Trost and give humanity some hope back. Hope we really need right now, don’t we?”

”Great words for somebody like you”, Mitabi retorted but did not move an inch. “But you are not in charge. Ian is. So we do what he says and not what you-”

”That's right! The Commander has put me in charge of this operation!”, Ian suddenly called out, causing Rico and Mitabi to flinch at the volume of his voice. “And just like the Commander has put his faith into my skills, I put my trust in Krylow's words. Like she says, we cannot abandon Jaeger now. We will change the cause of our operation. We will protect Eren until we can get him out of here. To achieve that, we will go with Krylow's plan.”

”You must be out of your mind!”, Rico blurted out, taking half a step forward. “Already hundreds have given their lives to make this operation happen and you just want to get this abomination out of here and do the whole thing again? How many are you willing to sacrifice?!”

Before Ian could answer to that, Kahina stepped in front of him, glaring at Rico. “Time is an issue here, you see. I understand your trouble comprehending as to why Eren is so important to us, but trust me, he is. Now, if you please, do something useful. Just like I will.” Thunderous footsteps suddenly echoed over the place and not a second after them, the face of a huge Titan appeared between two houses. “Just like I will do now. After I'm done with this Titan, I want to see results. No more discussing. Do you understand me?” But Kahina did not wait for an answer from the smaller woman, she already headed towards the nasty Titan close to them.

\----

“Thank you, Orla, that tea is splendid”, Sinia said and took a second sip of the hot beverage. The soft and flowery scent was truly refreshing.

“It is, isn’t it? I’ve got it from my grandparents. And they got it from their grandparents”, Orla smiled and Sinias eyes grew big as she heard that. How old was that shit? “Oh, no worry, darling, no worry. That tea gets better by age, just like me.” The granny bellowed with laughter, took a sip from her own cup and ate a small cookie. “I tell you, this tea is as expensive as half the city of Trost. Would there be anyone left to acknowledge that. It’s called Panda Dung Tea – not because it’s made of panda shit, but the crops were fertilized with it.”

“You know a lot of things.”

“I’m old enough to do so”, Orla snarled, then giggled. “So, sweetheart, we wanted to have a chat about how to show that fart of king that nobody can command the feelings of humans.”

“Y-yes”, Sinia agreed, still in awe about how beautifully Orla had put it. _Nobody can command the feelings of humans_. That sounded awesome.

“Do you have any ideas how to accomplish that?”

“Not really. That’s something we didn’t think about right now, because I… I just wanted to know how and when this law is enforced. But since you’re so eager to help – and I appreciate it a lot – we might just think about something together.” She took a sip of the tea. Fuck if there was panda poop in it. Whatever the hell panda were. It tasted great and why reject it because of its origins?

“Darling, do you know any weighty persons?”

“Uhm… that’s a good question. You mean personally, right? Like, friends?”

“Right, sweetie, right. Friends. Do you have influential friends?” Orla ate another cookie, offering them to Sinia, who gladly took three. She needed the sweets now. Influential friends – where the heck would she have them from? She wouldn’t even count her father as friend in that matter. And her father was the only weighty person she knew.

“I’m afraid I don’t…”

“Well, don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m sure you know someone. Do you know any Lord or Baron?”

“No…”

“Any judge?”

“Not really…” Leaving her father aside, none.

“Any high ranking soldier, like a Commander?” Orla went on, completely unaffected by the many _No's_ Sinia had given her. That old lady sure had a cheerful nature.

“Commander you say?”

“Yes, Sinia.”

“Oh dear gracious! I know one!” She was so excited she put a whole cookie into her mouth, chewing it enthusiastically while staring at Orla, who just smiled her toothy smile. “What about it?”

“That Commander may talk to the king and make a deal, if you know what I mean”, the old woman grinned.

“You mean… like a sacrifice for everybody else?”, the brunette asked.

“Put it as you like – but the result would be the same: Instead of thousands of forced marriages there would be only one. And it doesn’t have to be the Commander who has to marry. He just needs to find the right words to convince the king.”

“Orla, did I already tell you that you are the most clever granny ever?!”

“Darlin’, I know. Otherwise I hadn’t realized you’re kind-hearted and a good girl. And what makes a day better for a granny but to help a young girl in need?”

\----

“What is happening there?”

“Rura! What are you doing here?” Kahina looked up as her friend approached them, a stern look on her face. “Did something happen?”

“Yeah, Kahina, I saw the red smoke and I followed Armin, that happened”, Rura replied, finally standing at Kahinas side. She looked at her friend, raising her eyebrows. “You do realize what’s going on down there?”

“Huh? There? Yeah. Armin is sitting on Erens’ neck, shouting at him. He’s his best friend, so why not?”

Both women shot a look at the blond boy who had one of his swords rammed into Erens’ neck, calling out the name of the other boy who was stuck inside that Titan-body.

_Armin better has a plan_ , Rura thought, _elseway this is so going to end nasty._

“And where are the others? There were people, you know, like four people, who had the mission to _protect_ Eren. Is he... having a smashed face and no hands anymore?”, Rura suddenly asked. She just remembered that there was almost a whole squad ordered to protect the boy.

“Yah, right.”

“Ho-” Rura stopped, looking at Kahina. The taller just shook her head. _What the fuck happened here?_ , the redhead wondered, but didn’t ask. “Where’s Ian?”

“Probably fighting. I don’t really know.”

“Are you quite all right? Shouldn’t you help Armin with retrieving Eren?”

“Yes, I’m okay. At least I don’t have to do much now but to take care that Mikasa doesn’t die in the meantime.” Kahina furrowed her eyebrows, then sighed. “You’re right, I may should help Armin. But you know… he’ll do it. I trust him. He’s a brain like you.” She stopped, then pulled something out of her pocket. “Want some chocolate?”

“Oh, thanks”, Rura replied, taking the sweet treat and followed Kahinas gaze to the damping, injured Titan who was Eren. It was absolutely surreal that a human being could transform into a Titan. But it had happened. What a crazy world. “That’s delicious. Where did you get that from?”

“Hmm, not that important.” Gulping down the chocolate, Kahina glanced over to her friend. “You know what? You're right. We don’t really have time for that since we have to fight Titans for now. It is our duty to protect Armin and Eren right now. You see these three behind there? These are mine. The two tall ones with the ugly faces? You can have them. They suit you.”

“Fuck you, Kahina. Honestly.” With that, Rura made her way towards the ugly Titans, to make sure Armin had enough time to talk Eren out of his beauty-sleep.

Rura just landed on a roof, in front of her a smaller Titan fell onto its knees before finally dying. Brushing sweat off her forehead, she glanced over to Kahina, who seemed to have some fun playing tag with a tall and a small Titan. The doctor shook her head. _When will she ever learn that Titans aren’t toys but monsters?_ , she wondered.

At that moment an overwhelming Titan-scream filled the air, sending shock waves around – almost throwing the redhead off the roof. With a shriek Rura fastened herself with her gear, darting over to where the scream came from. It sounded dark, energetic and most of all familiar.

“Eren...”, she whispered as she saw the injured Titan stand up again. His head and hands were covered with smoke – clearly healing. “Eren you’re healing yourself!!” She felt some sort of relief, but didn’t know where it came from. _Maybe I feel hope again._

“Woha, some tight shit happening over there!”, Kahina blurted out, suddenly standing at her friends side. “Seems like Armin did a perfect job. Now we don’t have to abandon Eren anymore.”

“That little guy really is impressive.”

“Mhm”, the copper haired woman nodded.

“Wait – where are the Titans you just fought?”

“Dead. Heard that roar and thought it might wouldn’t hurt to check it out.”

_Does Kahina even know what kind of skills she has? She can kill two Titans within a few seconds, not having any trouble with that._ “Well… now this is a positive turn.”

“I’ma not quite sure about that”, the Krylow suddenly said, turning around. “Rico! Mitabi! Report! How did your fights turn out? Where’s Ian?”

“Ian’s… we saw him fighting against three Titans – 12-meter classes, just three blocks away from here. There was no chance”, Mitabi said while gasping for air. “I’m sorry…”

“You’re wounded!”, Rura called out, pointing at blood dripping from Mitabis left hand. “How did it happen?”

“I…”

“Mitabi fled from the Titans coming from the gate and couldn't evade a sharp piece of wood”, Rico explained. Suddenly her face almost hardened. “Eren’s alive?”

“Rura, you care for these two. And after that, you’ll go and see if you can help Mikasa with killing the Titans around Eren. I’ll go check if Ian’s okay!” _I trust you, Rura. Please don’t let these two die. We can’t lose more people to these fucking shitheads of Titans._

“No, don’t! It’s too dangerous!!”, Mitabi shouted, but the Krylow was already on her way, leaving awhirled dust behind.

“There’s nothing too dangerous for her”, Rura sighed, then turned to face Mitabi. “Now, let’s treat your arm.”

\----

“Hey Connie!”

“S-s-sinia?” The teenagers’ eyes widened as he saw the brunette appearing at his side, wearing a brown skirt and pretty shoes, her hair open. “What… what are you doing here?”

Raising her eyebrows, the Schütz looked behind herself, where the dead body of a Titan started to vaporize into hot air. The city all around was a pure mess now. “Guess I’ll help out with that.”

“But… you’re no soldier anymore?”, he slowly said, realizing she wore a gear. Also, she just had killed that Titan which had been about to grab for him.

“I may ain’t a soldier anymore – but right now I give zero fucks about that. This is a mess. Also, it seems that the tactic with luring them away from Eren is not working anymore.”

“You sound like Captain Krylow”, Annie suddenly said, staring at Sinia. That brunette seemed to be quite a tough one as soon as her friends weren’t around.

“Yah, maybe”, Sinia stated, staring down. “Wait – who’s that? He looks like Jean.”

“It is. Jean!” Connie called out. “Jean! There’s a Titan behind you!!”

“Aren’t you going to help him?”, Sinia politely asked. “You know what? I’ll do. You get onto the Wall! Go! Both of you!” _I have to find my strengh. I have to tell Rura and Kahina about what Orla’s told me. I have to help them. I’m not just cute and smart. I can fight. I’ll protect my comrades!_ With these thoughts she hurried towards the teenager, who seemed to have trouble with his gear, now that she was closer.

Just as she was about to attack the Titan, Jean decided to run from it, turning around a corner so Sinias assault went without result. With a grunt she landed on a roof, spotting Jean fumbling around on the gear of a dead comrade. _Is his broken? How can that be?_ The Titan was coming closer to Jean, throwing its dark shadow over the teenager. Just as Sinia was about to start another go, somebody else crossed her way, black hair and freckles was all she saw. 

“Jean, calm down!”, Marco called out, trying to lead the Titan into another direction.

“Marco, what are you doing?!” Jean turned around to see his friend disappear between two houses.

_Yes, what are you doing?_ Sinia almost sighed, but had to admit she admired Marcos’ boldness. With a swift move she changed her way, waving at Jean, then followed the Titan and Marco. 

“Jeez, what a drag!!”

_This is Connie!_ Looking around, the Schütz saw all the friends of Jean and Marco running over the roofs to save the Kirschtein. _I’m so proud!_

“All right, guys!”, she shouted while jumping up so everybody could see her. “Connie, you help Jean get his gear working! The others: Follow me to get rid of the nasty Titans around!”

“Roger Squad Leader Schütz!!”

\----

“WAAHHHH-!!”

“Damn you fucking piece of shit!!” She slashed the neck open with such force her swords almost broke, cutting through the hot flesh of the Titan which just wanted to feed on some newbie who wanted to help Eren.

“AAAAaaahh!!”

“You’re alive, fucking _leave_ this place!”, Kahina ordered, panting heavily. She still was angry at Rico and Mitabi to just leave Ian behind. She’d found him still fighting, defending himself. She’d killed off the three Titans in an instant – due to Ian they hadn’t noticed her. The soldier had survived but it seemed everybody was eager to die to protect the Eren-Titan.

“Kahina, you okay?” Appearing on a roof over her friend, Rura glanced down, checking if anybody else was in trouble.

“Yes. Thanks!”

“HEEELP!!”

“Kahina!! It’s Mitabi again!! Two houses left of you! Five meter class!”, Rura shouted, having a quick look around. “And a girl, on the right side!! Two ten meter classes!”

“Fuck”, the Krylow almost groaned, then looked up to Rura. “You handle the girl, I’ll go save Mitabi! I’ll take care of the whole left! If it’s too much, search for someone to help you clean the right side!!”

“Roger! Let’s fuck them up!!”

Only a few minutes later they met again on a roof, staring at what was happening in front of their eyes. Eren-Titan was carrying the huge boulder on his shoulders towards the gate. His whole body was damping, emitting a sickening heat. In front of his feet Mikasa and Armin were leading his way. All around him soldiers tried to lure other Titans away, so they would not attack Eren.

”You know what, if I had known my life would suck like that, I would have just strangled myself with my umbilical cord in my mothers womb”, Rura softly said, staring at the mess in the town. Body parts everywhere, blood-stained streets and gut-wrenching screams caused her to doubt she was at the right place at that moment.

”Lucky me, then, that you had no idea back in your mothers womb”, Kahina stated, then grinned at Rura. “I don't know about you, but winning a game of tag has always been my favorite past-time.”

Rolling her eyes at that, Rura followed her friend down onto the streets. Time to do something useful.

And just while Rura killed a Titan she suddenly saw Kahina storming towards one that had Ian in its mouth. It seemed like he had rescued somebody from the Titan and now was in danger himself.

Screaming, Kahina shot her hooks into the hands of the Titan, pulled them down while she jumped up. With all too much clarity she saw the jaw of the Titan closing, Ian caught in between its teeth, his face painted with mortal dread, eyes wide and mouth agape he stared at her, petrified.

And then she was close to the Titans throat, with a grunt she dashed forward, nearer to Ian – the next moment she grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the almost closed mouth. While falling, she clutched his body with her legs and managed to shoot the hooks into the roof of a close building, causing them to crash into it.

”Oh my god! Kahina!” Rura ran towards her friend who was panting heavily, sitting at Ians' side. The man was stupefied, in deep shock, staring onto his shoes. Then she noticed all the blood on his clothes and the roof, red stains all over Kahinas clothes and face.

”I was too late”, the young Krylow mumbled and got up onto her feet. Her gaze lingered on Ian. “Fuck.”

Kneeling at his side, Rura took off her belt and strung it around what was left of Ians left arm. Blood was spluttering out of it, dripping onto her bare hands and her legs, its metallic scent bit into her nostrils. “He will survive. Go on, Kahina. You gotta help the others.”

Throwing her friend a doubting glance, Kahina bit her lower lip, then her gaze wandered towards Eren-Titan. That was when a sudden shockwave hauled her off her feet, causing Rura to wrap her arms around Ian in an attempt to protect him. The next second dust and small stones rained down onto them.

It was just after Sinia and the others had made it to safety onto the wall as they heard it. The thunderous sound of a rock hitting the ground. Looking at the others, Sinia allowed the faintest of smiles to appear on her face. She knew what had happened, without even looking. “The hole got closed, guys.” 


	8. Who Says Court Can't Be Fun

_**True friends stab you in the front. (Oscar Wilde)** _

“It’s court-day! Hell yeah!”

“Kahina, don’t be so happy! This is a serious matter!”, Rura reminded the other woman and sighed when there was no help in sight. Sinia – her only moral supporter – was now sitting in court, preparing the files for Commander-in-Chief Darius Zackly and suffering from the bore the last day had been.

After the return of the Recon Corps, Trost had been taken back from the Titans – a first success. But clearly not for Sinia or Rura. Both had to give away their 3D-Maneuver-Gear to never use it again since they weren’t soldiers anymore. And Kahina; though she had helped with cleaning up Trost, burned the dead and added names to the lists of injured or deceased; had gotten the worst adhortatory letter because of her unacceptable amount of hubris and the way she had commanded everybody how she liked just to get what she wanted.

This last day hadn’t been the most glorious for the three. But they at least had worked out a plan to get the Maneuver-Gears back – Rura had thought about it and Kahina was all in as well as Sinia.

“So serious. You know, Zackly wouldn't let such a weapon be killed just for the fuck of it”, Kahina retorted and ran towards the court. A huge throng was outside the main entrance, but Rura and Kahina were allowed to use a side door to get in. They were witnesses at all.

“I know…” The young Ledoux shook her head, then saw her reflection in one of the many windows of the huge building they were about to enter. She checked herself out and was quite satisfied with what she had managed to do this morning to look like a human being. Since she had left the Military Police she did not have to wear their uniform anymore to such occasions, so the young medic had decided to wear a nice dress. It was green like the coat of the Recon Corps and it reached down to her knees, whirling around her legs in the slight breeze. Her curly red hair was open and glistened like a burning sunset in the light. She rather looked like a young and married middle-class woman instead of the hard working doctor she was.

“Stop looking at you, it frustrates me.”

“Just because you have to wear your uniform?” Rura raised her eyebrows. “I invite you to tell me why you are even wearing anything underneath that jacket. That thing you're wearing is a joke.”

“Well, they only told me to wear my jacket and my uniform. This is what I usually wear in summer”, Kahina grinned and looked into the window herself. She’d put her copper hair into a messy fishbone braid, under her Garrison-Jacket there was only a small black cami top and instead of the white long trousers she wore white shorts. Short shorts. But still she had put on the high brown boots of the Garrison. It looked rather slutty and that was exactly how she wanted it. Dress code her ass.

“Yeah. In summer.” Rura rolled her eyes, opening the side door to enter the building. Kahina jumped in right after her, closing the heavy door noisily. “Can you please try to be decent?”

\----

“So, young lady, I heard you are a friend of Eren Jaeger?” Darius Zackly leaned back in his big, comfortable chair and folded his hands in his lap, staring at Sinia who had brought him some tea and files. The best were the cookies she had put onto the tray.

“Ehm…” Sinia didn’t know how to respond. She wasn’t a real friend, she just happened to know him and since she and her friends had tried to protect him from getting shot by a cannon ball, they were considered friends. “I wouldn’t put it that way.”

“That’s interesting.” He took a cookie, bit into it and chewed slowly. Unnervingly slowly. “I heard you were helping him. Isn’t that what friends do? Help each other?” His stare was almost unbearable sharp and calculating.

Sinia shivered under those eyes. And honestly, she couldn’t think about anything to say. Because everything would indicate that either she did it out of loyalty or friendship or because she had nothing else to do. The more she was surprised as she heard herself saying: “I have a hero-complex.”

“Do you? My subordinates told me something else.” He sipped at his tea.

“I don’t think they studied psychology”, was all Sinia could respond without cursing. That man was a pain in the ass, asking all this stuff and not taking shit from anybody. Why did he know so much about her? It wasn’t like she was accused of anything – Eren was! “I saw the chance to shine and did my best to do so.”

“But your friend, that Krylow, she had a lot more audience than you did. I heard she killed more Titans than some of the Recon Corps did.”

“You know a lot of things about that incident, Supreme Commander, don’t you?”, she shot back, not fearing any consequence – he’d asked for that outburst.

“It is my job to do so. So, why did you help him? It’s not like he’s your relative or anything, Miss Schütz.” Another cookie disappeared within the dark cave his mouth was.

“Alright, I will tell you why I helped. It is the only reason and it’s not deniable.” The 26-year old built herself up in front of one of the mightiest men alive and cleared her throat. “It was the only right thing to do. Anything else would have been treachery to humanity.” She stared into his brown eyes, not blinking, not going back on what she’d said. Even if she accused Woerman of attempted treachery. She would just take on the consequences of her opinion if there were any.

\----

Kahina and Rura had separated places in court – much to their disapproval. Now they couldn’t even talk to each other if the hearing happened to be boring in any way.

Rura had been placed with the Military Police, at Nile Doks’ side, feeling a bit unwanted there since she had left this corrupt organization a few years ago. Why somebody had thought it clever to put her there – she could not picture it at all.

Just at the other side of the room Kahina was standing, on the left side of Erwin Smith. He looked stern and kind of optimistic, something Rura liked about that guy. He never lost control. And on Erwins’ right was Levi. Why did this man always look so hot despite his cold eyes?

“Miss Ledoux, nice to see you again.”

“Commander Nile... yes, it's always nice to see me”, Rura slowly answered, checking his face. It hadn’t changed at all. A small beard – Kahina used to call these wanna-be-beards _facial-junk-hair_ – and this undercut that just didn’t fit him at all. She didn’t really want to talk to him.

“How are you doing? I heard you’ve become a good medic.” Without a smile this sentence was like venom to Rura. Also, he had ignored her well placed verbal side blow.

“You’ve heard right, then.” _Do not ask anything_ , she thought to herself. _Do not ask anything at all, you do not want to talk to dickface._

“I remember you as more talkative”, he continued. “I get the feeling it has something to do with your new job and the kind of people you hang around lately.” He shot her a warning glance, letting her know he had someone watching her every step.

_That bastard_ , Rura growled inside and clenched her fists.

\----

_Oh dear, this is the worst_ , Kahina thought at that moment, trying not to look over to Erwin, which was quite hard since he was such a captivating presence. She tried to distract herself by watching Rura and Nile talking and guessing what they were saying, but she wasn’t a gifted lip reader so everything looked like: _I want to pork as my jigglewiggle; you better pole on that bear-gear_ – she just gave up on that.

“Hello, Captain Krylow.”

_Please, let a sudden aneurysm strike me down!_ Kahina feared for her life. She felt so bad for bitching about the Recon Corps a few days ago she would never want to meet Erwin again. And now? Now she was caught at his side, in a place where she had to behave, in a place where it was not possible for her to run from him. “Commander Smith.” She only nodded slightly.

“Do you know where Sinia is?”, Erwin asked and looked down on that female Captain. He was sure of it: This had to be the most rude person on earth, she didn’t even make the attempt to look into his face at their greeting. He was not used to such dismissive behavior and he thought it irritating. He had not done anything to offend her or to deserve that sort of treatment.

“Huh? Sinia? O’course I do. She’s with Supreme Commander-Ehh” _I forgot his name. Fuck._

“His name is Darius Zackly”, Levi interrupted with his cold voice, letting her know what a moron she was.

“Ooh, thank you Mister know-it-all”, Kahina aped silently, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, she’s with him. Preparing this trial and serving tea and shi- stuff.”

At that moment the main door to the room opened and Eren was brought in.

\----

“Eren – what have they done to you?” Rura looked at the 15-year old boy whose eyes were swollen and red. He was dressed in gray ragged clothes, without any shoes on his feet – he didn’t look all too healthy as well.

“They are _us_ ”, Nile dared to inform her.

“I know. But I don’t belong to you anymore”, the redhead shot back. “I can say whatever I want.”

“So, can you?” The Commander of the Military Police eyed the woman at his side cautiously. She had gained a bit of weight – which made her even more desirable. Rura had the looks of a healthy and curvy woman, not of a slim and muscular girl. She was different and that made her somehow… sexy? Nile stopped at that thought and tried to not look all too confused. Did he just think about this traitorous young woman as a sexy being?

“Of course.”

Now two guys from the Police forced Eren to kneel down and then chained him onto the ground. Without even blinking with some sort of remorse. That was what Rura got going, all this cruelty and mean things without feeling bad. This had been the main reason for her to leave the Police.

\----

“Did you just call me Mister know-it-all?”, Levi asked, his voice dangerously low.

“I think you have a problem with your ears”, Kahina retorted immediately, staring at him with a provocative expression. What the hell did Rura see in him? Honestly. He was even smaller than Kahina, about Ruras size. Kahina chomped down guys like him for breakfast.

“You just made a huge mistake”, the black haired Captain murmured, glaring at her, his gray eyes merely angry slits.

“Can’t the two of you just behave?”, Erwin asked, his eyes set fix on Eren.

_I didn’t even try to_ , Kahina confessed to herself, then looked up at the tribune. Sinia came through a door higher up, holding it open and Supreme Commander Darius Zackly entered the courtroom. He put his trenchcoat onto the huge shelf and sat down, waving Sinia at his side to write the protocol. The brunette just nodded and took a seat at Darius’ left side.

“Now then, let us begin.” Zackly initialized the trial. He put on his glasses, glancing over his papers towards Eren. “You are Eren Jaeger, right? You’re a soldier who vowed to devote his life to the king. Is that correct?”

Sinia wrote without hesitation and in a little panic – she hadn’t known that this would be her part and now she was quite in a hurry to write every word which was said.

“Yes, Sir”, Eren said, sweat appeared on his forehead and still kneeling.

“This is an exceptional case. It is outside the bounds of common law, therefore we have to convene a special court-martial. The final decision will be handed down by me. We will deliberate upon whether you live or die as well.”

Sinia looked over to Zackly, then to Eren, who seemed to feel a bit uneasy but nothing more. _I would’ve vomited like right now_ , the young Schütz thought. So Eren did a good job down there.

“Do you have any objections?”, Zackly asked with his deep and enchanting voice.

“None, Sir.” Eren bowed his head a bit.

Kahina smiled softly, leaning onto the handrail and thought that Eren did do very well.

Vice versa, Rura had the urge to punch Nile in his stupid face but she was way too caught in the trial to even try it. She had a lot of respect for Eren to not cry there, in the middle of the room, being watched by over 50 people. And knowing at almost everybody thought him being a monster.

“I’m glad you’re so cooperative. Let me say this straightforwardly. Concealing your existence has proven impossible. Unless we publicize your existence in some way, we will have to face another threat besides the Titans. This court is tasked with deciding which force will take custody of you, the Military Police or the Recon Corps.” He took a look around, focusing especially on Rura Ledoux – who had definitely the potential to start a riot within no time – and Kahina Krylow, that young Captain who was hot tempered and known as totally undisturbed by others misery. “First, let us hear the proposition from the Police.”

“I am Nile Dok, Chief of the Military Police”, the black haired guy at Ruras side started, looking at Zackly. Rura rolled her eyes, obviously annoyed by this person. To have nicer thoughts, she glanced over to Levi, who had his arms crossed in front of his toned chest, his eyes narrowed – he was clearly concentrating on the situation. Which she probably should be doing as well, Rura thought.

“Our proposition is as follows: We will examine Erens’ body thoroughly, then dispose of him as soon as possible. It’s a fact that his Titan power repelled the last attack. However, his character induces disturbances that may even lead to a rebellion. Therefore he should provide us with as much intelligence as possible, then he’ll become a martyr for mankind.”

“Is that it?”, Rura whispered, suppressing a giggle. “You think _he_ can cause a rebellion?”

“Did you say something, Ledoux?!”, Nile asked as Zackly didn’t rebuke Rura for her comment.

“Yes, I asked you if you really believe Eren can start a rebellion. Because he isn’t the guy who’d do that. He has sworn his heart to the king”, she explained loud enough for everybody to hear, sounding self-opinionated.

“That doesn’t mean anything!”

“So you say that it’s worth nothing if we offer our hearts with our salute?”, Kahina called over, since Rura couldn’t ask that question, obviously. “That our loyalty is nothing but a worthless lie?”

“No… that’s not what I…”, Nile stuttered, taken aback by her words and especially their meaning.

Sinia wrote on, smiling. She had disliked Nile from the very beginning and seeing him now being torn apart between Rura and Kahina really made her day.

“This is _exactly_ what you were trying to say, Nile”, Rura went on. “Because the salute doesn’t mean anything to you.”

“Miss Ledoux, Captain Krylow – that is enough for now”, Zackly suddenly said, leaning back in his chair. They had proven that they were very capable to even outmaneuver someone like Nile, who was actually quite good with words. _Impressive_ , Zackly thought to himself. _Those two, together with Sinia as the virtuecrat – they could change a lot of things given the right political position_. “Next, let us hear the proposition from the Recon Corps.”

“Yes, Sir”, Erwin answered right away, standing at attention. “I am Commander Erwin Smith, head of the Thirteenth Battalion of the Recon Corps. Our proposition is as follows: We will accept Eren as a formal member of the Recon Corps and recapture Wall Maria by using his Titan power. That is all.”

_What?_ , Rura thought. _That is all? Nobody will get what you’re saying._

“Is that it?”, Zackly wanted to know.

“Yes. Using his abilities, we can retake Wall Maria.”

_Oh, clever boy! By making him asking questions, the Recon Corps will be way more interesting for Zackly than the Police. Uh-hu, you are a clever boy._ Rura grinned.

“I believe the priorities are clearly apparent”, Erwin went on.

“I see.” The Supreme Commander turned fully towards Erwin. “By the way, from where do you intend to launch that operation?”

Sinias hand hurt. She didn't want to write anything anymore. It was enough. Sighing she laid down her pen and stretched her fingers.

“Miss Schütz, what are you doing?”, Zackly asked before Erwin could answer the anterior question. “Did I order you to take a break?”

“No, Sir. No, you didn’t.”

“So why are you taking one?”

“Are you serious?”, Kahina blurted out at the harsh tone of Zackly. “Those five seconds relaxing her hand will change _everything_ in this court and it will be Sinias’ fault if anything happens that’s not according to plan.” Sarcasm dripped from each and every word as she glared at the man who had dared to criticize her friend.

“Kahina, just shut up”, Rura called out, her aqua eyes fulgurated with anger.

“Can’t you grant her just a second to breathe? She has to write every damn word down that’s said.” The young woman almost jumped over the handrail to start a real fight with Rura – they hadn’t had one in a while and it’d be fun to argue with their fists again. But just as she was about to lift her leg, something held her back. Something warm that was able to grab her neck. Painfully. She arched her back to see who could that be and as she turned her head, Kahina could see – Erwin.

“You know it’s not like that! But she has a job to do just like we do”, Rura almost got into a fuss about that, glaring at the copper haired woman. The redhead was glad Erwin understood the situation and held Kahina back, but she just had to add that.

“Sir, to be honest, my hand hurt and I wanted to move my fingers, then write on. It shouldn’t be a break”, Sinia tried to interfere and rescue the situation. “Please, I’m capable to write on.”

“You have some loyal friends there”, Zackly just stated, then stared at Pixis. “Pixis, I believe the gate at Trost was sealed for good.”

“Yeah, it’ll probably never be opened again”, Dot Pixis said, not giving a damn about one of his Captains causing ruckus whilst trial. He did not even give her too much attention – since she had been put at Erwins' side, he was not responsible for her. So why bother.

“We would like to start from Calanes in the east. We will approach Shiganshina on a new route”, Erwin explained, not letting go of Kahinas neck. Seemed like he didn’t trust her.

“Great plan, now let go of me”, the young woman nagged and struggled to shake off Erwins warm and firm hand. But it wouldn’t work, so she just kept on wiggling.

“We should seal the gate for good!”, a merchant suddenly shouted.

“Yeah, the Colossal Titan can only destroy the gates! We are safe if they are closed forever!”

“You blasphemous, money-driven chancer!!”, someone from the Church of the Walls called out and jumped up from his seat. “How can you think about abandoning one of the holy Walls?!” His head go all red which looked funny in contrast to his blond hair.

“You talk a lot, pig.” Levi didn’t move, but everyone could hear that one single sentence.

Ruras jaw dropped in shock and admiration as she stared at the hot Captain. He dared a lot, talking like this in court – in front of the Supreme Commander!

“Who says the Titans will wait until you can lock up all the gates? When you say _we_ , are you referring to your little friends you plan to get fat with? Can’t you even see that people are starving because we don’t have enough land?”, Levi went on, totally talking those merchants into ground with his calm yet smashing speech.

_Oh my gosh, Levi, how can someone like you even exist?_ , Rura wondered and took a deep breath. _No time for romantic thoughts! I have to stay focused._

“Noo.. we only suggest… we’d be safe if we sealed the-”

“Enough of your insolence!”, Pastor Nick – one of those frantic priests – screamed, with his dark eyes widened in shock he looked a little bit psychotic.

Sinia had a lot to do, writing everything down. To her it seemed after her small incident everything had become worse. More to write, faster to write – too many people talking. What a terrible situation.

“Silence!” Zackly clapped his small wooden hammer onto his desk a few times until nobody spoke again. He didn’t seem to be amused by all those guys who thought it’d be good to let everybody know what they were thinking about that matter. “Argue about your individual beliefs and opinions somewhere else.” He turned again to face Eren. “Jaeger, let me ask you this: Can you keep fighting for the sake of mankind as a soldier, and also use your Titan power for the same goal?”

“Yes, Sir!”, Eren called out eagerly.

“Oh? But in the report from Trost it says: He swung his fist at Mikasa Ackerman right after becoming a Titan”, he read aloud, then shooting Eren an interested glance. The boy seemed startled by that information, his green eyes widened.

_He can’t remember? He did? Oh Eren, why are you such a problem child?_ , Rura thought.

“Erwin, enough is enough. My neck hurts! Let go of me!”

Everyone stared at the young woman who was still held by Erwins left hand. The blond Commander wasn’t really affected by that outburst, he did not even bother to look at the squirming person to his left.

“Erwin, if you are that drawn to Captain Krylow, I ask you to take her home with you. But after court. This is not the place for cuddling”, Nile said, his voice dripping with smug gree.

“Cuddling? Does this look like fucking _cuddling_ to you? It’s more like neck-rape!”, Kahina called out, her face all red with anger. “And I definitely don’t want your help!”

“So you can go and beat up your friend?”, Erwin asked, not even looking at her.

“Right now I want to beat _you_ up!”

His grip loosened a bit. Finally.

“You know, Erwin, rage sex is something great”, Nile said, a disgusting grin drawn on his face. That earned him a bitchslap from Rura which came so fast he didn’t even see her lifting her hand.

“This is _not_ of interest now!”, Rura almost lost her voice by the anger she felt.

“That is right. Therefore I am going to ignore what you just did”, Zackly said, leaning back. “So, Mikasa Ackerman, are you here?”


	9. That Point In Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After court is over, Rura and Sinia get an offer of which they do not know how to respond to. They cannot ask anybody for advice and that fact only makes it worse.

Not even five minutes later it wasn’t silent as expected after Mikasas questioning, but people were shouting and screaming at the young beauty, accusing her of being a Titan and protecting Eren. Accusing Mikasa being a Titan because Eren tried to protect her. It was quite confusing which they wanted to be the truth or if people just went totally crazy in this room. 

“We should kill her too, I’m sure she’s a monster! Just to be sure!”, one of the merchants said.

“ _WAIT_! Maybe I am a monster, but she has nothing to do with that!”, Eren screamed, rattling with his chains, trying to break free and protect his friends – his body was trembling with pure despair and wrath. “Nothing at all!”

“As if we could believe you!” - “It’s a fact!!” - “You’re defending her? She must be one of you!” So many shouted at once.

“Oh dear, this is escalating way too fast”, Rura mumbled, wondering why Zackly didn’t interfere in any way. One look at Sinia – the brunette was clearly swamped by all the things said and screamed. It was too much. Even for Sinia, who tried to stay calm through all that chaos.

“NO!!” Now Eren almost managed to break his chains. Kahina would’ve loved to cheer him up, but pouted instead, thinking about Niles words. “You’re wrong. You keep using mere speculation just to make the water flow your way. First off, you’ve never even seen a Titan.” Eren stopped for just a second. That second was enough for Rura to figure that he had realized that it wasn’t very brilliant to talk like that. “So why are you so afraid? If those with strength don’t fight, then who will? If you’re too scared to fight for your own lives, then at least don’t hinder me! You cowards! _Just shut up and let me shoulder it all!_ ”

A second of shocked silence followed that outburst – but Nile had prepared for such a moment, shouted “Ready!” and one of his soldiers pointed his gun at Eren. Who just came to think that a bullet in the head would be lethal as well. 

The very next moment Levis’ knee hit Erens’ face – so hard, a tooth broke out and fell onto the floor. The boy spat blood.

“Levi?” Rura couldn’t believe her eyes, seeing the Captain beating up the chained young man, kicking him in the stomach, the face, the side of his torso… It was horrible. Until she heard someone – namely Kahina, still held by Erwin – calling out to Rura. “What is it, Kahina?”

_“You kicked him in a room full of fifty people, with an attitude huge as a steeple. You really hurt my pretty face, that behavior is a fucking disgrace._ ”

“Kahina!” Rura almost lost her senses at this ridiculous poem her friend tried to improvise onto the situation. It was so not funny. Disrespectful and inappropriate.

But Sinia, who’d heard it as well, couldn’t hold back a chuckle. It was quite nice for her now, Levi beating up Eren – for two minutes now – and he didn’t make a sound, except some noises of pain and disbelieve. Sinia had her break, even though she pitied Eren a lot. Levi wasn’t very gentle when it came to the use of his knee. He kicked and stomped and kicked. Blood was everywhere on his boot and in Erens face. At last Levi had his foot on the back of Erens head, having the younger bowed down, kissing the dirty floor.

“It’s just my personal opinion, but pain is the best tool for discipline.”

“Oh my gosh, you planned all that!”, Kahina whispered in awe. “You’re such a _brain_ , Erwin!”

This comment got the Commander off guard – and Erwin risked a glance at Kahina, who didn’t look at him but at Levi and Eren. She’d called him a brain. She thought he was intelligent. Would that be a compliment? Erwin doubted that. But it seemed she was able to be nice. Somehow.

“You don’t need to be educated by words, you need to be trained like a dog. You’ve fallen low enough that you’re easy to kick around, anyway.” After saying this, Levi started to kick Eren again. And again. And again.

“Levi – why are you so rude?” Rura watched the scene in front of her with growing sorrow. This wasn’t happening, right? But all those noises proved her wrong. She gulped down some of the feelings that wanted to break free from her inside – it’d worsen everything right now.

Even Sinia couldn’t enjoy her break anymore. What was that psycho doing? That poor boy was halfway dead already! Sinia was sure Levi hadn’t thought about that long enough. Maybe he was sexually frustrated? He could just ask Rura – the brunette was sure her friend wouldn’t mind help Levi to relax. Looking around she saw that everyone in the room was sorely shocked, nobody could believe what was going on. But Erwin looked chill, like he didn’t give a fuck; just like Kahina seemed to be rather fascinated instead of being enraged. And Sinia understood: This was made up. A very good play to get Eren into the Recon Corps.

“Hold on, Levi…”, Nile finally asked, reaching out to help the boy.

“What?”, the Captain asked, holding Erens face up with is foot. Otherwise the 15-year old would’ve just crouched down again.

“It’s dangerous”, Nile said ominously. “What if he starts raging and turns into a Titan?”

_Oh, and he would,_ Rura thought. _The look on Erens face is berserk at least. He’d kill you, Levi. He would kill you right away_. A single look towards Mikasa and Armin told Rura that the girl would kill Levi right now as well – wouldn’t there be Armin, holding her back.

What a terrible, enriching chaos.

\----

“I’ll have those fucking strangulation-marks on my neck for forever. I swear to you, if they’re still there tomorrow, I’m so going to strangle his fucking dick until it rots and falls off!”

Rura and Sinia watched Kahina who was walking from one end of the aisle to the other, almost running. There were definitely no strangulation-marks on her neck, but Rura knew there was no sense in telling her friend so. It had something to do with principles. And hurt pride. 

“Isn’t it a bit harsh to castrate Erwin for restraining you from doing something inherently stupid?”, Sinia slowly suggested – prepared to get into a wild fight with Kahina about that topic.

“Wasn’t it a bit humiliating of Erwin to treat me like an untamed animal in there, in front of everyone?”

“This was because you behaved like one, Captain Krylow.”

_Oh dear gracious_ , Sinia thought, _why does he have to pass by us right now?_ She took a deep breath in and tried to calm herself down. This was going to be stressful enough. Adding Erwin to the conversation was like adding fuel to the fire.

“Oh, you’re very good at talking big, I get that!”, Kahina shot back. “But it still gives you no right or permission to touch me like that!” She narrowed her eyes, trying to stay calm. 

Erwin didn’t say anything at all, just stared at the angry woman in front of him. She showed no respect at all. Sinia and Rura at least had the presence of mind to do a quick salute, even though they were no soldiers anymore. He was the Commander and he could demand respect on his arrival. How on earth was Sinia able to spend her time with this troublemaker? But Erwin knew that his little friend had a generous and big heart – even for the ones who did not deserve being with her.

“Kahina, please salute to him”, Rura suddenly whispered, clearly understanding the situation. This wasn’t about finding words or a battle of sarcasm. This was a parade of power – and Erwin had the highest rank and therefore the right to demand a salute from everybody. 

Kahina had no intention to salute to Commander Smith, so she didn’t move. He was a Commander, all right, and maybe he was kind of hot, yeah, and probably he could kill the three young women within the blink of an eye, okay, but that didn’t mean she had to salute him. But still, there were rules to follow. And she had to obey to them since she was a soldier. After all, she wanted others to follow her orders as well.

So she slowly stood straight and saluted. Rura and Sinia let out a small sigh, glad their friend was not a complete retard.

“I don’t do the salute because I respect you”, Kahina said, her voice stern. “But because I’m a soldier and you are my superior and the orders force me to do so.”

_I’m so going to punch her for that_ , Sinia thought. _Why is she trying to make Erwin angry? He didn’t do anything at all! He isn’t in any way endangering her safety or ours or_ – Sinia stopped, slowly looking at Kahina. _This cannot be._

“Captain Krylow, I expect you in my office the day after tomorrow. If you happen to be _indisposed_ , make sure to be prepared for an official visit.” Having said this, Erwin went on going through the aisle, maybe meeting with Levi and his other friends. And Eren.

“You sometimes behave like a pile of shit”, Rura commented, cracking her knuckles. “So – Eren’s now part of the Recon Corps. What do we do now?”

“I don’t know about you, but I have to go home”, the brunette stated, looking down.

“Trouble with your dad?”, Kahina asked, her voice suddenly softer and warmer. “You can stay with me overnight, if you want. I got some tasty tea!”

“No, it’s okay. He has to learn that I’m not such a douche like his subordinates. That I am not a subordinate, I’m his daughter and I make my own decisions.”

“All right. Are you still in for tomorrow?” Rura glanced at her friends who looked at her with furtive grins. And the young woman had to admit that she loved those two – the shy and sly Sinia, as well as the chaotic Kahina. Both had their wrongs and rights and Rura couldn’t imagine a life without them. Although they were able to totally destroy a day.

“Of course. We meet at the corner by Ruras place, right?”, Kahina replied, taking a deep breath. Thinking about tomorrow just led to think about the day after tomorrow. Which led to think about Erwin. Why on earth would he want to meet her in his office?

“Yep. And you’ll bring your gear?”

“Duh! Sure. Okay, I need some rest now. See you tomorrow at twilight.” With that, Kahina left her two friends alone, somehow escaping to her home.

“Do you think she will remember that Erwin ordered her to his office?”, Sinia slowly asked, looking at Rura as both went down the aisle. They were going to meet up with Levi and the others – without Kahina, on Erwins demand. Which wasn’t a surprise at all.

“She’ll definitely forget.” Rura furrowed her brows. “Do you know why Erwin wants us to meet him and the others?”

“I have no idea. Hopefully it won’t take long. This day is a drag since I woke up.”

“Same here.” Rura opened the door and came in to see as Erwin shook Erens hand. The boy looked rather confused – and daunted, as Levi sat down at his side.

“Ah, Rura, Sinia. Nice to see you here.” Erwin stood up and went towards the two young women. “I can see, you followed my request.” He nodded his approval and led them into the room. “Please, have a seat.”

Both sat down, closely watching the others in the room. There were Mike Zacharias and Hanji Zoe. Levi sat at Erens side on the other couch, his legs crossed.

“Uhm… may I know why we are here?”, Sinia finally asked as nobody made an attempt to talk to them. She had to admit that around Erwin she felt okay and safe and welcome, but around all the other members of the Recon Corps she felt lost and like a child – every killed Titan had been a case of luck or did just happen with Kahinas help.

“Of course. I hope you won’t mind me excluding Captain Krylow from that, but I have my reasons. The both of you are here because I want you to join the Recon Corps. Since you left the branch you’d chosen after graduating, I can recruit you.” Erwin surveyed Sinia and Rura as both shot each other a careful glance.

Sure enough they had to think about that offer, about the advantages and disadvantages and everything else. But they would be a great win for the Recon Corps – Rura with her witty understanding of situations and her intelligence, and Sinia with her bright heart and her ability to encourage people to fight for the good. Or, how Sinia used to put it lately: _For the fuck of it_. Erwin was sure she did not learn that kind of language from her father. 

“You want us to… what?!” 

“Join the Recon Corps.” He didn’t hesitate to say it again.

“Why us?”, Sinia asked. “We don’t have the practice or skill to kill Titans! We don’t know how to work in teams! I didn’t even make it into the Military Police!”

“Sinia, I don’t want you in the Recon Corps for your skill with the swords. I want you in the Recon Corps because you raise morality and optimism. And I want Rura for her brains. I think you’d make a good assistant for Hanji, she needs somebody who does not only see the bad in Titans. Also, you’re a medic. It can’t get any better”, the Commander explained, his hands folded behind his back.

“Great…”, Sinia whispered.

“Do you understand why we quit being soldiers?”, Rura asked. “Because we don’t want to see any Titans at all ever again.”

“And still you were the first to run and help as they broke through the gate in Trost.”

“That was… well…” Now Rura found it hard to explain herself. How should she tell him that she had done so only to protect her friends without indicating that she didn’t care for so many others? Not that they did not matter to her; they just mattered less than Kahina or Sinia. There was no way to make that sound honorable or not shitty.

“We just chose to fight because Kahina was there, protecting the city and people, risking her own life. Wouldn’t she be a Captain within the Garrison – I wouldn’t have helped at all”, Sinia suddenly said, her eyes shining with tears. “I know this sounds awful and disgusting and it feels like that, but I hate the way Titans devour humans and I don’t want to see that ever again. But it’s even more terrible to know my friends are in danger. So I help them fight.”

“That was quite a speech”, Levi sighed. “Now that this matter is settled – I guess you both will join the Recon Corps either way...” He looked at Eren. “Say, brat, do you hate me?” 

“Uhm… no, Captain Levi. I understand you had to do it in order to … so I could join the Recon Corps”, Eren mumbled, still a bit afraid of the older man.

“Glad to hear”, Levi muttered, turning his head in the most sexy way. At least for Rura. 

She was so glad it had all been fake and just an act to get Eren into the Recon Corps.

“You could’ve at least held back a little”, Hanji retorted. Major Hanji Zoe was probably in her thirties, just like Erwin and Levi, with chestnut hear and brown eyes which were partly hidden behind her glasses. A person Rura could look up to with her brains and curiosity for everything. “You even broke his tooth.” Hanji pulled out a handkerchief and held it towards Levi – embedded in it was Erens tooth. “Look.”

“Don’t pick that up. It’s disgusting.” Levi avoided looking at that tooth with blood on it. 

_Yeah, look at it,_ Sinia thought, _you brutal being, beating Eren up like that! Plan or not – that must’ve been painful!_

“It’s an important sample for me”, Hanji explained, crouching down in front of Eren.

“Eren, I bet you’re glad you won’t be dissected by freaks like her, huh?” Saying this, Levi shot the boy an almost friendly look out of his icy gray eyes.

“Don’t put me in the same league as them”, the researcher demanded, but with a warm and soft voice – not even in the slightest defensive. “I wouldn’t kill Eren.” Then she turned to face Eren. “Hey, may I see the inside of your mouth?!”

“I do not quite know why we still sit here”, Sinia whispered into Ruras ear, carefully watching the scene.

“Don’t have an idea, either”, the redhead admitted, trying to not devour Levi with her eyes. That was the reason she tried to avoid him – he was just kind of irresistible. Just then Eren opened his mouth, a bit unwillingly, but he didn’t dare to disagree. Eagerly Hanji bent forward to have a better look. There she made a surprised sound, causing everybody to look at her. Even Levi.

“His tooth… already grew back.”

\----

Rura and Sinia strolled through the streets, thinking about everything that had happened after the trial. Mostly about the fact that Erwin wanted them in the Recon Corps and the fact that Eren was just able to transform into a Titan. Into the Titan-buddy who’d helped them rescue some of the newbies.

“Hey, Rura, do you think we’ll survive within the Recon Corps?”

“I don’t think Erwin wants us to actually fight, more for things like encouragement and research. But I’m not sure I want to join them. I like my life as it is now. Except for the walls and those stupid merchants and that stuff”, the redhead carefully replied. She understood that this conversation would decide whether or not both did answer Erwins request positively. “What about you? Would you join them? You have a secured job, after all.”

“I honestly do not know…”, Sinia said and looked into the clear blue sky, watching birds flying around over them, chirping loud enough for the women to hear them. “What is secure in comparison to freedom? Is it really better just because it’s safe? Is freedom better – filled with dangers and insecurities? Is it worth fighting for something like that? Is it worth dying so we can say we are free? Can we really defeat all the Titans? I wish I would.. but don’t know.”

“So you’re not going to join the Recon Corps?” Rura had almost expected this. It was different from just helping out with fighting Titans for a day. Joining this military force would mean to fight them constantly, being in danger all the time, seeing Titans devour ones comrades all the time.

Exactly these were the things Rura and Sinia never wanted to see again. To experience those feelings, most of all sadness and anger, representing the inability to actually win against the Titans; these were the worst, even after a long time. Pictures could possibly fade away at some point in time, but feelings would never become less or vanish at all. They tended to return whenever possible.


	10. A Night Out

_**Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. (Mark Twain)** _

“You wanted to talk to me?”

“Yes. I hope you don’t mind.” Sinia sat down to face Erwin and folded her hands in her lap. Not only had she thought about that matter for a long time, she hadn’t told Rura or Kahina as well. Just in case anyone got curious later. It had been a hard decision, but it was necessary.

“Of course I don’t”, Erwin replied, closely watching one of his best friends. He had no idea why she was here but it had to be something serious, otherwise she wouldn’t be that nervous. It was obvious she did not visit him for a little chat. “But first of all: How are you?”

“Me? I’m… quite fine, thanks. How about you? I mean, you really have had some hard days.”

“I’m glad the fighting’s over for a few days – hopefully”, the Commander said honestly. “How’s your father?”

“Don’t mention him, please. He still thinks I should never have left Wall Sina in the first place”, Sinia sighed. “Erwin, listen, I don’t have much time and as much as I enjoy chatting and hanging around in your nice office with you – I have some serious business to talk about.”

“What kind of business?” Now Erwin was interested. Not that he wasn’t interested in Sinias’ life and how she was and everything – but they didn’t have any serious issues in a long time to talk about.

“I need you to talk to the king.”

“What?” _Is she drunk? Did Rura give her some medication she does not tolerate?_

“Listen, Erwin, I won't ask for more, but talk to the king. It is because of the new law which will be enforced within the next month. Do you know about it? Probably not. The king wants every man over the age of twenty-seven to marry and beget children. Those who do not bow to that law will get punished. I can’t let the king command the feelings of people”, Sinia said, looking into Erwins azure eyes. His thick eyebrows furrowed as he followed her words.

“Where did you hear about that?”

“Ruras’ father told her. He is a close friend to the kings’ advisors”, the brunette explained.

“So. That’s interesting. And why shall I talk to the king?”

“Well, you’re definitely older than twenty-seven and – wait, how old are you?”

“You don’t know that?”

“Well… that’s awkward, but no. Over thirty?”

“Thirty-five”, Erwin sighed and shook his head. “Yes, I am older than twenty-seven. Go on.”

“Yes, well.” _He’s that old? My, never thought that…_ “Maybe you can convince him to agree to a deal. Like, one important guy over twenty-seven marries, but in exchange, the law will never be enforced.”

\----

Kahina stood at the corner of Ruras house, waiting for her friends to join her. It was past seven, therefore way past twilight, and neither Rura nor Sinia had shown up. The young Krylow had a look at her wristwatch again and sighed. If nobody would turn up soon, she’d just go home again and maybe polish her gear. Or read a bit.

“I feel so sorry for her”, Sinia mumbled, staring out of the window to have a proper look at Kahina, who had been standing at the corner for almost two hours now, not moving an inch. “Can’t we just explain to her why we don’t need to steal the gear anymore?”

“No. Or do you want to tell her that we’re going to join the Recon Corps without her?”, Rura answered, clearly feeling compassion for her lonely friend. But it was obvious: Once they joined the Recon Corps they’d get their own gear again – so why now steal one? Where was the sense in possessing two?

“Eh – no.” The oldest shook her head eagerly. There was no way Rura could force her to tell Kahina that they’d leave her within the walls to explore the outside world with other people. No way. It would hurt both sides too much. “Rather not…”

“Okay, so what are we going to do with our free time? Want to go to a pub?”

“To a pub? Really?”

“I know a good one.” Rura winked at her friend, trying to convince her that way. It had been quite a long time since they’d been out for a bit of fun with others – so why not do that tonight? Even though the Ledoux pitied Kahina for leaving her behind. But some things couldn’t be changed at all, and such a thing was the situation in which they were right now. 

Sinia sighed, then nodded. “All right. But you pay.”

\----

Now it was almost half past nine in the evening and Kahina got the feeling that she’d been abandoned by her best friends. They could’ve just told her because then she wouldn’t have been standing here for hours now. While developing a slight anger she made her way back home. Once opened the door, she threw her gear into the next best corner, her jacket followed straight after that.

“ _Ugaday, kogo brosili_?” Lighting some candles in the house, Kahina looked around, then sighed. “No, I ain’t hungry. Not that anybody was asking, right?” Still, the house seemed dark and she had to fight the urge to scream out her frustration. Stupid habits of her. Talking with empty rooms and reflections.

Slowly she went into the kitchen and helped herself to a cup of warm milk with honey, which she drank without sitting down. She didn’t even feel bad for not stealing the gears as planned – Kahina felt terrible because now she could concentrate on the person she would have to visit tomorrow. Just the thought about the Commander made her shiver. Why on earth had she wanted to provoke him? He had not done anything to anger, ever. Except grabbing her neck, but she had to admit that that had been her own fault. So why did she react that edgy to his presence?

A sudden knock on her door made her jump, causing her to breathe heavily. _Oh my, what kind of retarded chickenshit am I?!,_ she thought angrily, going to the door. “On my way!”

Opening the door, she furrowed her brows. “You?”

“Good evening, Krylow.” Dot Pixis entered her house without asking for permission and waited until she’d closed the door again. “Obviously you are surprised to see me here.”

“I am. Please, have a seat.” Kahina led him into her small kitchen, gesturing towards the only chair. She was not sure whether to be glad or worried by that visitor. What was his reason? Why did he show up that late?

“Thank you, but no. I rather stand. Once seated it takes a while to get up again. I’m an old man, you have to know”, he grinned and took a sip of his flask. Then his face darkened. “Actually the matter is quite serious and I am here to tell you personally.”

“What matter?”, she dared to ask, her eyes narrowing. Something was wrong here. This didn’t feel like a visit Pixis had planned or thought of properly. He never did such stuff.

“Recently I had some complaints about you in the Garrison”, Pixis started and eyed Kahinas reactions. “The soldiers feel intimidated by the way you talk to them. But they acknowledge your skill and wits, so they didn’t ask you to behave in another way.”

“And?” This had to be some sort of prank. Why should someone complain about her? All the members of her unit had survived every Titan attack! At the places she fought less people died! Didn’t that count in any way? Talking sweet wouldn’t help whilst fighting! “Shall I give classes about how to deal with sharp words, or what?”

“See, this is the matter. They do not want to have to deal with sharp words anymore. They want you to _leave_ the Garrison”, Pixis said. He wanted to see some reaction, something he could use to keep her within the Garrison. Anything, really. But she just kept staring at him, then smiled the faintest of all smiles. It looked cruelly unaffected and cold. 

“Is that so?”

“Yes, and only an apology from you can change their mind.” The older Commander was surprised that he felt some kind of loss as he realized that she wouldn’t do anything like that. Making apologies for something that worked seemed senseless, to him as well. Pixis knew he would lose one of his best fighters right now. 

“Dot, I am really glad I came to get to know you, that you trained me and tried to make me a better person. But I will never apologize to those who owe me a _Thanks_ ”, Kahina finally said, walking him to the door again in the most subtle way. “You may leave now.”

And Dot Pixis did exactly that. Leaving Kahinas’ house, without taking her uniform and gear. She would need it one day again, he knew.

As she closed the door behind him, Kahina stared at the wavy grain of the wood for a long while, still holding onto her warm mug. She thought she would cry, but her eyes stayed dry and all that she felt was some sort of numb emptiness and deception.

\----

Sinia had put on some better clothes and waited for Ruras' arrival at the pub. She felt like a traitor because she’d left Kahina alone at home and she had the urge to get so terribly drunk she wouldn’t remember the next day. That was her hope and plan. People were passing her, entering the pub, greeting her – but Sinia was way too deep in her thoughts to realize that.

“Hey, Sinia! Nice outfit! Let’s go get in.” Rura appeared at her friends side, shoving her inside the pub. The redhead had changed into a pair of blue trousers and a white shirt, while Sinia wore a black dress with colorful dots on it. “Try not to look like you just accidentally killed a kitten, okay?”

“I can’t. This is just so unfair”, Sinia complained, but sat down where Rura showed her to.

“You won’t feel that way after we drank a few shots”, the younger promised and made her way to the bar to fetch some drinks.

While Rura was out of sight, Sinia leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. What a dreadful day – what a sad evening on top of that. She wasn’t the type to not invite friends. And doing this on purpose was even worse. Not that she didn’t enjoy being out with Rura. But deliberately just being out with Rura, leaving Kahina behind almost made her sick. What if the Krylow found out about that? Sinia didn’t even want to imagine the consequences.

“Hey – if that isn’t Sinia!”

With a heavy _thump_ someone sat down at the other side of the table – someone male. Definitely male. With a voice Sinia knew just too well. Not from hearing it often, but out of her memory.

_This can’t be true. Not today, please!_ But still she opened her eyes a little bit, recognizing Reiner sitting in front of her, his arms folded on the desk, grinning at her. Why was he grinning? Did she look that ridiculous? “Hi Reiner.”

“And I thought you were asleep!”, the blond guy laughed and leaned back on the chair. “I can’t believe you’re here without Ledoux or Krylow. It’s no place for a girl alone.” Actually, he had seen her sitting alone for three minutes now and just now he’d found the courage to go and talk to her. Sinia was, even though she might didn’t know, one of the most wanted single girls within the walls. She was beautiful and kind and generous. Reiner had seen her a few times, even fighting, and he thought she was gorgeous. So he’d decided to give it at least a try.

“I’m not a girl anymore.” And Sinia had the urge to punch herself in the face. What kind of lame answer was that? She was just pretty freaked out Reiner sat in front of her, being friendly, almost acting like they were best friends! Or had he just lost a bet and had to talk to her? Everything was possible within Sinias' mind and she prepared herself for some sort of embarrassing situation. For example that Reiner didn’t even like her and just had to talk or even _flirt_ with her as a dare or some kind of stupid game. 

“But not old enough to go to the pub alone. Ya’know, some guys happen to be quite pushy when drunk”, he just replied, his face suddenly becoming more earnest. It almost seemed like he cared about Sinia. That he wanted to know her safe in this dangerous place. 

“Pushy like you?”, she shot back, smiling roguishly. “I wanna remind you that you're younger than me, Reiner. So, I should be the one warning you.”

“Call me pushy again, Sinia, and I’ll never pay for any drink again!” Shouting this, Rura finally made it to their table. Just then she saw Reiner sitting with Sinia. Slowly she puckered her lips, looking from Sinia to Reiner and back. “Hey Reiner.”

“Ah, Ledoux, it’s you. I almost worried Sinia would be here all alone”, the young man said, now grinning again. “But with you at her side there is no harm going to happen.”

“Right, there is no harm going to happen with a sober me”, Rura answered. “But I don’t plan to stay sober tonight.” She looked at Sinia, whose head had gotten the shade of deep red. Was it so hot in here? Rather not. Rura thought about another reason for that red face of her friend. But that hardly could be possible – they had never anything to do with Reiner or Annie or the others. So why would Sinia have feelings at all for someone like Reiner? He wasn’t even as handsome as Levi or as clever as Erwin or whatever. He was strong, that for sure. But Rura would bet that there were better men for Sinia out there. Somewhere within the Walls.

“So you two maybe need my guidance later?”, Reiner dared to ask with a mischievous grin.

“Depends on how wasted we are”, Sinia said, regaining some of her confidence again. After all, Reiner was just a human being like them, with feelings and fears and insecurities and all that. “And whether or not you’re able to find us in here.”

“Oh, I guarantee: I will find you everywhere”, the blond guy almost whispered so only Sinia could hear it, then stood up. “I do not intend to disturb the two of you, I’m not that much of a good mate concerning girls’ nights.” With that he left the table, shooting Sinia one last devilish grin, sending a nervous shiver down her spine. 

_What the actual fuck?,_ the brunette thought. _What was that? Did he just flirt with me? Or was that a threat? If so, it was a hot threat. He could menace me like that every day._

“Woha, well, Sinia – I’m not quite sure what that was, but I think you’ve got an adorer.” Grinning, Rura sat down just where Reiner had sat the seconds before. “And I think, we can drink on that!”

\----

Standing on Wall Rose Kahina stared into the clear nightsky, trying to count the many stars. The moon was big and almost full and shone bright and kind of yellowish onto the land. Sighing she sat down, her legs dangled down the wall. Down there on the ground were no Titans at all. Where were they? While daytime there were so many standing down there with their arms stretched into the sky – a clear sign that they wanted to get behind the wall, to the places humans lived.

_What if they do not like darkness? Nobody really likes it,_ Kahina thought but then stopped. _Why are the Titans the only thing I can think about anymore? Am I obsessed?_ Shaking her head the young Krylow decided to return to the city. Being alone was bad. But worst was being pitied.

As she strolled through the city, Kahina suddenly thought about something else. An appointment she’d rather not avail. Not only she didn’t know the exact time, nor where the office of Commander Smith was. 

“Ah shit”, Kahina mumbled, then decided to go home and slowly prepare for that unlucky meeting. Why on earth had this day to be so terrible? Well, at least Trost was safe now.


	11. Hangover

The next morning Rura awoke with a cruel headache and a stiff neck. With a slow look around she couldn’t see much but a blurred mess. How much had she been drinking last night? And where the fuck was Sinia? And, almost most important: Where was she? 

Very carefully the redhead started to sit up, trying to ignore the dizziness and the urge to vomit. She wouldn’t vomit. It was disgraceful and disgusting and she wouldn’t throw up at a place other than her home. So. There. She wouldn’t throw up. Even though her mouth tasted like some rotten sweet, mixed with a lot of alcohol and old breath. Ew. 

_Oh_ , Rura thought as she finally sat and managed to look around. _I’m not in prison. That’s a good start. What place is this?_ With both hands on the table next to her she stood up, head bowed and taking deep breaths.

“So you finally woke up.”

“Huh?” With a lot of effort Rura lifted her head and had to narrow her eyes for a clear sight. But all she could see was black hair and a male physique. Who could that possibly be?

“Now get up. I don’t intend on waiting for you forever.”

“Wh-what?” Finally Rura stood by herself, still a bit jiggly, but good enough to go. Her head felt like someone was on a rampage in there. With swords. On hands and feet. She wouldn't be surprised if she started to have a nosebleed or ear-bleed. That pain would even justify eye-bleed. “Where is Sinia?”

“At home, where she belongs to”, the man replied, clearly annoyed. His voice was as cold as ice. And at that moment Rura realized that this guy was Levi.

_Maybe this is the right moment to just faint,_ she thought almost desperately. How embarrassing! Why was Levi here? She looked and felt like shit, oh such a cruel destiny!

“Where am I, then?”, Rura asked, trying to casually lean against a buttress but failed miserably. With her numb senses she just got that far away feeling of falling down – and then getting caught. 

“Still at the pub.” Levi was more than pissed. Two hours ago someone had knocked at his door, a guy who’d introduced himself as the owner of the pub, having a girl sleeping in, mumbling Levis’ name once or twice. Great. The Captain had almost declined to come with the man, but then he just had wondered who would possibly mutter his name in her sleep. And _lo and behold_ , it had been Rura Ledoux. One of the new recruits. How very interesting. 

And now, to protect her from slamming her own head, he was carrying her bridal style through the streets towards her home. Luckily it was just past five in the morning and no one was up now. At any other daytime he wouldn’t have helped her at all.

“No-no-no, Levi, I need to go to Sinia”, Rura complained and pulled on his white shirt. He just rolled his eyes and moved on, not even thinking about answering her chatter. “I need to check she’s still a virgin, _goddammit!_ And that she did- did not tell Kahina! Did not tell about the R-r-r-recon Crops.”

_What?_ , was all Levi could think. 

“Shit, it’s Corps”, Rura corrected herself and started having a hick-up.

_Why me?_

\----

About daybreak Sinia awoke from the sunlight shining into the room. She wasn’t even sure if it was hers, but the bed felt so good it just had to be hers. And if it wasn’t, she would just take it home. Yawning she stretched her arms and legs, then turned around to check out the room and possibly completely freak out at whatever she may see. 

“Are you finally awake, young lady.”

Oh no, her father. Sinia closed her eyes again, trying to shut off this cruel reality. This was the least she could use right now, a sermon. She almost sighed as she heard her father standing up and walking around in her room.

“You know, Sinia, I always thought of you as a grown up and responsible woman. I entrusted you with some important assignments within the court after you just left the Garrison after such a long time. You were on your way to become an extraordinary Captain. I tried to support you with all my strength and how do you thank me? With disobedience and unacceptable behavior. I wonder, how can it be, that a total stranger has to almost carry you home because you are not able to walk by yourself? How comes it you’re not able to ask one of your troublesome friends to go out with you? I expect an explanation.” He now stood right in front of her bed, most likely his arms folded, his eyes set on her back. “I have time.”

“Oh dear gracious…”, Sinia finally grunted and sat up, facing her dad. Why was he here in the first place? Should he not be in his own house, safe and sound behind Wall Sina? “Ain’t I allowed to go out and enjoy the time by myself?”

“No, you are not since you’re clearly not able to protect yourself.”

“I am clearly able to do so. And I weren’t alone. Rura was with me”, Sinia shot back, holding back a mourn. Her head hurt! Apropos: _Where the hell is Rura?_ And who’d brought Sinia home last night? A stranger? Who could’ve that been?

“And why didn’t she bring you home, then?”

_I hate when my father has a point,_ Sinia just thought and glared at the judge.

\----

“…Pixis say?”

“He said he would talk to her and try to get her to leave the Garrison.”

“And he hasn’t sent word yet?”

Kahina awoke from the conversation between two men, held in the room where she had been sleeping. She blinked a few times and yawned silently as she lifted her head a bit. Since she hadn’t known any time of the meeting she’d thought to just pull an overnighter in Erwins' office after she had found it. Maybe that hadn’t been her most brilliant idea – but then again: When did she have brilliant ideas by herself? It was Rura who was able to make up great plans.

Right in front of Kahina were legs. Probably Erwins’ legs. They were spread, using all the room that was underneath that table. She had to say that she was lucky he didn’t hit her in the face until now. Having a closer look, Kahina had to admit that the owner of those trousers needn’t be ashamed of anything. 

_Oh hell, what am I thinking?_ , she rebuked herself in thoughts.

“No, he hasn’t. But I know that the Krylow thinks highly of Pixis and she wouldn’t do anything that might subvert him in front of the other members of the Garrison. She’d rather quit being a soldier than compromise Pixis by leaving the Garrison and joining the Recon Corps instead”, the male voice – definitely belonging to Erwin Smith – said. “Therefore she needs to leave due to a different reason, completely unrelated to the Scouting Legion.”

“And you think it’s clever to ask her?”, the other man asked. Kahina didn’t know that voice.

But just the topic of the conversation caused her to build up anger. So it had been Erwin who had sent Dot Pixis to her home, almost booting her out of the Garrison. That bastard! Why had Pixis agreed to that? If what was said was true, the Commander of the Garrison had used her willfulness against her.

“Definitely.”

“And why ask Pixis to kick her out like that? Or more like, make her leave on her own?”

“Mike, do you really think she would just switch to the Recon Corps by herself?” That almost sounded like he smiled a sad smile.

Kahina, under Erwins' table, unseen between his legs, had to restrain the urge to rip off his balls. How could he possibly?! That was dirty-play! “I can’t believe you did this”, she hissed under her breath. Still, obviously too loud.

“Did you hear that?”, that Mike wanted to know. 

“Yes.”

The next second both men were crouching down, facing the Krylow who tried to hide in the darkest corner under the table. Their eyes had almost the same look in them: Kind of curious, but mostly surprised. Only that Mike seemed a bit satisfied. Just like he’d expected her to be down there.

“Krylow?” Erwins’ thick eyebrows rose. “Did you just… _sleep_ under my table?”

“Obviously. I had no idea at what time I should’ve come today. So I guessed the earlier the better”, she hissed, feeling stupid in that corner. And if that wasn’t the most shameful moment in her life up until now.

“Erwin, now I’m sure it was the right choice”, Mike said while standing up. “I’m leaving now. I think you want to discuss that matter with Captain Krylow alone.”

She just heard the man walk away, the door opening and closing again. _I’m not a Captain anymore!_ Then she was alone with Erwin, who still stared at her, somehow even in awe.

First of all, the Commander wondered: _How did she get in my office?_ Then: _Why didn’t Mike smell her?_ But maybe, just maybe, Mike had and just hadn’t said a thing to Erwin. That might be possible, but the blond man didn’t see any sense in that. Looking at Kahina, he had to admit that she was kind of cute, huddled in that corner, glaring at him. And was she wearing shorts? Again? 

“Do you want to become some sort of ugly statue, gaping at me like that?”

\----

“Today you will get your uniform and weapons, as well as the 3D-Maneuver-Gear. Take care of it and make sure to repair it every week if used frequently.”

Rura looked at Erd, a young soldier with blond hair, which he wore as a bun, and brown eyes. He seemed to be friendly and calm, but then again it was just her first impression of him – though these did not often turn out to be wrong, sometimes it happened.

_Maybe he's not all that calm_ , Rura added in her thoughts. Because, well, he was badass enough to go out and kill Titans and come back home to his pretty wife. Rura knew that because she’d seen the picture in the office she was in. It showed Erd with a pretty brown-haired maiden. _Strange,_ Rura thought, _that he still has this job, knowing he can get killed everyday. And being married. That makes no sense to me. If he wants a family, the Recon Corps is definitely not the right place to be on a day to day basis._

“Do you understand, Ledoux?”

“Yes, sure”, she replied, still a bit tired. Well, _a bit_ was vastly understated. She was still wasted and had a hard time to listen to Erd. But she at least tried her hardest to appear awake and fit.

“Good. The next mission starts next month. I will let you know when exactly”, Erd finally said, then smiled mercifully at Rura. “You did a good job staying awake while the introductions. You may leave now, Rura.”

“Yo…”, she just mumbled, took her jacket and gear and was about to leave the office as something occurred to her. “Hey, Erd… do you know what kind of food Levi likes?”

“Food? I know he likes black tea.” The man furrowed his brows and seemed to think about it. “Yeah, black tea. For sure. Why?”

“Ah, just curious. Bye.”

Once outside she shook her head and headed for the market. _Time to make up for Levis’ effort to bring me home. How extraordinarily embarrassing._ Luckily Erd had helped her with the information about the tea. At least she could give Levi a special treat for carrying her home. 

\----

“I really need to think about that.” Kahina now stood in front of Erwins' desk, still looking a bit blowzed but nonetheless attendant. “Why didn’t you ask me two days ago, after the trial?”

“Because, as you know, I know how much you respect Dot Pixis”, Erwin replied, sitting on his chair, his chin resting on his hands. “I have to apologize for what I asked him to do to you.”

“Yeah, you better feel guilty”, she hissed, then pulled herself together again. “As I said, I can’t decide that matter right now. I need a few days to make a choice.”

“Make sure to let me know before the turn of the year”, Erwin said, staring at her blankly.

“And why is that?” Now Kahina had to furrow her brows. It was almost a month until a new year would begin – so why would he want to give her that much time for a decision?

“You may know that around new year there is a prom held by the Military Police and the Recon Corps. Only members of these organizations are allowed to take part there”, Erwin began, but then stopped. Why did he tell her? It was not like it was interesting for her. It was not that it had anything to do with her at all.

“No, I don’t know about that and I do not see any connection between that prom an-”

“I want you to accompany me there.”

Both looked at each other in shock for a few seconds.

“ _What_? You're nuts! I’ma out!” With that Kahina left the office, no farewell, no waving, nothing – she just escaped that scene as fast as possible, throwing the door shut behind her.

“Yes – I guess I'm nuts... Did I just ask _her_ out?” Erwin looked at his reflection in the window, questioning his intentions. He wanted that Krylow in the Recon Corps because she was strong and able to make the right decisions in important fights – for nothing more. He was sure of it.

\----

Sinia stood in front of the locked office and felt a bit awkward. After leaving her home rather hastily, she had hoped to get her stuff quickly to have the day off. There was nothing more she wanted to do but to have a picnic with Kahina and feel bad about lying to her.

“Ahh, so sorry I’m late!!” 

The young Schütz startled up and saw a ginger haired woman running towards her. She just blinked, slowly realizing that this had to be her mentor of the Recon Corps. It was a girl? Smaller than Sinia? How was that possible?

“Sorry! I’m Petra! Petra Ral”, the ginger woman said, panting. “You must be Sinia Schütz!”

“Right.”

And suddenly Petra hugged Sinia! Tightly and with a huge smile on her face.

“I’m so glad you’re here! I heard you’re a friend of Erwin and he sometimes tells us about you! You must be such a kind and great person! I hope we’ll get along!” The smaller let go of Sinia and opened the office. “Come on in! I’ve got your stuff in here. You know, your uniform and gear. I bet you know how to handle those. Erwin told me you fought against the Titans in Trost together with Rura!”

“Eh.. yes…” Sinia couldn’t help but like that person. She was so friendly and warm, also quite happy. She felt lucky to have Petra as mentor. Following her into the office, Sinia felt a bit better, even though she still was wasted. At least her head did not hurt as much as this morning anymore.

“Isn’t it exciting to be in the Recon Corps now? And Erwin did pick you, nobody less!”, Petra went on and rummaged through some stuff, searching for the gear.

“Yeah, well, he knows me best out of the members”, Sinia slowly said and smiled. “But I’m glad that you’re so friendly.”

“Thank you!! I always wanted to get to know you! And you’re even cuter and I bet funnier than Erwin has told us!”, the ginger woman called out, hugging Sinia again, then pushed the jacket and gear into her hands. “Here! You’ll need this! And this-” She took out a piece of paper and a pen, writing something down. “This is my address! Visit me whenever you want! We can train together or just go shopping to the market! Oh, this is the best day ever!”

_I have to ask Rura if someone can be made out of sugar,_ Sinia thought as she took piece of paper and put it into the pocket of her trousers. As she left the building, she blinked into the sky. So she would definitely see and fight Titans again. A choice she would regret, she was sure of it.


	12. The Can-Can't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are meant to stay a secret - and others definitely don't stand a chance staying one. Sometimes only one happy person makes a difference.

Levi and Erwin sat in a small restaurant, having lunch and not talking to each other. Not that they didn’t get along, but there was no need to talk. Not really. Not until Rura, Sinia, Erd and Petra entered the restaurant, shortly after them Auruo and Günther arrived.

“Ah guys, good you’re already here!”, Auruo – a guy with dark blond hair, brown eyes and a character one had to get used to – called out. All in all a nice person, strong and loyal. “You may won’t believe it, but Petra declined to accompany me to the prom! Can you believe that?”

“Stop the crying”, the ginger just said and sat down at Levis side. Rura watched that closely and caught herself being a bit envious – so she turned to face Sinia, otherwise someone might notice she had a crush on Levi. “There are almost enough girls within the Recon Corps to go there with you.”

“But with whom do you want to go instead?!”

“Hey Erwin, hi Levi.” Sinia ignored that annoying guy and sat down at Erwins side, waving for the waitress. “Sorry for being late. These guys had wanted to come here just at the same time and had to meet before the actual meeting.” She sighed.

“No problem”, the Commander said, eating on like nothing had happened. “Please take a seat, all of you.”

The members of the Recon Corps nodded, slowly sitting down, then ordered their food and drinks as finally some sort of calm replaced the hyped up atmosphere.

“So, Erwin, when do we get started with the preparations for the mission?”, Erd asked, leaning back in his chair. A week had passed now since the trial of Eren had taken place and their next operation should start in three weeks, so his question was legit. After all, preparations also took some time.

“That is the issue I want to talk about”, the blond man nodded and put his cutlery away. “You will go with Eren and Hanji to the old headquarter in two days. I am going to join you later since it’s almost time to recruit new rookies for the different branches. I expect you to lend me a hand with that. The recruiting will start Wednesday night, next week. Sinia and Rura, the two of you will stay with Eren at the headquarter, together with Aurou and Günther.”

“Okay.” General nodding, everybody understood.

“Concerning the prom – I don’t expect you two can dance?” Erwin turned to face Sinia and Rura. At least he had never seen Sinia dance before and he doubted that her father had taken care of that fact by now.

“Of course we _can_ dance!!”

“Of course we _can’t_ dance!”

The two young women looked at each other, causing Erd and Günther to literally bellow with laughter. Even Levi dared a small grin. These two were quite funny, especially while being together. Maybe they would manage to brighten the mood – although he dared to doubt that they could do so while out on a mission.

“Either way, you need to dance at the prom. Levi, you teach Rura. Auruo, take care that Sinia doesn’t make a fool of herself”, Erwin ordered and stood up. “I have to leave now. Please, enjoy your meal. Don't worry about the payment.” With that, the Commander left the restaurant, leaving some stunned people behind.

Rura looked at Sinia with big eyes. The older just returned that confused gaze.

 _What the fuck, why did he order Levi to dance with me? Does Erwin want to torture me for fun? It’s not funny to let Levi know how little I can dance! It’s embarrassing! It's a shame. I want to die._ Rura almost cried out. Thinking about embarrassing: She still had the black tea for Levi. Another thing she definitely needed to take care of before they left for the old headquarter.

 _Oh no, why Auruo? Erwin? Why me! That guy is so distressing! This is more of a punishment than exercise_ , Sinia thought and looked outside the window.

Right at that moment, Kahina passed the restaurant, not looking inside it but biting into a whole loaf of bread, casually chewing on it. 

“That’s her”, Erd suddenly said, pointing at Kahina.

“Who?”, Günther asked.

“She’s the one who saved one of Commander Pixis elite fighters, I guess it was Ian Dietrich”, Erd explained and slightly shook his head. “You two know her, right?”

“Yes, of course. She’s our best friend”, Sinia said, wanting to know where the Krylow was going to; but unable to just get up and follow her.

“It was Ian, yes”, Rura slowly nodded; the picture of his bitten off arm and all the blood appeared in front of her eyes once again, causing her to blink a few times to get rid of it. If Ian too thought that Kahina had saved him? Or did he curse her and Rura for forcing the life of a crippled person onto him? He could never be a soldier anymore with only one arm. The young doctor softly shook her head, focusing on the conversation. “Do you know why she wasn’t asked to join the Recon Corps?”

“Erwin did ask her”, Levi stated. Which earned him surprised looks from everybody.

\-------- 

It was frustrating, so very frustrating for Kahina that Sinia hadn’t found out anything useful about the new law. Why weren’t there at least any more rumors? It would have been just too good if Rura, Sina and she had gotten the chance to kill that law. She had already pictured the three of them being praised as heroines by all people. Seemed like that had to stay a dream and nothing more.

Stuffing the bread into her mouth, Kahina strolled through the streets and thought about how to pass the time since neither Rura nor Sinia had time for her. Now she knew why people usually had more friends than two. But well, now it was almost too late for the Krylow and honestly, she wasn’t interested in new friends. It was so exhausting to get to know each other. Additionally, she didn’t want any other friends than Rura and Sinia. They were enough for two lifetimes! _I wonder what they’re doing that I can’t do with them? I shall not forget to ask them!_

She stopped in front of a flower shop, an almost crazy thought occurring to her. _What if I really become a florist? Wouldn’t that be fulfilling?_ Having a look at all the flowers, she allowed a dreamy smile. Such a pretty, boring job.

“Kahina, what a nice coincidence.” Erwin had spotted the young woman in front of that flower shop, of course she was alone right now. Stepping closer to her, the Commander could only get a glimpse of her face, it was mostly covered by her long copper hair. Seemingly she hadn’t heard him, because she just ate on, staring at the flowers. “Krylow.”

“Hm?!” She looked up – straight into Erwins face. _Oh no, not now. Not while I daydream about flower bouquets and stray hats._ Why was he here? She hadn’t decided yet. And she had been so cautious to avoid any accidental meetings! “Hi.”

“I see you distract yourself”, he stated, somehow surprised she had not insulted him by now. But then again, they had only gotten over with the greetings.

“If you want to know about any decision – I still haven’t made up my mind on that”, she said, hoping he’d leave now. Since Kahina couldn’t be with her friends, she wanted to be alone. And the last person she wanted to see was Commander _somehow definitely hot_ Erwin Smith. He made her feel bad about being the egoistic prick she was and she didn’t like that.

“Of course, I understand.”

“Good, then bye.” With exhibited casualness she turned around to leave this place; she took big steps to do that as fast as possible. Her white dress fluttered in the wind as she started to push her way through some of the rather slow strollers.

 _How can someone try to avoid any conversation that stubbornly?_ , Erwin wondered. It was clear that she wanted to hide something from him. Which wouldn’t be a matter at all if she didn't make it that hard to talk to her. Taking a few big steps, he had caught up with her. “You sure don’t mind going on a walk with me.”

\-------

Rura and Sinia had finished their meal already and just waited for Petra to eat up so they could leave and get the dresses for the prom. Not that the two friends were keen on that, but Petra had insisted on it and they couldn’t really deny her that one wish. The guys had already left the restaurant, preparing for the following operation.

“Oh look, there’s Erwin again!”, Petra called out, pointing out of the window.

Rura didn’t care to look at Erwin, she rather thought about Levi, that handsome guy. Even with his gray shirt and black trousers he looked breathtaking and strong. Rura was sure the young man could beat up some Titans even without his gear. And now he had to teach her how to dance. To be honest, Rura was a bit excited about it – he would have to hold her hand for that and yet alone that thought caused her heart to jiggle. And her hands to sweat, which she wished did not happen.

“Eh? Rura! There’s Kahina with him!”, Sinia suddenly called out as she saw that their friend was walking at Erwins side. “What the hell are they doing together?”

“Oh my, are they on a _date_? I always wanted Erwin to have a pretty girlfriend!”, Petra exclaimed and smiled brightly. “You know her, is she all right? Does she deserve a kind-hearted and strong man like Erwin?”

“I do not think this is a date”, Rura said as she had a closer look. Kahinas face showed everything but happiness, rather some sort of tension and displeasure. “Maybe he wants to talk to her so she’ll join the Recon Corps.”

“Hey, hey Erwin!!”

“Petra, what the fuck are you doing?!”, Sinia shouted as she noticed her superior knocking against the window to attract Erwins attention. Which she got immediately. He waved at the three young women, a shy smile on his face, then he turned to continue to talk to Kahina.

“Wait – who’s there in that restaurant?!” Kahina stopped walking and stared through the window to have a better look, ignoring Erwins hand on her shoulder, trying to shove her forward. Then she saw them. “Rura. _And_ Sinia?” She gasped for air in the most enraged way, first glaring at Erwin, then at her friends. Then at the ginger woman who had drawn Kahinas attention to the restaurant. Kahina knew her face, she was part of the Recon Corps.

Were they already part of them? Was that the reason why they had not shown up to steal some gears? Was that the reason they didn't have no time for Kahina anymore? _That fucking hurts my non-existent feelings!_ “I can’t believe this!” With one swift movement she freed herself from Erwins grip on her shoulder and stomped into the restaurant. 

“Ohhh, shit’s gonna hit the fan”, Rura mumbled as she stood up to greet Kahina. “Hey!”

“ _NO_! No _Hey_ for me! Tell me the fucking truth! What the hell is going on here?!”

“It’s not our fault!”, Sinia suddenly called out, not able to stand the wrath of her fuming friend. Also, she was afraid Kahina would throw that bread against her head. “Erwin asked us to join the Recon Corps and who are we to decline such a request? He didn’t want to ask you at the same time, but he didn’t tell us the reason! I don’t know why! Please – don’t blame us, we had to promise to not tell you!”

“So it was Erwins glorious idea?”, Kahina spat out, shooting the blond man an angry glare as he entered the restaurant. “It was _you_ who ordered my friends to lie to me?”

“Get a hold of yourself, Kahina”, Rura sighed. “He did ask you, didn’t he? There is no need to fight now.” But of course she knew that there were enough reasons for her friend to get angry. “And we didn’t lie to you.”

“That’s not quite true”, Sinia admitted. “I lied and I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry I knocked onto the window…”, Petra mumbled and looked down, feeling guilty that the three friends were arguing right now. Had she known that this was kind of a secret, she would never have tried to get Erwins attention!

“No, it’s alright, Petra”, Erwin suddenly said, a forgiving smile gracing his face. “You didn’t know about it. There was no wrong in your deed.”

“But now they’re arguing”, the small woman said, her voice almost whiny. She had never intended for things to escalate like that.

“I honestly feel so attacked right now! I trusted you! I waited for you for hours!!”

“ _And_?”

“And?! You dare to ask me that? And after I came home Pixis visited me, booting me out of the Garrison, because people had a fucking problem with my damn straight language!!”

“It’s more of an in-your-face-language and you know that”, Rura corrected her friend, slowly feeling ashamed about the fact that people were watching them. It felt like all the guests inside the restaurant, and also the staff, had stopped their current actions to observe that heated argument.

“What? Are you also too sensible for it? I thought you’re more of a badass person!”

“That’s all right”, Sinia whispered to Petra. “They did not have a real argument for three months now, I bet they’d start a fist-fight if it wasn’t for the interior of the restaurant.”

“But… they’re friends”, Petra said slowly. “Friends shouldn’t punch each other.”

“Don’t try to tell them”, the brunette almost smiled then shrugged her shoulders. “It’s part of their friendship.”

“If you want me to beat you up like the unpleasant person you are you just have to tell me!”, Rura hissed, her face turning red with anger. How dared Kahina compromising the Recon Corps that way in public?

“So you think you can beat me up, eh? The only thing you fight now are bacteria and the only thing they can do is _suppurating_! That’s not quite as quick and painful as it should be!!”, Kahina retorted.

“Did she just insult bacteria?”, Petra whispered in awe. Those two could argue in the most entertaining way ever.

“I told you it’s a friendship-thing”, Sinia grinned. To be honest, she almost had missed the hissing, shouting and insulting of Rura and Kahina. It made everything a bit easier to bear, especially the sad things. It was easier to focus on anger but on sadness.

 _It really gets to her that she didn’t know,_ Erwin thought and looked at the four young women who all were his subordinates. All were skilled – but why had girls be so stressful? He decided to put an end to this right now. He wanted to eat here again, after all.

“Kahina, we’re leaving.” He put his hand onto her back and gently shoved her towards the door.

“We’re going to have a talk! This is so not over!”, Kahina shouted as Erwin almost dragged her out of the restaurant. “Let me go! Rura and I weren’t finished!”

The three women left in the restaurant stared at each other in mutual yet strained silence.

“Sorry for thinking it was a date”, Petra finally sighed.

”Do you want to go back to the shop where we met?”, Erwin asked, still walking at Kahinas side – whether she wanted or not. Although – now that she seemed calmer than before, she apparently did not mind him too much.

”Which one do you mean?” Not that Kahina did not know. She just wanted him to leave. Like that she was not able to get her head working again. All she perceived were his tall and muscular physique and his warm voice.

”The flower shop”, the Commander suggested, eyeing her carefully. _How odd_ , he thought, _that a grumpy and fierce person like her seems to be into flowers._

After a few seconds of thinking about that, Kahina finally nodded, then took another bite of her bread. So they turned around and headed there again, this time in silence. To outsiders it may appeared like two friends taking a peaceful stroll; and even the Krylow had to admit to herself that having Erwin walk by her side was not all too bad. Weird in a way, but not _bad_.


	13. A Small Gesture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drinks and Food are always a way to say "Thank you" or "Sorry, I was being a dick". Some things always work out.

Two hours later Sinia, Rura and Petra stood in a rather fancy shop, staring at all the pretty dresses. There were so many and they were all so gorgeous; how should they decide for just one of them?

“Wow… these are so pretty!” Exclaiming this, Petra rushed towards the crème-white dresses. “Sinia, I want you to wear that color! And Rura, you’ll go with black. I’d love black with your red hair!”

“Can’t I decide that for myself?”, Rura wanted to know, rather overwhelmed by the many colors, shades and shapes of those dresses. There was so much tulle and silk and ruffles – somewhere in between there had to be the actual clothes.

“No, I’m deciding what you’re wearing becau-“

“I am Ruras mentor, so I will chose what she wears.”

“Erd!” All three looked at the tall man who seemed a bit misplaced in that store.

“That’s right, it’s me. And I order Rura to wear something green, so it fits her hair even better.” He grinned at the young woman who stared at him with big eyes. “No need to thank me. But we better hurry up with buying the dress. This shop creeps me out.”

“No, Erd, you cannot pick what Rura’s going to wear! You’re not a girl!” Petras face turned red as she stared at her comrade, pouting even.

“But Rura is and I’m sure she wants to look beautiful at the prom”, Erd just said, already rummaging through the green dresses. “Only because you think something is pretty doesn’t mean that the guys think that, too.”

“You do it for the men?!”, Petra almost screamed, totally forgetting she wanted to search a dress for Sinia. “A girl wears a dress solely for herself and not for a man!”

 _If you knew that I only go to that prom because I have to_ , Rura thought. _If you knew that the reason I’m going to wear a pretty dress is to impress Levi._ She just smiled at Erd and hoped for the best.

“Is that so? But we men want something nice to look at while we have to behave at such a prom.”

Petra just rolled her eyes and went back to search for dresses for Sinia and herself. If Erd wanted to pick a dress for Rura – very well. He would come to see what Rura thought about it. _Hopefully she’ll hate it_ , Petra thought a tad vile. Going shopping had been her idea; she had wanted to make it a girls-day - they should look stunning at the prom because of her. Erd literally had no business disturbing it like that. Just because he thought he had good style.

\------

The next day Sinia prepared some fruits and sausage sandwiches for her picnic with Kahina. She wanted to apologize for her behavior and knew that food was always the best way to do so, it always worked out. Although Sinia would have loved Rura to accompany them, the redhead could in no way take the day off today.

Because Rura had her first dance lesson today. 

Sinia hadn’t pushed the topic any further, but she knew that these lessons were important for Rura; and not only because the Ledoux had never learned how to dance. Being close to Levi might just be as important as the lesson itself, Sinia mused. Maybe that fascination would fade soon, but who was Sinia to try and foresee the future? Even if she was able to do so, she wouldn't – where would be the fun in that?

She put on her favorite dress, it was gray and had many colored stains on it, and put a white flower into her hair to at least pretend to care for her looks. It was a picnic with one of her best friends, why the hell would she want to look like a damn sweetheart? Then again, she had no desire to appear like a hobo. Just then someone knocked onto the door. It couldn’t be her dad, he was working right now. Luckily. 

Opening the door, Sinia had to narrow her eyes, for the sunlight was so bright and shone directly into her eyes. “Hello?”

“Hey Sinia, it’s me.”

“Reiner!” She almost choked on that name, trying to get a hold of herself. What was Reiner doing here? Who told him where she lived? Why was he not standing a bit further to the left so she would not get blinded by the sun? And why was he at her door anyway? “Uhm… did something happen? Can I help you?”

The blond man smiled down on that nervous brunette and had to restrain to back away because he feared to do something stupid. The last days had been a mess for everybody and so he hadn’t been able to visit Sinia until now. Even though he wasn’t sure if that was a good idea or not. Considering her surprise it had been a rather shitty one. “No, nothing happened. I just wanted to check on you, if you’re okay.”

“Yes, thanks.” She stared at the tall man and couldn’t think about anything to say.

“I see you’re about to leave?”, Reiner asked, nodding at the basket that stood at her side, filled with food, a blanket and something to drink. “A picnic I guess?”

“Yep. And, to be honest, I should be on my way.” She lowered her head to hide the blush working its way up her cheeks. Had he come earlier they could have shared a cup of tea.

Reiner hated himself for his bad timing. For once he wanted to see that girl and she had to go somewhere else! What kind of bad luck was that? 

Seeing how down Reiner seemed to be after she’d told him she had to go, Sinia had an idea. “But you can come with me. It’s quite a walk and it wouldn’t be that boring with someone to talk to”, she suggested, shyly smiling at him. “Or do you despise taking walks?”

“No, not at all!”, Reiner grinned and closed the door behind Sinia as she stepped into the sunlight. She was even prettier than about a week ago as he had met her in the pub. If that was even possible. “I'm great at walking!”

”Uh... what?” Sinia blinked at him, not sure if she had heard right.

Reiner stared at her for a second until he realized that his mouth had just been working faster than his brains. “May I take that basket?”, he hastily added, then shut his mouth to prevent himself from saying things like: _I'm great at carrying baskets._

“Eh… sure. Why not?” She handed over the filled basket and smiled at Reiner, trying to hide the unbelievable luck she felt inside. Sinia had no idea why he was here, but he was, and he carried her stuff and he was friendly and even fucking lowered his pace for her small steps. If that weren't manners.

“So, did you have a hangover?”

“What?”

“Don’t you remember?”, Reiner asked, raising his eyebrows. Sure, Sinia had been quite drunk, but he had not expected her to actually forget everything. “Last week as you went out together with Rura you two got totally hammered. I brought you home.”

“You brought me home?” She stopped and stared at Reiner. That guy wasn’t just nice, he was a goddamn gentleman! And suddenly Sinia remembered exactly one sentence she’d found very important at that night: _Oh, I guarantee: I will find you everywhere._ That was what Reiner had said back then. And yeah, he had found her, and additionally he had brought her home without taking advantage of the situation. “Reiner! Thank you!”

“No need to thank me, it was merely…”

“No! No. Some other guy wouldn't have brought me to my home, into my bed, and left me sleeping. That was very decent of you”, Sinia interrupted and hugged Reiner unintentionally and to her own surprise.

 _Can I get arrested for holding her like that for more than two days?,_ Reiner wondered and just pulled Sinia closer to restrain himself from stroking her soft and shiny hair. It smelled a bit like sunflowers. How on earth was she still single?

\-------

“So, do you already have a dress?”

“Y-Yes”, Rura nervously answered and avoided staring at Levi. It should be considered a crime, his good looks and his manly voice. Ruras life would be so much easier without that guy claiming a special part of her thoughts. Without him creeping up in her mind every now and then, causing her to long for him each and every time.

Erd had decided on a strapless forest green dress, reaching down to the floor, with a huge ribbon around her waist, bound in the back. The skirt was fluffed with a lot of tulle and different layers of satin so it would be wide but still swing with every movement. It was decorated with black lace and looked gorgeous on Rura. Even Petra did have to nod her approval to that dress.

“Good.” Levi eyed the young woman with the red curls, hoping for the dress to be green. He wouldn’t accept anything but that color. Her whole appearance called for that red-green-contrast and he wanted to see it on her. “I want to see it.”

“Sorry, but I can’t show it. Erd forbid it”, she said and looked up. “Ain’t I here for dancing?”

“Indeed.” The black haired Captain let go of the topic _dress_ and started to shove aside some of the furniture so there would be more space in the office. “Tell me, how often do you dance?”

 _Is_ never _an appropriate answer?_ , the redhead thought and grinned apologetically. “Not so often.”

“Do you know any dance?”, Levi asked and rolled up the sleeves of his white button-down shirt.

Rura had to restrain herself from gaping at Levi. How did he not realize that rolling up sleeves was kind of the sexiest thing a man could do to a woman? Internally she fought for her composure. “I know the waltz.” She was glad she had not stuttered, though she only knew the name of the dance, but Levi didn’t need to know that.

“Good. At the prom there are three dances which will be danced the most”, he explained and went to his phonograph, turning it on. Then he looked at Ruras feet. “Don’t you intend to wear heels at the prom?”

“Heels?”, she asked helplessly. _Why would I need to wear heels for dancing? I don’t dance except at home, barefooted._

“Yes, heels. In those you’ll have a better posture.” The Captain slowly began to wonder if Rura had ever danced and – if not – why she thought it intelligent to lie to him. Among the poor and middle class there was no need to attend proms, he wouldn’t have wondered if she couldn’t dance. He would find out soon enough if she had just tried to fool him. “So, let’s start with the waltz.”

The phonograph softly spilled out sounds Rura had never heard before. She had never heard any music like this before, to be honest, and it was beautiful. Until now she had worked with stomping, using cases or wood as well as a washboard to make sounds, but this was different in every imaginable way. There was no way she would concentrate on anything right now but on that relaxing sound. She didn’t even know the names of the instruments used to compose that! Her bright eyes widened as the rhythm got faster, staring at the phonograph in awe. “That’s beautiful…”, she whispered.

“That’s _By the Beautiful Blue Danube_ from Johann Strauss II”, Levi slowly said, walking towards Rura. “It’s a classic and is always played at the prom.” He looked her straight in the eyes, waiting for a second. “How is your dancing posture?”

Staring at him, Rura realized that he knew. Somehow. But she didn’t want to give in that easily and forced herself to remember Sinia and Kahina dancing. They had done that quite a few times since the young Schütz had been forced to attend some proms with her father. Sinia had taken the womens part, whilst Kahina had danced the mans.

Rura blinked, then lifted her right hand until it was the the height of her face, she bent her left arm a bit, like it was laying onto something. Straightening her back, she couldn’t hold back a shy smile. “Like that.”

 _So she’s at least seen it already_ , Levi thought and slightly nodded. “Almost. Of course you need a partner who knows the exact rules. This partner shall be me for now.” Without any hesitation Levi grabbed her lifted hand and put his right onto her back, pulling her closer to him.

 _Oh dear_ , the redhead thought, _why does he even smell like heaven? This has to stop!_ She gulped as she realized how his fingers searched their place on her back, almost stroking her, his left hand holding her right tightly. His fingers were warm and soft. She could get used to that feeling of his hand holding hers.

“Lift your left arm a bit higher up”, the Captain ordered with his indifferent voice. “Straighten your back. Do not cramp.”

“How shall I not cramp?”, Rura mumbled rather to herself – then she realized she actually had spoken the words out loud. And Levi had heard them, concluding from the look he gave her. “I said I don’t dance that often so I tend to cramp”, she tried to explain in sheer despair, her cheeks burning with shame. Why was she that nervous around Levi? Why were her heart and tongue such traitors to her brain and dignity? Why could she not concentrate on easy tasks?

“I see.”

“And now?”, Rura dared to ask while she tried to avoid looking into Levis’ catching eyes. Which required quite some effort since he was only about 2 inches taller than her. If not less.

“I need to find the rhythm”, the Captain said, closing his eyes, concentrating on the music. “Since you danced the waltz before you know how it works.”

 _Oh shit, this is not going to end well_ , Rura suddenly understood. She wanted to say anything like that she had only seen it but never danced – but there was only an embarrassingly small and high sound emerging her throat. “Uhm… Levi?”

“I understand you never danced before”, he plainly said, opening his eyes and suddenly pulling her with him, forcing her to follow his steps to the music. Rura just stumbled around, trying to not fall or trample on Levis’ feet. “But you will learn to follow my lead.”

\-------

_Why am I here? What am I doing? I have other concerns right now but the right of own feelings. This is not my range of duty._

Erwin waited in front of the kings room to be let in. He had been sitting there for an hour now and it was more than annoying. The Commander wasn’t one who was used to wait. Neither let he wait nor did someone make him wait. It was still unbelievable to him that he was doing this solely because Sinia had asked him to do so. She really owed him. 

“Commander Smith?” A small blonde peeked out of the room. “The king is willing to welcome you now.”

 _About time_ , Erwin thought and followed the woman into the richly decorated room with thick red carpet on the floor, royal blue curtains and a lot of golden framed pictures of the walls. Though this room was openly showing the riches of the king, Erwin thought it to be rather dull. The blonde left and Erwin faced the old man, King Franz, king of the Walls and everything within them. The Commander saluted as he was supposed to do.

“Relax, Commander”, the king said, his voice cracking as he spoke. The man was old, wearing a highly adorned red robe. His eyes almost got lost underneath the hanging, long brows. “What is it that you want from us?”

“King Franz, I have evidence a new law is being enforced concerning marriage and natality”, Erwin started, closely watching the kings reactions. 

“So, have you?”

“Yes. This law violates human dignity in every possible way”, Erwin carried on. “You cannot allow it to come into effect.” The Commander had honestly not enough information about the king or that law to have a proper plan, so he had to trust his instinct on that. Which left him with a rather unwell feeling – Erwin was one to plan far ahead, he used to have information and evidence for every single action.

\-------

Kahina waited at the glade for Sinia, tapping her right foot impatiently onto the ground. Her arms were folded as she glanced towards Wall Rose. How she hated the Walls. How she hated to be left waiting.

They had agreed on four p.m. and now it was almost five. What on earth was so hard with being on time? Even she managed it sometimes! Kahina stared into the sky, sighing. She couldn’t even visit Rura since she had her first dancing lesson with Levi today. That much Sinia had told her. But why was Sinia late?

Right then Kahina could see two people slowly approach her, she heard male and female laughter. She heard Sinias laughter. _She can't be fucking serious,_ the Krylow thought, running her fingers through her thick hair. _I have no intention on having a picnic with lovebirds._ But then again Kahina considered the fact that Sinia would probably send that guy away before they started their picnic. 

“Kahina! Heey!”

“Hey Sinia!” Kahina returned the call, running towards her friend. Hugging her, Kahina recognized the blond guy accompanying Sinia was Reiner. _Reiner? Didn’t he just pass the training?_ How old was that guy? Surely younger than Rura. “Hey Reiner.” She waved at him, smiling, hiding her thoughts in a perfect manner.

“Hi Captain Krylow”, Reiner said.

“Kahina shall be fine. I’m not a Captain anymore.”

 _Wow, why is she telling him?_ , Sinia thought, watching Kahina carefully. Something seemed to have changed, but she wasn’t quite sure what exactly. Which bugged her. Usually Sinia was quite talented when it came to sensing changes and shifts in personalities.

“What? Why?”

“Oh, it's a rather dull story, really. But let me ask, Reiner, why are you walking around with Sinia, carrying her basket?” She was still smiling, taking the basket out of his hands. While unfolding the blanket, she tried to give his appearance here any sense.

“We met and he asked if he can carry it for me”, Sinia said, shyly smiling at Reiner, then turned to face Kahina. “He just wanted to accompany me until we meet you.”

“No prob’, it’s fine.”

“Alright, then… see you later, Sinia. Bye, Capt- Kahina.” Reiner waved at the two, turned around and left the glade with big steps. Just big enough to indicate that this actually was an escape and no ordinary leaving.

“Bye, Reiner”, Sinia called after him, waving until he couldn’t be seen anymore, then realized that Kahina hadn’t said a single word for almost two minutes. “Kahina?” Sinia turned around.

“Just tell me it’s legal what you’re doing.”

“So the two of you are leaving tomorrow with Eren and Levi to go to the former headquarter?”, Kahina asked while gnawing at a whole piece of bacon. “Am I goin’ to see you again before New Years Eve?”

“I don’t know. Probably not. Most likely not.” Sinia shook her head, biting off a piece of cheese she had brought. “Erwin wants us to stay with Eren at the headquarters until the operation starts. The only exception is the prom.”

Both looked at each other with grim expressions, thinking about the meaning of joining the Recon Corps. Or the fact, that Kahina still had not agreed to do so. Sinia wondered if Kahina would really go as far as leaving her friends fight alone within the Recon Corps. Just then a thought hit her and she narrowed her eyes at her younger friend. 

“Wait – why do you know about New Years Eve?”

“Erwin asked me to accompany him”, the younger answered, chewing rhythmically. Then she swallowed. “I’m not going.” She looked away, into the forest. Sometimes she wished to just hide in between the trees to not be found. Especially on days she had appointments.

“But... you _love_ music and parties!”

“Yes, but I don’t dig a prom at which I have to behave and-”

“No. No more shady excuses, Kahina. It’s not about behavior, I know you can talk and act like a damn lady, so don’t give me that. What is it? Is it because Erwin has asked you out? Are you afraid of him? Are you afraid of social bonding?”, Sinia suddenly called out, throwing her cheese away, punching the bacon out of Kahinas hands, her face a grimace of grim anger and sadness. “Why don’t you tell me? Why do you want to exclude you from everything nice and fun?!”

“W-what? Why did you do that? The bacon!”

“Fuck the bacon! Tell me!” Staring into the amber eyes of her friend, Sinia found not only the well known repulsion, but also some sort of anger and grief. “I am your friend! _Please_ trust me!”

“There is nothing to tell, I just don’t like that wannabe, snooty behavior of the Military Police. It has nothing to do with-” _With Erwin. Oh, but yes, it has so much to do with him._ Because he didn’t know why he had been asking her and Kahina knew that. She had known about it since he had asked. And she didn’t want this evening to be shitty for that humble human being because of her presence. “No, it has absolutely nothing to do with Commander Smith.”

“You know what? You’re going to go to that prom. I _won’t accept_ you to discredit Erwin like that just because you don’t like snobs. He has to deal with them, too, and maybe he wants you by his side to distract him a bit.”

“And why won’t you do so, if it’s so important to you?”

“Because I… he didn’t ask me and maybe I’m going with someone else.” Sinia looked away, her cheeks turning slightly red. “But still – please. You don’t have to talk to the guys from the Military Police. Rura and I, we’ll be there too. It’s going to be fun! We haven’t been at a good party for a long time! And the food’s free!”

Kahina sighed, lowered her head and suppressed the urge to cry out. Looking up again, she grinned. “You better pray the food’s killer.”

“Thank you!!” The brunette jumped onto the younger, hugging her, crying out with joy and happiness. “Thank you so much!”

“Rather thank me afterwards”, Kahina mumbled.

\-------

They sat on the floor, Rura suppressing the urge to take deep breaths in order to hide her exhaustion, Levi sipping from his glass of water, soft music filled the room. It was very relaxing and still a sensation to the young woman. Such nice sounds emerging from that phonograph.

“Who would have thought that dancing is that exhausting?”, Rura finally said, without expecting an answer. She was just stunned by the way Levi could make her move like lady instead of a yobbo.

“It is, at least as exhausting as fighting. You have to watch your posture at all times and keep the steps in mind”, Levi agreed, offering Rura his glass. “I only have this one glass. I hope you’re not grossed out by drinking from it.”

“Oh no, I definitely am not”, she said, gladly taking the glass, drinking from it with huge gulps. Even though they hadn’t danced for a long time her throat felt tight and dry. _And, oh dear gracious, I’m drinking from the same glass as Levi! It’s almost like kissing!_ Grinning at her own idiotic thoughts, Rura handed Levi his glass again. He took a sip of it. “Ah, talking about drinking… I have something for you! And don’t you dare refuse to accept it!”

Slowly she got up and went to her bag, rummaged through it and finally found the small box with the tea leaves in it. The box was black, with silver and golden patterns on it. Going back to Levi, she sat down again and handed it him. “This is for you. You carried me home from the pub and I wanted to say _Thank you_. Not many would have helped me like that.”

Levi took the small box, amazed by its colors and how smooth it felt. Slowly he opened it and looked into it. _Tea? She bought me black tea?_ He sniffed at the dried leaves and gave Rura the most startled and surprised look. “That is black tea.”

“Yep. It’s _Wild Black_. I thought maybe you’d like it.” She shrugged her shoulders, not mentioning Erd who’d helped her with that. 

“Yes, I like it. Thank you.”

“No, it’s my way to say _thanks_.” She smiled at him, this time not even nervously, just happy he liked it. 

“I’ll gladly accept that tea”, Levi said and stood up. “Ready for another dance? It’s called _Rumba_.”


	14. Sparks and Talks

On the next morning half of the Recon Corps left for the former headquarter. Rura, Sinia and Kahina had met before the departure, exchanged the exact coordinates of their whereabouts and bid goodbye. Kahina even gave some of her precious chocolate to Sinia and Rura, both had thanked her for that, without anything to give her in exchange. But it wasn’t necessary.

At that time Levi and the others had approached and the group rode away, out of Kahinas sight. _I could be with them now_ , she thought dryly.

_She could be with us now,_ Rura thought, not looking back at where her friend had to stand alone, watching them leave. _It was her choice – maybe with, maybe without reason._

“Sinia, are you okay?” The redhead turned her head to have a look at Sinia. The brunette just nodded, shortly closing her eyes.

“Yes. I am”, she then said, gulping. “I am very okay!”

“Good. Because we have no time for regrets now anymore.”

\------

She had never excused to somebody before except for Erwin Smith and she’d thought it quite unlikely to excuse twice to the same person. But here she was, standing in front of his house, knocking on his door, thinking about how to ask for forgiveness. _If it wasn’t for Sinia_ , Kahina thought, _I wouldn’t be here._

The door got opened with dash and there was Erwin, yes. Wearing only his white trousers, socks and nothing more. Even his hair was a bit messy. Had he been sleeping?

Kahina froze, with her fist still lifted to knock again, her eyes wandered from his face – his surprised expression – over his toned chest to his legs and back. She couldn’t move. What was happening to her? Why was she that amazed by this man? He was easily ten years older than her, if not more. She couldn’t think of him as handsome, now could she? Kahina definitely did.

“Kahina?”, he finally said, stunned by her appearance. First of all, how did she know where he lived? Second, why didn’t she move? Did she suffer a stroke? At least that gave him the opportunity to notice her outfit. She wore black trousers and a loose yellow shirt which she had tucked into the trousers. She looked … pretty. With her untamed hair shining in the sunlight.

”Er…”

“Yes, it’s Erwin”, he smiled, opening the door even more, regaining some of his confidence.

_What a tidy place_ , Kahina thought while shamelessly gaping inside. Finally she managed to at least lower her fist. “Uhm… Commander Smith, I came here to… to…”

“Just call me Erwin”, the man said, running his fingers through the thick hair above his neat undercut.

_Don’t do this. This is really kinda hot and this is not how I want to think about you_ , Kahina thought while staring at him, silently acknowledging how attractive Erwin was.

“Want to come in? I have some coffee.”

“Coffee?” _What the fuck is_ coffee _?_

“And cookies.”

_Ah shit, I love cookies._ A genuine smile appeared on her lips as she put off her dirty shoes and followed Erwin inside.

His flat was tidy and clean, there was literally nothing that seemed to be useless standing around. There were also no pictures of him with a girl or even with his parents, Kahina noticed. As they entered Erwins kitchen, she was struck by a smell she didn’t know at all. And she couldn’t describe it. It was warm and comforting, somehow.

“You really have a nice flat, Commander”, she said, sniffing the air.

“Thank you, _Kahina_. And again, it’s Erwin.” He smirked as he saw her eyes twitch a bit. So she wanted to be polite and correct. Pouring some coffee into a mug, he leaned against the sideboard, noticing the looks he got from the former Captain. He offered her the mug. “Coffee?”

“Thanks”, she said, taking the cup, sniffing at the black liquid. _That’s drinkable?_ She shot Erwin a questioning look, but then took a sip. At the sudden bitter taste she screwed up her face, hastily swallowed and tried to hide her grimacing. 

“Wait, I’ll give you some sugar and cream. It tastes better that way.” With that, Erwin took her cup out of her hands, put sugar and milk into it, stirred it and gave it back to her. Though he had to admit, her screwed up face had been fun to look at.

Cautiously she took another sip while looking at Erwin. That one was way better. “And what is this coffee? I’ve never heard of it.”

“It is something that helps you stay awake. It’s a merchandise only provided within Wall Sina”, the Commander explained and poured himself a mug, drinking it black. There was no need to tell her he let the coffee be delivered to his place. It was one of the very few luxuries he allowed himself to entertain. “So, Kahina, how can I help you?”

“Yeah, good question”, she replied, putting her cup at the sideboard. “I’m here to apologize to you, Commander, an-”

“It’s Erwin.”

“Yes, and I wanted to tell you th-”

“Say it.”

“What?” She looked at him in utter confusion. She was about to say it. _What the hell is his point?_

“Say my name. There is no need to act overly polite. You’re a guest in my house and I invite you to call me by my name, not my rank.” His voice sounded almost raw as Erwin pushed himself off the sideboard and placed himself right in front of Kahina, so she had to look up to him. He had enough of this game she was playing, or whatever she was trying to do. Also he had to admit that the way she used to call him Commander bewildered him – to him it always sounded somehow frivolous. Maybe it was because respect was a stranger to her.

“Excuse me? I don’t quite follow. Ain’t I free in my speech anymore?”, she shot back.

“Yes, you are. But is it so hard to say my name?”

“No, it’s not”, she snorted, trying not to stare at that ripped chest. _This is bad_ , she thought. “Anyway, I’m here to tell you that I’m going to go to the prom with you.” _I just talked to a male chest_ , Kahina realized and forced herself to look into his face. His stare was so intense she felt like he was looking straight into her brain.

_She actually wants to come along? Didn’t expect that_. And Erwin wondered how many surprises that young woman had for him. “Can you dance?”

“Not at all, _Commander_. But I’ll learn.” She grinned, grabbed a cookie and put it in her mouth.

\--------

While they rode towards the former headquarters, Rura and Sinia stayed in the back of the group, pretending to guard their backs when in reality they just wanted to have some relaxation. Auruo was such an annoying guy, always bragging about how great he was at slaying Titans and what an incredible man he was and that Eren was just a pain in the ass. Rura had stopped facepalming herself quite a while ago, whilst Sinia still mourned with frustration and disbelief. How on earth could someone be that autocratic?

“Sinia, sometimes I wish I was deaf”, Rura finally said, sighing deeply.

“Sometimes I wish someone would push a burning spear through my brain”, the brunette just sighed, raising her eyebrows in a mocking way as the redhead shot her an amused look. 

“Don’t get cocky, new blood”, Auruo suddenly said, leaning towards Eren while he led his horse rather inattentively.

“What?!”

Well, Rura and Sinia at least thought that Eren had said that, because the teenage boy backed away a bit from the older one, who got closer and closer to him.

Auruo kept on talking, to the last ones in the row it sounded like muffled insults, but Sinia was quite sure that Auruo wouldn't dare to talk like that while Levi was around. Because only Levi was allowed to a. command, b. insult and c. rebuke Eren.

Just then Auruos horse struggled – “It stepped onto a stone. How stupid can a horse be?!”, Rura exclaimed, getting Sinias “Well, like human like horse.” – causing the young man to forcefully bite his tongue; a tiny bit of blood splashed onto Auruos mouth while he yelled in pain.

“Gross.”

Sinia turned her head to look at Levi. She was sure he’d just said something. But he’d spoken too low to understand a word. What a pity.

And Rura just giggled at the painful sound Auruo produced with his tongue between his teeth.

“That’s what you get for talking while riding your horse”, Petra lectured Auruo, who sat on the stairs in front of the old castle and tried to hide his suffering. The ginger woman had her hands on her hips, shaking her head at her comrade.

“The first moments leave the most important impressions”, Auruo said, glancing up at Petra. “That newbie was scared shitless.”

“I think he was just stunned silent by how lame you are.”

“Shall I look for the horses?”, Sinia asked as she realized that Rura wanted to hear the whole conversation. Both were standing at Erens side, who already fed his animal, and stared at Petra and Auruo almost arguing. Petra was winning.

“Yes, please.” The redhead nodded, still watching the other two.

“Still, it’s all going according to plan.” Now Auruo tried to be cool, holding his cup and not looking at Petra. Rura just thought about how stupid that guy looked and that he was in serious need of help.

“Man, you never used to talk like that.”

_I don’t hear a difference_ , Rura thought. _But then again, I don’t know him that long. Maybe something causes him to behave like a douche?_

“If, by chance, you try to imitate Captain Levi, you should really stop. You two are nothing alike, but still…”, Petra advised, sounding almost a bit worried. 

_Maybe she worries about his mental stability, because I do,_ was Ruras silent comment.

Now Auruo looked up, giving her an almost pitiful glance, like she didn’t understand anything at all. “Do you want to chain me down, Petra? You’re still ways to go to be fitting for my wife.”

“If only you’d bled to death from biting your tongue.”

_That’s going to be hilarious._ Rura was sure of it. _Those two will never stop bitching._

As she stepped to Eren the teenager smiled shyly at her, combing down his brown horse. “Hey Sinia.”

_Wow, he even remembered my name,_ she thought. “Eren, how are you?”

“Fine.”

“Good. Auruo can be quite annoying”, the brunette smiled and started to comb Ruras’ black horse. “But deep inside he’s a good guy.”

“Really? He tries to be cool. I don’t think that makes him a good guy”, Eren said, staring at the pretty woman. He still wasn’t sure what to think about her. Sure, she and her two friends had rescued him. But then again they had sabotaged the trial and Kahina had even shouted at him and all in all it was very unclear to him what the intentions of the three were. 

“Isn’t it like that with everybody?” She took off the harness of the horse. “Many people act like they are so strong and cold on the surface, but deep inside they seek for love and compassion.”

Eren blinked at Sinia, not knowing what to respond. That just escalated from _How are you_ to _I can tell you the meaning of life_ way too fast for the boy. 

“Don’t listen to me. I’m just talking shit while I’m bored. Actually, I talk to my horse. Why do you look at me like that?”, Sinia suddenly said, staring at Eren with the most gruesome expression she could offer. “Got a problem?”

“You are … so … scary”, Eren whispered, unable to move.

“I’m just joking. I’m really bored. Tell me something about you. How long do you know Armin? The way he protected you from Woermann tells me you are friends for a long time.” It was always good to talk about friends. It was easy and people felt listened to. 

“Ehm… actually since we’re kids”, Eren finally said. “We were best friends since then. Armin, Mikasa and me…” He stopped, looked away and combed his horse.

“You seem troubled.” Sinia went on with combing down her horse. “Shall we switch topics?”

“No. It’s okay. You were so kind to be interested in my friends. Everybody else just wants to know about my Titan power or how it felt missing the Colossal Titan.” He shot her a short look, a soft smile tugging on the corners of his mouth.

“But that doesn’t define you as a person”, Sinia slowly said, stepping in front of Eren, putting her hands on his shoulders. “Listen, Eren: No matter how rude some might treat you, no matter what insults are thrown towards you, your friends or your family – remember this well: You are a wonderful being. You are loved and trusted by your friends. And you can trust them. You will never be alone, no matter what might happen. We care for you. Not because you can transform into a huge Titan, but because you encourage us all to keep on fighting. Because we can’t let you fight alone. There will always be people who care about you.”

Eren just looked at Sinia, his eyes growing bigger and bigger, shining with upcoming tears. These were the most caring words he had heard in a long time. From a total stranger. Who just told him that she cared for him. Would she mind if he started crying right now?

But before he could do that, she patted his shoulder, smiling. “So you see, there is no need to feel worthless, just because you couldn’t do something. Because, hell, none of those losers would have had the balls to just attack the Colossal Titan alone. You’re though shit, Eren.”

While walking away from Eren, Sinia felt better as a human being right now. She’d shown him that people cared and he’d appreciated it. So far, these had been the best twenty minutes of the day.

The rest of the first day at the former headquarter consisted of only one thing – a lot of cleaning, cleaning and even more cleaning inside of the castle. Had Sinia known what kind of clean freak Levi was, she would have never agreed to join the Recon Corps.

But now she dangled there at the outside wall of the huge castle, cleaning window after window. At least the sun was shining, warming her skin. Despite the uniform being a must, the young Schütz wore blue trousers and a gray sleeveless top. No jacket, no white trousers. Whoever dared to criticize her would get a shower with dirty water.

“Sinia! How’s it going?”

“Don’t ask me that, Petra.” The young Schütz didn’t even look down but continued wiping off dirt from the colored window glass. Her mood was as down as could be.

“I know it’s annoying, but you’ll get used to it”, Petra smiled and waved at Sinia. “Don’t be mad. It’s just how Levi is. He wants everything to be clean.”

“Clean is different from sterile”, Sinia mumbled, but waved back at Petra. Then she looked at her own grim face in the reflection. _I don’t think this was the right decision. Facing my fears might be a way to make them less frightening but it won’t help if I’m dead. This place gives me the chills. No – even leaving the city scared me. I can almost sense something terrible is going to happen._

“Well, uhm… dinner is in three hours! Will you join?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Great! See you then! Enjoy the sun as long as it shines!”, Petra called out and went into the castle again to go on cleaning the rooms.

“Enjoy the sun?” The brunette blinked into the sky, feeling a warm breeze on her skin, swirling around her hair. “How am I to enjoy the sun as long as I’m not free to walk every place it shines upon?”

\-------

In the early hours Rura cleaned out a room by herself, doing it quite neatly since she was used to that kind of task. She’d cleaned the house her family lived in very often, therefore she had some practice with that sort of activity. Since she had two older brothers – one a merchant, the other one an artist – and one older sister and both her parents at home, she did have to clean a lot. 

Right now she missed and worried about them, even though there was no need to. They were safe and sound within Wall Rose, close to Calanes. Within their safety rested Ruras calmness. If there was anything to happen to her family she was sure she would just start to rampage. And yet she had not taken any opportunity to goodbye them for that month properly. What a disgrace. If something happened in the meantime she would never be able to forgive herself. 

She distracted herself with humming a melody which had stuck in her head for quite a while now. Knowing exactly that it was one of the symphonies Levi had shown her a few days ago. 

“Put the broom away.”

Levi had been watching Rura for five minutes now. Long enough to see she had a good system to clean places up. Seemed like she had some experience with that. As he’d heard her humming the melody, the Captain suddenly had thought of something different. Did she remember the steps of the different dances? He had to check. And what better way was there but to dance?

“Huh? Levi? I just started cleaning.” Rura turned around to face the black haired man and put the broom away just as told, when she stopped mid-movement. Her eyes widened for a second and she had to bite her tongue to not let out an insulting laugh. Levi wore a piece of cloth in front of his mouth, though it now dangled under his chin, but what really got her was the cloth he had folded to put it on his air – just like old women used to do. It was hilarious and Rura had a hard time to not comment on that cloth; it surely helped that he had his muscular arms folded. Also, what was it that he could want right now? Did she miss something in one of the other rooms? Rura tried to focus on that so she would not break out in laughter eventually.

Without saying another word, the Captain grabbed Ruras hand and halfway forced her into the right dancing position. “I hope you remember the Cha Cha.”

_Oh no – why didn’t he ask for the waltz? Fuck, I hate the Cha Cha!_ “Of course.” Still a bit hesitant, Rura followed Levis steps as they danced through the empty room. _What if someone sees us?_ , the redhead wondered. This would definitely get the rumors going. Which was to be avoided since she then would have to gain distance between Levi and her. And Rura did not want to have any more distance between them both – she liked it the way it was. After all, she was slose to being pressed against his seemingly chiseled chest. It felt good. Though she had to admit that her hand held by his felt even better.

After she had finished cleaning these damned windows she had a sparse dinner; afterwards Sinia changed into a white dress with some blue patches on it. She was on a mission to search for Auruo. He had to at least show her the steps of the most important dances again for she hadn’t danced in quite a while. The last time had been a rather dreadful wedding of a distant cousin.

She couldn’t find him, so she decided to go and fetch Petra. That bubbly woman sure knew where her comrade was hanging around. Then again, maybe Auruo was with her, since he always seemed to be around Petra at every given occasion. It was obvious he was interested in her, that he wanted to get her attention. At least to Sinia.

The next hours Rura tried to hide where she was hanging around in the castle. Not that she didn’t like to dance with Levi, but he tended to drop by quite often, so she wasn’t even able to finish her tasks properly. The redhead wanted to get some things in her head clear and it would never work if the Captain visited her at least every hour. How on earth should she ever come to any conclusions like that? How was she supposed to clean anything up with all those dance-breaks? How was her brain to function properly with this living distraction messing up her mind?

Wandering around to find some fresh rags to dust the furniture, Rura saw Auruo, who definitely was spying on somebody. Cautiously she went on without making a sound to get a glimpse of what seemed to worry the guy in front of her.

“But Levi-heichou… I don’t understand. I thought we were going to go to the prom together?”

“We did not even talk about that, Petra.”

“But we went last year and I thought we’d…”

“We can talk about it now, if you wish.”

Auruo seemed to cringe at those words coming from the Captain, but kept listening. Rura knew exactly how the man felt, suppressing an annoyed yet almost angry sigh. How the hell could she have been so stupid to think, just because he taught her how to dance, he’d also accompany her to the prom? What a bullshit way to think about it.

“Oh. Okay. So… Levi-heichou”, Petra started slowly.

_Levi-_ heichou _, seriously? Isn’t his name enough?_ , Rura wondered, clenching one fist. _English is the official language, so why is she using the old traditional term? Only because it sounds better? Ah, but of course, she is way more his type than I’ll ever be. Petra is cute and loyal and calm and beautiful and actually smaller than him. And that’s why she can call him -heichou._ The redhead knew she should just skip it, get some rags and clean on, but she definitely could not. She was mad at Petra but most of all she was mad at herself. For making herself believe that Levi could come to like her somehow. Rura was enraged about the fact she had been so naïve.

Nervously licking her lips, she realized that she felt something else than anger, something she had just heard of many times: envy. It sat deep within her chest, perforating her heart with its acid, leaving a burning pain. Why could she not stop it with willpower? Why did it hurt although she told herself that things just were that way and that anger was better than sadness? And who had invented this terrible feeling in the first place? It was even worse than regret!

“I’d like you to-”

“Petra! Petra, I have a question!” That was the voice of Sinia! 

“Sinia?” That sounded almost glumly and Rura had to restrain the urge to run and hug Sinia like never before. The youngest of the friends was sure that the brunette had no idea what good deed she’d done for her today. “I’m coming. Talk to you later, Levi.”

At that moment Auruo turned around to leave the place – but of course he now saw Rura. They exchanged an awkward look.

“Do you know if the rags got laundered? I need some clean ones”, Rura suddenly improvised to loosen up the tension. 

“Uhm, yes. Yes, they’ve been actually. There should be some outside, drying.” Auruo even gave her a small smile, together with a nod, as he passed by her to get to his other duties. 

“Thanks, Auruo”, the redhead muttered, then glanced around the corner. Levi wasn’t to be seen so she could go on. There was no way Rura would dance with him in this aisle – there was no need for such behavior. She honestly didn’t know why he did it either way. Like he didn’t care about what the others were thinking. But that wasn’t true and Rura knew that, because Levi liked these guys. So he did have to care about their opinions. 

“What are you doing here?” The voice cut through the peaceful calm, causing Rura to almost jump at it.

“Huh? Petra?” _Well_ , Rura thought after she had recovered from the small shock, _she’s back quite fast_. She was about 100 percent sure the ginger woman had wanted Levi to wait here for her.

“Yes”, the smaller woman said. “I thought you were ordered to clean some rooms?” At least she tried to smile at the younger one.

“I am. But if there are no clean rags I can hardly work”, Rura shot back, not caring for a smile. “If you excuse me now.”

_Wow, I thought Sinia only has nice friends. But this one is just… somehow creepy. Maybe she can smell peoples thoughts out like Mike?,_ Petra thought. _Maybe this Kahina is a nicer person. I don’t know her at all, so there is still a chance…_

\--------

By now the light of the day had almost vanished, a dusty blue had claimed the sky above the old headquarter and heralded soon nightfall. Levis squad, as well as Rura, Sinia and Eren were sitting in the sparsely furnished dining room, attentive to what the Captain had to say.

But instead of Levi, Erd began to speak. “I expect we'll be on standby for a few more days, but I heard there are plans for a large-scale expedition in twenty-seven days. And we'll be joined by the new recruits who graduated recently.”

”Are you serious, Erd?”, Günther asked, throwing his colleague a questioning glance.

”Isn't that too early for them?”, Sinia wondered after taking a sip of her water. Most of the recruits still had to fight with their traumata from what had happened in Trost – who expected any of them to join the Recon Corps after that? They would all flee to the Garrison, the Military Police or any other occupation except hers.

”I agree with Sinia. It's rather sudden, especially since the latest Titan attack has undoubtedly taken its toll on them”, Günther went on. 

”The brats must've all lost their backbone.” Auruo lifted his mug to take a sip, his face a mask of smug arrogance.

Petra turned to look at Levi, who had not taken part in the conversation whatsoever until now. “Is that true, Captain?”

”I'm not in charge of drafting plans”, he simply stated. “But remember, this is Erwin doing them. I'm sure he's thinking much further ahead than us. I bet Sinia can confirm that.”

”Sure”, the Schütz nodded. “He is not one to go for short-sighted goals.”

Rura and Sinia threw each other meaningful glances – they, too, had the opinion that taking in young cadets was not clever. They had almost no experience with anything at all. Long expeditions, encounters with Titans of all sorts and so on. So why did Levi defend that plan like that? As if Erwin was not able to fail at his job. Not that Sinia had ever witnessed that, now that she came to think about it.

”Well, the situation itself is unusual”, Erd went on, his hands folded underneath his chin by now. “The route we advanced at the cost of countless sacrifices to recapture Wall Maria was erased in an instant. Then, suddenly, a completely different hope appeared.” His gaze wandered over to Eren, who flinched at that.

Funny enough, everybody except for Rura and Sinia looked at the teenage-boy, who seemed to tremble under their stares.

”I still find it hard to believe, but what exactly does it mean to transform into a Titan, Eren?” It seemed that Erd had more questions to come, but that one surely had bothered him the most.

Gulping, Eren lowered his head, his green eyes cloudy with deep thought. “My memories from that time aren't clear, but it felt like I had lost myself. I do know it's triggered through self-injury though. If I take my hand and...” He lifted his left hand towards his face – then stopped to talk and stared at his thumb, as if some thought had hit him hard.

However, Sinia and Rura had other problems to deal with right now. Although they were not able to sniff out people like Mike could, they sure read the room right. Agitation and fear built up at the table, it hung over it like thick fog. Sinia did not approve of that, not at all. How would they react once Eren did transform in order to train his ability?

”You guys are aware, aren't you?”, Levi suddenly asked while gently holding his cup of tea, careful not to let it fall. “The reports cover everything we know now. Well, I doubt she'll stay put either way.” He took a sip. “But she might go too far and ends up killing you, Eren.”

It was then when somebody loudly knocked against the door behind Levi, making Eren jump with anxiety.

\--------

“Okay, Auruo, I’ll tell you this straight away, because then things will be pretty easy”, Sinia murmured while walking towards Auruos’ room. “I know you love Petra, and I have someone to date right now. We’re doing this as comrades, no flirts, no awkward jokes, okay?” She sighed. She wasn’t good at all with such things. But she felt the need to bring out these facts so he would know that she wasn’t interested in him at all, even though there would be the need to give up on every personal space while dancing.

She wanted to knock at his door as she heard something very familiar emerging the room. It sounded suppressed, almost choked off. It was crying. _Oh dear, what happened?_ , Sinia thought, softly furrowing her brows. _What should I do? Can I just burst in? Isn’t that offensive? Oh no, but he suffers!_

Deciding that decency didn’t fit well for every case, Sinia slowly opened the door then silently entered the room. “Auruo?” Having a look around, she couldn’t see anybody. “Auruo? Are you here?” This was awkward. 

“Who’s there?” His voice, layered with soreness from sobbing, sounded as if he had to defend himself from something vicious. 

“It’s me, Sinia”, the brunette said, her voice soothing and calm. “Can I get you some tea?” Tea was always good for someone who suffered.

“No.”

“Water?” _Maybe he is hot with anger and needs something to cool him down?_

“No.”

“A cookie?” _At least Kahina calms down after being fed._

“… Maybe an apple?”

“Of course. I’ll be right back.”

Five minutes later Sinia entered the room again, this time without knocking. “Auruo, you can come out of your depression-hole. I’ve got apples, some cookies and hot milk with honey.” 

“You…” Auruo appeared in the bathroom door, his hair messy, his eyes red and swollen. “Why are you even here?” To him, Sinia looked like an angel right now, with all this lovely food and her appearance and the last light of day shining onto her.

“I wanted to practice dancing, but since you’re a mess today, I guess we’ll just hang around, chat and eat all the delicious things.”

“Well… it sounds better than being alone in my bathroom”, the young man slowly nodded his agreement, eyes filling with tears again. He tried to blink them away, rather unsuccessfully.

“Oh, Auruo.” Sinia put the tray onto the desk, hurried towards the man and hugged him tightly. “Don’t be sad! Come, sit down, drink a bit of the milk and then tell me what’s going on. You look miserable!”

“It’s… it’s because Petra _loves_ Levi!”

_Oh_. Sinia thought. _That is not good. Not what I expected._ She looked at Auruo, feeling sudden empathy for the young man. He wasn’t one of the most handsome guys or even one of the most intelligent. But still he was a skilled fighter and he had a good heart. And his heart had a special soft spot for Petra.

\------

“I have to show you something. Get up.”

“W-whoa! Who’s there?” Kahina jumped up, standing on her bed, legs a bit shaky. Who was there standing in her room, in front of her open window? It was in the middle of the night! Ready to fight off the intruder, she had her hands held up; still her heart pounded hard against her chest, her breath went fast and anxious.

“A bit jumpy tonight, aren’t you?”, the male intruder chuckled, then put off his cape. Azure eyes glistened at her in the darkness, blond hair shimmered in the milky moonlight.

“Erwin! You _sick bastard_! I almost had a heart attack!”, Kahina yelled and threw the next best book at him. Of course he evaded. How could he dare to shock her like that?! What the hell was he thinking! “What the fuck, man?!”

“Put on a jacket”, Erwin simply said, glad for the rude insult – and surprised she was able and willing to call him by his name. Why did he get the feeling that he could get used to that? To hide his temporary confusion, he closed her window, although it was not that cold outside. He did not want others to enter her home as easily as he had done. As he turned around again, he noticed Kahina was only wearing a shirt and panties. He forced himself to not stare at her figure. Which was well worth seeing after all. “We’re going outside.”

“Outside? What the hell are you talking about?”, Kahina asked while climbing out of the pile of pillows and blankets. In her bed was almost no place to sleep, it was more like she buried herself deep down in all things soft. Grabbing a long brown skirt off the floor, she went to face Erwin. “What is it that you can’t show any of your subordinates but me? I’m not even part of the Recon Corps.”

“Can’t you follow a single request?”, the Commander sighed, watching as Kahina put on the skirt. Pale moonlight dimly illuminated her well-shaped backside, for a split second it seemed her tanned skin was iridescent. Erwin rolled his eyes at himself. Well, her question was justified, yet he didn’t want to answer it. Not now, that it.

“Okay, okay. Let me put on shoes, will ya?”

“You won’t need shoes. It's not that far.”

“But I have to walk, don’t I?”

Two minutes later Kahina knew that she didn’t need to walk. Because Erwin was carrying her. Obviously it was something _really_ important. In order to not lose her balance, Kahina had her arms around Erwins neck, whilst he carried her bridal style. This felt more than a bit strange, no guy ever had even considered doing something like that. Then again, she had never had a guy to carry her around.

“Where are you taking me?”, she asked nonchalantly.

But of course Erwin did not answer. So she just sighed and leaned her head against his strong and broad shoulder. This Commander really was annoying. Why the hell had she agreed to come to the prom? Closing her eyes, Kahina quickly fell asleep again.

As he reached the almost isolated slope, Erwin stopped. “We’re there.” He wanted to let her down, but realized just in time that the young woman in his arms was fast asleep. _She looks at peace._

_But still, he had to wake her, after all he wanted to show her something. “Krylow, wake up.”_

”Uh...” Kahina yawned and struggled to stand up but failed. Something held her! Alarmed she opened her eyes widely. Which led to staring into Erwins blue eyes. “What the bloody hell?!”

“Did you forget, I wanted to show you something.”

“Oh.” She stopped cursing, blinking at Erwin. “Oh. Yes. Yeah. Mind letting me down?”

“Nope.” It sounded as if he tried to be humorous.

_Did he just say_ nope _?! Where’d he get that word from?_ , Kahina wondered while Erwin let her down to stand on her own, bare feet.

“Here. Sit on it.” The Commander took off his cape – having Kahina stare at him in disbelief, thinking _Again, what the hell happened to this guy?!_ – gave it to her and started rummaging through his brown bag. The young Krylow watched him closely, not sure what to think about all this. Maybe he tried to kidnap her? But why? Finally he stood straight again, looking at Kahina, who still had his cape in her hands, staring at him. “Please, sit.”

“Okay.” With a thumping noise Kahina dropped herself onto the ground, pulling the cape around her neck instead of sitting on it. Although it was a warm night, with a cape around ones shoulders it was always warmer. And cuddlier. But the fuck needed Erwin know this. Kahina was too tired for such explanations.

\-------

She was still awake, couldn’t find any sleep at all, although the night was warm and calm. Nothing could disturb the stillness this place seemed to emit – maybe it was exactly that fact which unsettled Rura so much. She always had some sort of noise around her, someone speaking, some animals walking around. At her home there always were noises. The absence of such caused her to feel nervous. 

Staring into the dark sky, she wondered why the hell she even was going to that prom if nobody accompanied her. And Rura wouldn’t ask anyone, that for sure. She had her pride. Also, she was shy; though nobody needed to know about that. So, her partner would be her pride in that case.

“Why are you awake?”

_Oh nooo_ , Rura almost sighed. _I really like you, but I got no nerve for fucking waltz or cha-cha or rumba or whatever sinister dance you thought of now._ Despite her thoughts about dancing, the redhead liked the fact that Levi actually had climbed that roof to find her. Or had he come here for his own reasons, not thinking about her? Even so, Rura thought that highly winsome. _He_ was winsome. “I can't sleep.”

“So you climbed up here without your gear?” He sat down at her side, not looking at Rura. Even if he tried to ignore it, the young Ledoux was quite special – not in a bad way, much rather in an interesting one. Nobody would have come up here without gear just because one suffered sleeplessness.

“It’s nice here”, she explained, leaving the fact aside that she really enjoyed the indistinct sounds of the night. In her room all sound was shut out.

Levi just _tch_ -ed, then threw her a side-glance. Obviously she had tried to sleep before, because Rura wore her pajamas. Draped over her shoulders was the Recon Corps cape to warm her if necessary, her feet were bare. She wasn’t wearing any make-up right now – now that he thought about it, she never had done so. _With these lashes_ , Levi caught himself thinking, _nobody would need something to accent them._

They sat in silence for some time, staring into the sky, Rura counting stars, Levi questioning himself because he was not sure how to categorize the thoughts he had about the redhead at his right side. He had no right to think so and also he didn’t want to think like this. What did this woman do to his brain? And how did she do so?

“You should go to bed”, Levi suddenly said, his voice dark and low.

“Why is that?”

“The next days will be exhausting. Not only will you receive training from Erd, but we have to dance as well. Not to start with Hanji. There won’t be many breaks in between for you.”

“Well, I do not need that much sleep, anyway”, Rura slowly replied, not looking at Levi. She would not ask him if he wanted to accompany her to the prom. She would not. Also she had just lied to him – feeling just a tiny bit bad about it. In truth she loved sleep. Not as much as hanging around with Sinia and Kahina, but still.

“Which is a good trait within this branch, but you will have to be fit and balanced”, the Captain advised, getting an odd feeling. Somehow he sensed that this young woman next to him was not being honest with him. What was she trying to hide? Had it something to do with the fact that he forced her to dance all the time? Should Levi probably stop doing it? But then again, he was too egoistic to do that. Rura was a fine dancer and he would not let that talent wither because she thought it was annoying.

“I promise, I’ll be fit and balanced”, Rura said, finally glancing over to Levi. Why did he look so handsome? And why was he still wearing the outfit he had worn the whole day? It was way past midnight! The only point to his favor was the fact he had put off the cloth which had covered his hair.

“Good.” He didn’t make any attempt to stand up and leave.

That was when Rura almost lost her nerve. _I cannot do that_ , she thought angrily. _I have to leave or else I’m going to say stupid things because of this inconvenient hot turmoil inside my head!_ Hastily she got up and made her way back to the edge of the roof. “Good night, Levi.” To prevent anything awkward, like Levi saying _Good night_ as well, Rura hurried to climb down the wall by using windowsills and some rough stones. 

On her way to her room, Rura met Sinia in the hallway. The brunette looked terribly worried, carrying some damping drink with her. “Yo, Sinia, are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh Rura. What are you doing up?”

“Can't sleep. Same question.”

“Auruo has heartache”, Sinia explained and smiled at Rura. “I guess that’s not an actual sickness, but still…”

“Oh, it is. It’s called the broken heart syndrome. The rhythm of the heart changes, it partly even stops beating, causing stronger contractions. The chest feels tight. That’s the pain. It’s almost similar to angina pectoris, but not that dramatic. Its cause is, as you know, psychological”, the redhead informed her friend, then furrowed her brows. “Why is he having a heartache? I thought Auruo doesn’t give a shit about anything, considering the way he talks.”

“He really cares.” Sinia implied Rura to follow her. “You see, he really wants everybody to get along. And he is into Petra. And Petra is into Levi. And Auruo thinks, just because Levi is his rival in that matter, he stands no chance, because the Captain is fucking brilliant.”

_He is fucking brilliant_ , Rura nodded her agreement. _Auruo stands no chance against-_

“But then I came to think that _you_ are into Levi as well. And I thought: Why not give it a shot and try to hook Petra up with Auruo? It would increase your chances with Levi and it would end all this annoying nagging from these two.”

“Eh… what?” Rura thought that this somehow escalated quickly. The kind of ideas Sinia entertained seemed rather scandalous to the younger woman. Though she had to admit that she thought them to be brilliant.

“You know you like my idea.” Sinia winked knowingly.

\--------

_What is he doing? Why am I not allowed to see what he has there?_ Kahina sat on the almost warm ground and did not move, watching Erwin closely. At least she tried. All she could see was the Commanders backside – which was a partial compensation to what she really thought interesting right now. Which was not Erwins nice ass. But she couldn’t fail to notice his trained legs and how the fabric of his trousers strained at his perfectly shaped and luscious butt-cheeks. She pulled his cape tighter around her shoulders.

“So, done.” Erwin turned around to see Kahinas face. Somehow he had expected her to almost explode behind there, but she just stared at him, her neck a bit stretched as if she wanted to see what he was doing quite badly.

“Okay”, she slowly said. “What is it?”

“Give it a minute.” The blond man sat down at Kahinas side, noticing the fact she was coiled into his cape.

Both stared at the little glow which clambered up the small string. That string was attached to something probably made out of cardboard. It had a cylindrical shape and was colored black with yellowish dots on it. The colors were rather faded.

“What is that?”, Kahina asked, staring at that thing.

“I don’t know. I found it.”

“Where the fu-… where would you find something like that?” Although she wanted to sound rude, fascination and curiosity got the better of her.

But Erwin could not answer, for the very second the glow disappeared the thing started to make some weird noises. Some kind of splutter and fizzling. The sound caused Kahina to almost jump, with one swift movement she halfway hid behind Erwin, her arms clutched around his right arm.

Mesmerized they stared at it – and suddenly golden and silverish sparks were shooting out of it, almost three meters high into the sky. The sparks looked like stars, lightening up a small radius around the thing. But there weren’t only golden sparks but also white ones and even some orange ones. It wouldn’t stop sputtering out stars like that for almost two minutes.

Kahina gazed at it in pure awe, her jaw dropping open without her recognizing. What kind of magic was that? It was beautiful. All these sparks and lights and the night around it - simply breathtaking. “That’s wonderful.”

“Hm?” He looked down onto the young woman who was all caught in the sight in front of her. Erwin had to admit that it was nice and exotic, but he had to stick to his intention. In order to hear Kahina, he slightly bowed his head. “What did you say?”

“It’s wonderful”, Kahina repeated, still stunned. Then she looked at Erwin. And felt a far away sting of regret. Because he sure wanted to show her something beautiful and probably come closer to her and she was just thinking about all those damn cool sparkles and not about his enchanting eyes. Well, having thought about that, he really had eyes to bewitch.

Then she realized just how close the man was – which was no wonder for she still clung onto his arm, pressing her breasts against him. _Oh shit_. Fact was, Erwin radiated some sort of heat, because Kahinas torso didn’t feel cold at all. And that wasn’t thanks to the cape. _Oh damn no, I think he’s hot. Oh, please, no. Do not smile at me._

“It is”, Erwin said, smiling. He wanted to look away. Because it almost hurt how innocent Kahina seemed in this moment. Stunned and in awe and with her eyes shimmering, her tousled hair framing her face she had lost all the edges others saw in her. Still she was pressed against him. He could not help himself but to think her adorable. _Maybe like a stray-kitten_ , Erwin added just to mock himself.

_Yeah shit, he smiled and he’s like the most honest and blunt and adorable man I’ve ever met._ The young Krylow forced herself to look at the sparkly thing again in order to prevent Erwin from reading her mind. Sometimes she was sure he was able to do that.

At that moment Erwin almost was tempted to pull her closer – until, that is, she turned her head away from him. Though he felt a slight sting of disappointment, Erwin was thankful she had done so. This woman did do nothing but plant weird ideas into his head. There he felt her shuffling.

_This is going to be awkward,_ Kahina suddenly realized as the sparkling had ended. _I’m going to make this as chill as possible._ “Okay, thanks for showing me this.” Standing up, Kahina gave Erwin back his cape. Immediately after that, goosebumps appeared on her arms. “That really was amazing. Good night, Commander.” 

She was about to walk away as she suddenly felt his strong, warm hand grabbing hers.

“For you it’s Erwin.” Then he let go.

And Kahina almost ran home, barefooted as she was. _I’ve made a huge mistake._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gonna make any excuses from this point on because like... we all know what we're in for here I guess.


	15. Early Morning Blues

**_Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings (Robert Bloch)_ **

“So, in twenty-seven days we’re to go outside the walls to build a stronghold of the supply chain? Not to mention we’ll be taking fresh graduates with us, too.”

“Oh dammit, speak louder, I can’t hear a thing!”, Kahina mumbled, her right ear pressed against the wooden door. Inside the office were Mike Zacharias and Erwin, discussing important stuff. She wanted to know what this all was about before joining the Recon Corps. Although she already had told Erwin she intended to come along to the prom, she still was not sure about it – maybe she wanted to go back on that, depending on the new information.

“If we even get any new recruits, that is”, was Erwins stern reply.

To Kahina it sounded like he was drawing something with a ruler or the likes. What the fuck were they doing in there? What kind of mission were they discussing?

“In my opinion, this is far too hasty.”

 _Mike has a point_ , the Krylow thought. _And damn, speak louder._

”Erens current position is a temporary thing. We must quickly and smoothly prove his usefulness to Central. Otherwise, sooner or later, the Police will make another move to-“

“Can’t you take that mask off at least for me, Erwin?”, Mike interrupted his Commander. Silence followed his words.

The young woman eavesdropping at the door almost suffocated by the pent-up tension.

“You’re really good at sniffing out things and people like this, Mike.”

 _Oh, really, is he?_ Kahina thought. _Wait. Does he mean that literally? Or metaphorically? But what_ if _Mike can smell the character of people? I wonder what scent I have, then. Wait. Obviously the scent of shit, judging from how most people think of me. But I bet I smell like the best chocolate ever! And Sinia smells like strawberry vanilla cream topped with cinnamon, oh my gosh! And Rura is a badass and tasty caramel apple served with cherries! This is ridiculous. I love it._

“Too bad you have no scent whatsoever.”

_Wait, that is not so cool. Why hasn’t Erwin any scent? Mike, go check your nose. This can't be._

“I’ll tell you when the time is right”, was Erwins mysterious answer. And the conversation was obviously ended with that.

 _What an absolute waste of time,_ Kahina thought while strolling down the aisle. _No useful information, just the fact that Mike has a cold. Or whatever._ All that trouble sneaking into that building for merely a bit of fun – which she had provided herself.

“Next time, don’t stand that close to the door. I can smell you.”

She hadn’t even heard him leave the office. Damn! How could she have been that distracted? “Well, then what do I smell like?” She shot back and turned to face Mike, who stood a few meters away.

“As far as I can tell, you smell...” With a thoughtful expression he approached Kahina and bent down to sniff on her neck – she did not move, too taken aback by that. His hair tickled her ear as he nodded as if to approve of something. “You smell like an approaching thunderstorm.”

“Why not chocolate?” _An approaching thunderstorm. What the fuck does that smell like? Do I smell like … nothing? Great._

“You’re not to everybody's taste.”

She wanted to go away, because this had been quite rude, but decided to do otherwise. “Yo, Mike, got something to do right now?”

”No.” He furrowed his brows at that question. 

”Well, wanna hang out with a bad bitch then?”

“This sounds shady”, Mike responded, but didn’t leave either. Somehow that bold person was quirky enough to spark some amusement within him.

“Because I _am_ shady”, Kahina grinned.

And Mike decided, against better judgment, to try and hang out with a bad bitch. After all, he had nothing else to do today. And really, what could go wrong?

”So... what were you talking about in there?”, Kahina bluntly asked while they were heading for the local market. The streets were filled with playing children and women who were busy laughing and talking. A young paperboy stood at a nearby corner, urging the inhabitants to buy todays newspaper, waving with such in his right hand.

”You eavesdropped, should you not know?”, the Major countered her question, his hands buried in the pockets of his trousers. Although he still did not know what to think about the Krylow, he sure was content to enjoy such a nice, sunny day.

Kahina let out a cheeky laugh, then crossed her arms behind her head. “Sure, but I only got half of what the two of you said.”

”Hm.”

They went on in silence for a little while, both enjoyed the warm sun on their faces, the bustling ambient noise and the soft breeze tickling their noses. From time to time Kahina threw Mike rather conspicuous side-glances – at the fifth time she finally had him chuckle at her stare.

”You don't talk much”, she noticed, not caring to take her eyes off his captivating face.

”No.” Shaking his head, Mike could not help but throw her a short glance. It was hard to believe that this person was the same who had cost Erwin so much nerve – right now the Krylow did not seem to seek trouble, much more she radiated some sort of relaxation. The Major sighed. “We talked about the upcoming expedition. I guess your friends will take part in it as well.”

Kahina stopped dead on the street, her brows furrowed as she stared at Mike. He was right, her friends would most likely take part in any future operations of the Recon Corps. And if she stayed away, how would she be able to save Rura or Sinia from harm? Not at all. The immense mortality-rate crossed her mind for a moment, but Kahina banished that thought.

Noticing that he was walking halfway alone now, Mike turned around to see where the younger woman was. Though the street behind him was filled with people, he spotted her immediately – not only because of her smell. “Are you alright?”, Mike asked loud enough for her to hear.

”Sure!”

\--------

The next day started with a non-existent and therefore cancelled breakfast, because someone had decided to eat up all the apples and drink all the milk of a whole days ration. Rura had a strong suspicion about who it could have been, but the hell would she do and tell Levi or Hanji about it.

“So hungry…” Günther staggered through the hall, still wearing his sleeping pants – actually these were his boxers – and a ragged t-shirt. His brown hair was messy and his eyes still half closed. “Why's there no food?”

“Someone ate it!”, Petra called out, horrified by the fact someone could be so gruesome to steal away others food.

 _Well_ , Sinia thought whilst not participating in the debate, _the world is a cruel place and ironically enough I’m stuffed._ She had to suppress a dirty grin, glancing at Auruo, who had just eyes for the ginger woman. The only thing she hoped for was that he did not feel the urge to confess to Petra that he had kind of been the reason for the missing breakfast.

“Damn, I had to stand up for nothing to eat?” Erd entered the room, forcing his blond hair into a small ponytail. Wearing no shirt but his white trousers he showed off his toned physique in the most casual way.

 _Dammit, I know why his wife wanted to marry him that fast_ , Rura and Sinia thought at the same time, trying to check him out without anybody noticing. He had ripped abs and tanned skin and boy, did he have a nice backside.

“What do you think, Sinia?”, Levi suddenly asked. “Isn’t it irksome to not have breakfast?”

 _Does he know?_ Acting normal, the brunette blinked at the Captain. “I’m too tired to care for food. I need some warm drink, that’s all.” That was a lie, but nobody needed to know the truth, honestly. It wouldn’t better the situation, at least not for her. And a worsening was avoidable.

“Petra, get Sinia a warm drink”, Levi said and the ginger left the room, sighing.

“You can’t use her as a slave!”, Sinia called out, enraged by the way Levi treated his subordinates. They deserved better than to be pushed around to his liking.

“I asked her to get you a warm drink”, he just responded. “I did not order her.”

“Well, it sounded like an order”, Rura interfered, siding with Sinia. If Levi wanted Sinia to have a warm drink so badly, he better fetch it himself. That was her opinion and she didn’t mind sharing it. 

“Good morning guys!!”

Levi just tch-ed as Hanji entered the room, wide awake and in a good mood. Everyone else – except Sinia and Rura – rolled their eyes at the Major. 

“Is Rura here?”, Hanji called out, having a look around the room. “We want to start with the experiments as fast as possible!”

“I’m here”, Rura said, raising her right hand. She still wore her pajamas, her red curls were quite not in order anymore. First of all – before experimenting with Titans – she wanted to fix that. “Can I have a minute to get dressed?”

“Of course. We’ll meet in ten minutes here again!”

Smiling, Rura left the room. Finally she’d get to do something useful. It for sure wouldn’t be her favorite thing to do, causing living things pain, but she thought it maybe even more important than treating sick people. As soon as humans knew more about these creatures, they’d be able to develop a better defense against the Titans. Eventually it would help humans to survive. 

Sinia decided to take a shower, or at least clean herself somewhere where nobody was able to watch her, and headed for the door. But Levi stepped right in her way, blocking it. His gray eyes glared at her and the young woman got the feeling that he really did know, however that could be.

“Levi?” She cocked her head. “Can I help you?”

“No”, he responded coldly. The Captain just wanted to add something, but at that moment Petra re-entered the room, holding a mug with damping milk in her hands.

“I hope you like warm milk. The tea is… we ran out of tea.” With that, she gave the brunette the mug, a small smile on her lips.

“Warm milk will do just fine”, Sinia said, understanding the fact that the tea wasn’t meant for her. She thought that maybe only Levi and Hanji were allowed to drink some. Which would be quite rude. “Thank you very much, Petra.”

“Oh, no problem.” Smiling, the ginger joined Erd and Auruo who still complained about the canceled breakfast.

The brunette was stunned at how good an actor the heartbroken man was. She just hoped that his feelings were true, because she didn’t want to steal food for nothing. Maybe she needed to talk to him later, just to make sure she hadn’t made a mistake.

“Levi, I’d like to use the door”, Sinia informed the Captain in the most friendly manner, since he was still blocking her way.

“I know it was you”, Levi said instead of moving. He stared at her with cold anger. “If you can’t give me a good reason, I will make sure everybody will know who is responsible for their empty stomachs.”

“Excuse me, wherefore am I responsible?”, she asked innocently. He had no evidence whatsoever. He was bluffing, for sure.

“You stole the food.”

“Levi, with all due respect, you are a great Captain, but you suck at being a detective”, Sinia chuckled and forced herself through the small gap between the door frame and Levi to escape this unlucky situation. She felt like she had done that very well.

But maybe she’d come to regret that later, to call him a shitty detective. While thinking about it, the brunette was quite sure she would regret that – knowing Levi, rather sooner than later. Consulting Rura would be a good idea if it came to think about ways to evade a punishment. Yeah, she’d ask the redhead later. After finishing the milk. After the shower. And then Sinia would’ve forgotten about it. She knew she would never ask.

\-------

“Hey, Mike, how does that person over there smell like? He looks like an idiot!”

“As I told you before, I can smell people within a certain radius – much more important is that I can smell Titans from afar”, Mike sighed, taking a sip of his water. She had invited him for lunch to her favorite place and now they could watch all kinds of people walk by. Although they had been hanging out yesterday, he had accepted her spontaneous suggestion to meet again.

“Can you still smell them if I hold something underneath your nose? Like, I don’t know, a handkerchief smelling like rotting rats?” Asking this, the young Krylow bit into a piece of bread, chewing without caring for any manners. 

“It’s difficult to explain”, the older man tried to evade the awkward question. Sure, she was interested in his skill and seemingly loved to hear about the people of the Recon Corps – but there had to be a reason why she was talking to him. After all she had rejected Erwins offer to join them until now. There was no official statement that she now was a member of the Survey Corps.

“Okay, okay! Then… uhm… what else can I ask you?” She furrowed her brows and bit her lower lip.

“Wait, let me ask you a question first”, Mike quickly said, taking that opportunity. “Why did you ask me to meet you again anyway? It’s not like we know each other very well.”

“But I wanna get to know you”, Kahina smiled brightly. Which wasn’t even a lie, Mike seemed to be chill and serious at the right time but kind of funny, too. “That’s how friends are made, ain’t it?”

“Technically, yes”, he answered, not even trying to hide his wonder. “But why me? You know other people better than me. For example some from the Garrison. You even know Erwin better than me, I guess.”

“Eh, yeah, but they seem to be hatin’ on me, so I don’t really want to see 'em right now, you see?”, Kahina sighed and stared into Mikes greenish eyes. Maybe he had not noticed she hadn’t answered his question about Erwin. Would he even get what she had said since she had used her slang that much?

“All right, this explains the Garrison – but why not joining the Recon Corps and become friends with Erwin, since he has spent some time with you?”

“Ah, yeah, Erwin. He’s... special, I guess. I don’t know what to think about him and my instinct won’t help me this time.” That was a lie, her instincts told her to scratch Erwins eyes out while rubbing her face onto his chest – but these were facts Mike definitely didn’t need to know. “Which covers with your disability to sniff him out, right, Mr. Sniffles?”

“Did you just-”

The waiter came by and Kahina raised her hand, causing him to stop at their table. “Two slices of bread with bacon on it. And two glasses of water, please.” Then she turned to face Mike again, who stared at her in disbelief. “What?”

“You called me Mr. Sniffles.” _What the hell is she thinking? And why don’t I just leave?_

“Isn’t that exactly describing you?” _He hasn’t left yet. Oh my gosh, he's gonna be a best friend!_


	16. Thrill of Experiments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wheras Titans are Titans and Hanji is Hanji - dragging Rura along towards knowledge and other freaky shit.

“Wow, they really aren’t that scary like they always seem!”

“Right?! They’re great!” Hanji pointed at the two Titans which were chained to the ground with dozens of spears made of steal as well as actual chains. They were immobilized, granting the two women the chance to get closer to them.

“It’s interesting, though”, Rura mentioned, nodding towards the spears.

“Huh?”

“The way you immobilized them. Won’t they just smash everything here in order to get free?”

“Actually we had to deal with that kind of problem in the very beginning, but the piercings and spears and chains work just perfectly. They’re hardly able to move but still can express emotions if necessary”, Hanji explained, stepping in front of the Titan which was sitting. “This is Sawney. He’s not so good with expressing himself, he just tries to bite my head off.” The 4 meter class Titan with blond hair and blue eyes seemed really interested in devouring Hanji, concluding from the looks he gave her. But the researcher just laughed, patted his foot and went on to the other Titan which lay in an awkward angle on the floor, pinned down by spears, watching her greedily. “And this is Bean. He’s not very active, but I like him nonetheless.”

“It’s amazing you were actually able to catch them”, Rura noticed and stepped closer to Bean. “Do you think I can touch him?” She really wanted to feel his hair, his skin. Did it fell like human hair? Like human skin? Would it react to her touch? If so, how? Her interest was kindled.

“Of course, just be careful, I guess they don’t make a difference between our heads, as long as they end up in their stomachs”, Hanji grinned and watched Rura as the redhead confidently walked up to Bean, the 7 meter class. _She’s interested and courageous,_ Hanji thought in the meantime. _It was a good decision from Erwin to recruit her, she’ll be a great researcher._

Standing right behind Beans’ head, Rura felt a bit uncomfortable, but who would not since there was a Titan right in front of her. Slowly she reached out to touch the Titans hair but had to stop right before she actually could touch it. “Hanji – do they get a lot of attention … like affection … from you?”

“Sadly not enough”, the older woman sighed and kept staring at what Rura was doing. _Interesting question,_ she noticed, _like Titans are somehow like humans. Just what I’ve thought a lot of times before._

It felt surprisingly soft and silky. Tentatively she stroked the hair a bit more, without letting her guard down. But it felt strange to just touch it. She wouldn’t like that either. Clearing her throat, Rura avoided looking at Hanji, because she didn’t want her to see how stupid the redhead felt for doing the following.

“Hello Bean. My name is Rura Ledoux and I’m a member of the Recon Corps. I’m twenty-four years old and I’m a doctor. I treat humans and animals. My brothers are Josse and Lucien, my older sister is Pierrette. She’s married and has two adorable children.” Rura stopped and started tickling the skin of the Titans’ head. “I guess your favorite food is human, but I prefer things like vegetables or chicken or cheese.”

At that moment Bean shuffled a bit, causing Rura to stop in the middle of her movement, but she didn’t jump back. And Bean didn’t turn around or anything – the Titan simply couldn’t – but it was enough for Rura to decide to spend more time with Bean. 

_That girl is amazing,_ Hanji decided. _I need her to stick with me and learn everything. She’s the fearless generation. Must not forget to thank Erwin._

\-------

Mike wondered how so many people were able to think badly about Kahina. After spending two more hours with her, walking around, sitting in the grass, watching clouds and talking about the outside world and their opinions on the government and other things he knew that she actually was a nice girl. It really was delightful to spend time with her. To the Major the Krylow now seemed open minded, honest and even kind of lovely. Her outspoken, cheerful nature was a welcome distraction from what he usually was talking about.

“This all sounds so awesome! I want to see the outside world! I want to go wherever I want and nothing stops me! Mike – if we ever defeat the Titans and don’t need them nastly Walls anymore, can you show me around?” Excited Kahina rolled around until she lay closer to Mike, staring at him gleefully, though his eyes were still closed.

“Won’t you have a look around with Sinia and Rura?”

“You’ll be our guide, then.”

“Sure, why not?”, he finally said without opening his eyes. This had to be the most relaxed day in his entire life so far. “So, are you going to join us now or how should I interpret that?”

“Well, I promised Erwin to accompany him to the prom. And since there are only members of the cool gangs allowed, seems like I have to join one of ‘em”, Kahina grinned and tapped her right index finger on Mikes’ nose. “Mr. Sniffles, do you have a date for the prom?”

“No… I don’t. Why do you ask?” Now he found it necessary to give the young woman a warning look. He still had to get used to her calling him Mr. Sniffles; also, if he had a date or not was none of her business. He was thirty-seven and way out of her league. Well, thinking of it, Erwin was as well.

“Why don’t you?”

“I didn’t ask someone out up to now”, he replied, sitting up.

“Don’t you have girlfriend you can ask?” Kahina looked up at him, resting her chin on her hands.

“You’re quite curious, Krylow.”

“Nah, I’m just being rude, putting the boot in. I know you’re neither married nor do you have a girlfriend”, she grinned and got up onto her feet. “At the prom, what kind of music will there be?”

“Classy music, why?”

“So no street music with drums and trumpets and string basses or pianos?”

“Rather not. I think it’ll be piano and violins.” And Mike thought what kind of street music Kahina meant. He had never heard of anything like that. And he was sure he had seen more places than she had in her life.

“That’s sad. I guess these upper-class idiots don’t know how to party”, she said, offering Mike her right hand. “Get up, Mike. I have to go now – and I think you’ll have to prepare some shit as well.”

“All right.” Smiling, he took her hand – but pulled her down, causing her to yell in surprise as she halfway fell onto him. “But before I go, I need to know... are you ticklish?”

”I ain't!”, she called out but could not suppress a revealing laugh, while trying to crawl off Mike. He was faster and his hands found her waist was extremely ticklish, causing her to laugh tears while she playfully tried to evade him. He only stopped as both were out of breath and Kahinas cheeks flushed.

Now it was Mike who got up and offered her his hand, which she took. An amused huff escaped her as she noticed the green stains on his beige shirt.

Grinning at her, Mike scratched the back of his head. “Mind hanging around more often?”

”If you don't mind having me around.”

Both smirked.

\--------

“Alright Auruo, today we’re going to dance, okay?”, Sinia asked as she entered the room of the man after a short knock. All rooms were tidy and clean and fresh – the brunette wanted to throw some dirt in this cleanliness. Mostly because she didn’t like perfectionism. Nothing and nobody was perfect. 

“Sinia? Why are you here already?”

“Because it’s eleven in the morning and I don’t want to waste any more time”, she suggested, opening his window. “I need you to teach me how fine dancing works. Do you have a phonograph with you?”

Since she knew there would be dancing, Sinia had wanted to bring her favorite music with her. And it wasn’t Bach or Mozart or stuff like that. It was something her father called trash, but Sinia and Kahina loved to dance to it – they called it funky dance.

Only Rura had never danced with them, neither of them knew why. There hadn’t been the opportunity to, somehow. But of course there were no phonograph records of this music, since it was street music. Nobody would record it. Not to mention that nobody really knew how that worked anyway. The records that were used to dance to were from former centuries and still mysterious to everyone.

“Ehm… yes, I do.” Auruo stepped out of the bathroom, only wearing a towel around his hips, his hair still wet, water dripping down his trained body. “But I’m afraid I can’t dance like that.”

“Oh, oh… I’m… terribly sorry! Please, put on some clothes. I won’t look!” Sinia turned around, focussing on the music she longed for; in her head she could already hear the heavy and fast beat, feel the dark double bass vibrations. How she missed dancing to that – there was a clear rhythm which led your steps. Or rather: Elegant stomps. 

While the brunette thought about these extreme dance evenings, Auruo put on a shirt and brown trousers and cleared his throat to signal Sinia that she could turn around again. 

“All right, what kind of music did you think about?”, Auruo asked.

“First things first. You do know how to dance the Cha-Cha and Rumba and Waltz?”

“Of course.”

“All right, then let’s just refresh these.” And suddenly, Sinia didn’t know why, she wanted to get away from here. Out of this place. She wanted to be with her friends, playing cards and not thinking about any proms or tasks or whatnot.

“Okay. Will Mozart do?”

“Mozart is great”, Sinia almost sighed. Who on earth could like Mozart? Not enough bright music, too much darkness, too much minor.

They got into dancing position and listened closely to the music to find the cadence to dance the waltz to. Auruo was a surprisingly good dancer, he didn’t step onto her feet, he knew his steps and he knew hers as well – just as well as he knew how to hold her all the time. Sinia hadn’t expected this. Really not. After a while she even had fun dancing with him.

“You’re a good dancer”, she admitted, nodding at the man.

“Thanks. I can only return that compliment”, Auruo smiled brightly.

 _Oh no, he thinks I dance like a total beginner. Nobody can be that nice without lying, except me_ Sinia thought, but decided to not waste time on these ideas. She was here to dance and she’d do that. 

“With whom are you going to go to the prom?”, the man asked, while swirling Sinia around.

“I don’t know yet, maybe I’ll ask Günther”, she said, all of a sudden seeing the chance to start her plan. “And you? I bet Petra is going to accompany you!”

“Petra? No, she’s totally into Levi. She’s going to ask him out. I guess I’m just going alone, like every year.” He tried to look away. 

“But I heard Levi’s going with someone else.”

_Here we go, this might just work out._

\------

“So, do you have any special procedure with the Titans you caught?”, Rura asked while watching Sawney and Bean with Hanji. Both women sat on a bench, having their own thoughts. 

“Yes. First, we attempt communication. Just like you did. Most of the men are afraid that I’m getting too close to the Titans – just as close as you were. They’re scared, but you are not allowed to be scared around the Titans. You wouldn't like me if I was afraid to talk to you, right?”, Hanji started to tell and stared at Rura. 

“No, I wouldn’t like that I guess”, she nodded in agreement, gazing towards the Titans. “Do you think they understand us? Because I hope so. I wish they understand the things we tell. Just so they don’t feel all alone, caged in here.”

“You feel pity for them? Even though they ate humans?” The Major was surprised by that attitude. Most of people just wanted to kill the Titans for what they were or did. Not many seemed to care for those creatures. 

“Well… it’s not pity. I wouldn’t say so. But look at them. Something drives them to feed on us. They don’t need human flesh or any flesh at all to survive, right? They don’t digest. So why eating humans? There must be a reason or something somehow … like.. ordering them to do so. I don’t know. But I don’t blame only them for the terror they brought upon mankind”, Rura tried to explain her thoughts about that topic. It was difficult and she was afraid she’d make a fool of herself, but as she looked at Hanji, the Major smiled at her. A warm and sincere smile. “Sorry, I got off the topic. What are we going to do now?”

“Now? Now we’re going to deny them sunlight”, Hanji said, standing up. “My fellow men! Build up the tents! Let no light reach the Titans!”

“Why tents? Why denying them light?”

“They’re remarkably less active while nighttime – it’s quite interesting. You have to see it yourself. Do you want to watch Bean in the tent?”

“Yes, thank you! If it doesn’t bother you.” Rura was glad she could be with the Titan she wanted to make her semi-friend. She wanted to communicate with him no end, curious if he really wasn’t showing any reaction but biting! “Wait – so they get their power from sunlight?” That sounded awful. Because mankind was neither able nor willing to turn off sunlight. They needed it. Seemingly just like the Titans.

“It seems so. But you see, every Titan reacts different to darkness. Some can move longer than others. It’s very interesting.”

“So if we manage to make all our missions in the night, wouldn’t that be helpful? There wouldn’t be any Titans around the first time and the Recon Corps could travel a long distance before the first encounter”, the redhead mentioned, lifting the entrance of the tent. In there it was really dark. How the hell was she supposed to see if Bean was going to bite her?

“It can be helpful, but only if we plan it correctly. And Erwin is the one who plans these things.” Hanji went over to Rura, giving her an already lit lantern. “Here, you’ll need it. Write down the time until Bean falls to sleep”, she then ordered and left Rura, entering Sawneys tent. 

“All right, Bean, I’m coming in and I don’t care if you’re naked or not”, Rura announced, earning chuckles from the guys who had to stand at watch. Then she entered the tent, closed the thick curtain behind her and stared at Bean. The Titan stared back. “Beany-boy, this is the begin of a wonderful friendship, if you want it to happen or not.”

Slowly she sat down, crossing her legs and leaning against one of the wooden pillars which held the tent up. “Actually, I’m a bit tired myself, though I’m up for just a few hours. I tell you, Beany, all this stuff is really unnerving. Why can’t you talk? I wish you could talk. We’d have a nice chat, talking about the weather, your nudity, our hair and the fact why you don’t have an anus. It would be brilliant and we’d enjoy ourselves and then I’d invite you to a cup of tea.” Sighing, she stood up again, stepping to the back of Beans’ head. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to lean against you.” Without waiting for an answer, Rura sat down again, leaning against Beans’ soft hair and yawning into it.

“You’re a good pal, Beany. I can tell you everything and you won’t spread the news. Maybe I’ll just start, right? It’s nice here, I have to tell. Everyone is so nice and they like each other a lot. Though, this makes it hard to really integrate into that group, but I try. Well – honestly, I only try to get to know Levi better, because… Beany, you promise man, you’ll never tell, not even if you suddenly come to have vocal cords… man, I have the biggest crush on that man ever. I know he’s too old for me, he’s like seven years older, but still. I can’t do anything against it. My heart is a shithead, I know that. Actually, that thing is batshit crazy. Bean, are you still with me? Just nod.”

But of course, Bean didn’t do anything like that. So Rura had to stand up and check herself that the Titan was still awake. He stared at her out of his greenish brown eyes, his mouth opened to expose these huge teeth. Way too many teeth, additionally. “So I guess you’re ready for the next monologue?”, Rura sadly smiled and went back to her place in Beans neck. “Now I’m going to talk about nice things. Friends and family. What do you think?”

\------

Kahina strolled through the streets, wondering what to wear at the prom. Rura wouldn’t wear something that didn’t work with her hair. So maybe the Ledoux would wear a green dress. So no green for Kahina. And Sinia? Maybe something grayish or … really just anything except violet. And since she wasn’t sure how to deal with this situation, she decided to ask someone who had to know. Someone who saw people like her every day. The salesman. Whom else to trust but those who earn their money with it?

“Hello!” She stepped into the next best store which sold dresses and waved at the cashier. It was a young guy who had blond hair and green eyes. He looked very stylish, which was to Kahinas delight. He had to know what would fit her best.

“Can I help you, Miss?”

“Yeah, I search for a dress. It’s for a formal prom and I want all those snobs to choke on their food seeing me.”

The cashier blinked a few times, then a mischievous grin worked its way into his face as he led her further into the store.

Half an hour later she left the place, highly satisfied, with a bag in her right hand. _Rura and Sinia are going to love it. This dress is the most scandalous thing ever._

She brought it home, then went for Erwins office. Still, there were things that needed to be settled. They needed to be talked about without weird sparkling or romantic night sky or stupid teasing.

Without knocking she entered his office, almost slamming the door behind her. “Commander, I’m here to tell you that I’m willing to join the Recon Corps.”

For a second the man just stared at the former Captain who stood close to his door, wearing only a black bandeau-top and ripped, tight brown pants. Who allowed her to walk around like that? Wasn’t that considered indecent behavior? “I figured”, he finally responded.

“Yeah, good. And now? Anything to do for me?” She went over to Erwins desk and studied the papers and drafts which lay there. “You’re planning a mission? That early? Isn’t that a bit hasty with the new recruits? Are you going to take them with you?”

“Right now this is none of your business. But you can do me a favor.” Erwin pulled something out of his pocket and gave it to Kahina. It were tiepins. Beautiful silver tiepins, shaped like long and almost straight wings. “Can you get these to the jewelry-shop? The owner knows that I need them until New Years Eve.”

“Ehh…of course I can do that, Commander.”

“Kahina, call me Commander one more time and I really have to think about a way to convince you to call me by my first name. You’re dismissed, for now.” Of course this was a bluff, but Erwin hoped that this stubborn woman would just talk normally to him. Somehow he had the feeling she was just teasing him all the time, until he exploded. But he would not be pushed to be that unprofessional. 

_Did he just threaten me with punishment for calling him Commander?_ , Kahina thought, raising her eyebrows while walking towards the door. Opening it and already stepping out of the office, she halfway turned around and winked cheekily. “Fine, _danchou_.” She could not help but keep on teasing him.

\------

Crawling out of the tent Rura yawned again, rubbing her tired eyes. She had slept for almost three hours straight, but awoke from the loud bubbly sound Bean had made in its … not really sleep, but inactivity.

Still dazzled she stumbled towards the door to the inside of the castle, softly shaking her head to regain her fitness again. What a weird situation! She had actually managed to nap in the nape of a Titan and she had not gotten eaten or anything like this. It had been warm and comfy and nice. Just really unlike a Titan should be.

“Ah, Rura – was Bean awake that long?!” Hanji jumped out of the shadows – causing the Ledoux to jerk backwards, her heart skipping some beats at the sudden shock. Pressing her hands against her chest, Rura took some deep breaths, then nodded.

“Yes, he was. Quite lively, our Beany.”

“That’s amazing! Come on in, let’s have dinner. I think Günther cooked something. He’s a true chef, you won’t believe it”, the older one smiled, waving Rura into the castle. “Or aren’t you hungry? It can happen after the first long encounter with Titans.”

“No, I’m fine. Just give me a minute outside”, the redhead replied, a weak smile appearing on her lips. That nap really hadn’t been necessary and it took its toll on her now. By causing her to feel really tired. She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. Just falling asleep now would be literal heaven. 

“Finished your sick experiments?”

 _Honestly?_ , Rura thought and suppressed a sigh. “Obviously.” She opened her aqua eyes and blinked as she looked straight into Levis grayish ones. “H-hey…” That was too close to be good. Even Levi should know that. What had happened to her personal space? There was almost none left, the way the Captain leaned forward to stare at Rura. 

“You’ve spent enough time wasting talking to this thing. I told you I was going to teach you dancing. After dinner. In the hall. Wear a skirt and shoes with heels, if you happen to possess something like this.” His eyes twitched a bit, then he just left the place as if nothing had happened at all. 

“Levi, just what the hell?”, Rura mumbled, taking a deep breath. _This place is not good for me, definitely. I rather don’t know what’s going on and fight like a berserk instead of going through this psychological terror I cause myself whenever I see that guy. Oh man, how I wish Sinia and Kahina were here right now. That would make everything a bit better_. She blinked one last time into the sun, then made her way inside to have dinner.

\------

Rolling around in her bed, Sinia couldn’t find any position that would fit her at all. Damn, what was wrong? Whenever she was tired she used to lay down and fall asleep within minutes. _Why won't it work today? Is it because Rura told me about how harmless that Titan is? But that cannot be the reason I can’t fall asleep. Is it because Auruo is so extremely in love with Petra and has no guts to tell her at all? Thinking about it won’t help the situation either, except I come up with a really good idea how to solve this._

A soft knock on her door ripped her out of her deep thoughts and she rolled onto her side to face the door. “Yes please, who’s there?” But she’d never get up now. It was so warm underneath that blanket. She loved her blanket.

“It’s me… Günther.” His voice was muffled through the thick wood of the door. 

“What is it, Günther?” The brunette wondered why of all people Günther was the one to knock onto her door in the middle of the night. At like nine p.m..

“Well, um, I – can I enter?”

“Feel free to enter the room”, she replied. _But don’t enter anything else._ She stopped in her thought. _What the holy buttocks? I just start thinking like Rura and Kahina! This is a bad sign!_

The door got opened and light fell into the dark room, causing that Günther just appeared as a shadow in the door frame. Silently, he closed the door behind him and stepped at Sinias bed.

”So how can I help you?”, the brunette wondered, still not moving from under her blanket.

“I wondered if you can give me an advice on one thing”, the man started and crouched down to face her – even though there wasn’t much to face since it was quite dark. “It won’t take long and I-”

”Oh shush, Günther, dear. What is it?” Sinia forced herself to sit up and pat on the bed to sign him to sit down next to her. With an almost sickening fast move he got up and placed himself at Sinias side, crossing his legs.

“It’s a bit embarrassing. But I think you won’t judge me”, he started.

“What for?” _As if I am one who judges,_ she thought. _It's just what I did for five years, but go on._

“My heart pounds faster when I see Rura.”

Okay now, slow down, man. Just what are you telling me? Do you have a crush on her or what? You can’t have a crush on Rura, because she has a crush on Levi! Why the fuck did you come to me? Why couldn’t you tell Petra? Günther, what the hell are you thinking? But Sinia didn’t say any of this out loud. She pitied him too much at that moment. That poor soul with this weird hairdo. Oh, this wasn’t going to end well. He’d be destroyed, latest after the prom. 

\------

Rura awoke at first light, blinking a few times, yawning and then jumping out of bed. She wasn’t the type to stay under the blanket for ages – if she didn’t get up fast, she’d just never do it.

Going through her daily bathroom stuff the redhead noticed some dark circles underneath her eyes. It was obvious where they came from. She just decided to ignore them, then started to get dressed while brushing her teeth. Why wasting time by doing one thing after another if one is just able to do both at the same time? After having finished that, she looked into the mirror again and thought about wearing something casual today. 

It wasn’t like she had to wear her Recon Corps uniform. Well, actually she should, but she was just meant to hang around the Titans today and they definitely didn’t care for clothes at all. So the redhead undressed again and put on her navy blue sweater, white shorts and white linen shoes. 

After twenty minutes she left her room, slowly walking down the corridor, through two doors, through another two corridors, finally reaching the door to the backyard in which the Titans were kept. 

“Good morning, guys”, she greeted the guards on watch, shortly waved at them and then went to the tent of Bean. Lifting the curtain, she caused sunlight to hit the face of the Titan. “Good morning, Beany. How are you today? My, I think you got a bit pale. Aren’t you used to long nights or what? We really have to work on your tan.”

Smiling, she patted the back of his head, then – out of instinct – bowed down and sniffed his hair. I smelled like… she couldn’t define it. It smelled damp and too sweet, almost sickening. Then she smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for wondering.”

Although she was quite sure Bean didn’t wonder about anything, the Titan just followed his instincts or somehow acted while being remotely controlled. Checking his face, she saw that his eyes slowly opened. So Titans didn’t need much sunlight to become lively again. Interesting. But she was sure there were differences between Titans again.

“Ahh, Rura, good morning! Are you ready for the oncoming tests? They’ll be psychically demanding, but I’m sure you’ll handle them!” Hanji ran over the place, ordering the other soldiers to dismantle the tents. As she reached Rura, the researcher shortly hugged her, then smiled. “I heard you had to dance with Levi yesterday and did a good job.”

“Eh, what?” Honestly, it was far too early for her to process so many questions at once. The only thing she got was that there was some arduous work to do. 

“Okay, I see”, Hanji laughed out loudly. “First things first, you’re quite right, Ledoux. Today we will check if Sawney and Bean are able to feel physical pain. My assistants are preparing our tools in the back.”

“Physical pain like… cutting them?”

“Yes. Or stinging out their eyes and that stuff. Maybe we can even manage to cut off their tongues”, the older woman told Rura and yawned without holding her hand in front of her mouth. 

“Hanji… I… ehm. I don’t know if you know what I did before joining the Recon Corps – but it definitely wasn’t _causing_ pain”, she replied slowly, running her fingers through her thick curls. Today her hair looked extraordinarily fine.

“I know you are a doctor and that’s why I need you here more than anybody else. Because you know exactly how a human body works and where the differences to a Titans body are. And you are quite witty, at least that’s what Erwin told me, because Sinia has told him.” She shrugged her shoulders. “You don’t need to do this. I know it is restraining.”

“It’s not because it’s restraining. It’s because … oh well, never mind.” Stretching herself, Rura blinked into the morning sun, then smiled at Hanji. “Shall we get started, then?”

“Sure.”

The tents had been dismantled by then and the Titans were lively again. Rura just had to think about how fast that was. Not even ten minutes and these creatures would be able to stand up and devour all of the people in this yard. 

Walking towards the tool-set prepared by some of the other soldiers, Hanji suddenly turned to face the redhead. “Levi told me you are a good dancer. You know what that means, don’t you?”

“ _What_?” _Levi did tell you about our dancing sessions? Why, man? Not okay!_

“You don’t? Well then it’s Levis’ task, and his alone.” Without any explanation Hanji turned to decide which tool to take and finally took a spear with an iron pike. She looked to the ground, almost seeming sad. “You know, Rura, it’s not wrong to feel bad or guilty for doing what we’re about to do. We try to cause them pain. We hurt their bodies. And nobody can tell if they can feel or understand what we’re doing. Just imagine you’d get hurt by someone and you’re just not able to communicate anything, not even with mimic. What if you’re not able to actually use your facial muscles? Wouldn’t that be terrible?”

“So… we don’t even know if they can feel pain? Because they can’t show us?”, Rura voiced her thoughts and stared at Hanji. That woman was way softer and more sensitive than she had ever imagined. 

“As far as we know, yes.” The researcher nodded while walking towards Sawney. “Take a spear, then you’ll just mirror what I do to Sawney on Bean, okay?”

“Y-yes… okay.” Rather reluctantly Rura grabbed for a spear, nervously looking at Bean as she approached the Titan. “Beany, this can hurt you.” She stepped behind his head, stroked his soft hair and bent over his ear. “I don’t want to do that, just so you know. I don’t want you to feel pain. But I have to. Because we humans are curious pricks. Promise to not be mad at me for stabbing in your eyes or belly.”

Levi stood on a window which allowed him to look down onto that scenery. Hanji really knew how to be annoying, she’d shocked Rura within twenty minutes almost five times. What was that four-eyes just talking all the time? Hopefully she had not mentioned his intention to ask the Ledoux to accompany him to the prom.

He liked Petra like she was a… stepsister or something like that. But he would not take her to the prom the fourth time. No, this time Rura had to be his – he _tch_ -ed at the mere thought – _date_ for that night.

He watched both women injure the Titans, Hanji being highly emotionally, while Rura seemed to try to soothe the Titan she was stabbing into the right eye right now. How could she be so calm in this situation? Any other person would’ve shat their pants, face to face with a monster. Levi dared to wonder if Rura just acted that calm and was just torn inside. But he banished this thought as fast as it had entered his mind. None of his business.


	17. Titans Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While it turns out that Sinia is the to-go-to person when it comes to emotional matters - which she high-key can't understand at all - Kahina finds herself being honest with her new friend Mike. Unfortunately their short separation does not last long due to nasty happenings.

“Oh nooo…”

Sinia shut her eyes tight as someone opened her door, allowing light to reach the face of the brunette. That was a. cruel and b. so not friendly. “Go away whoever you are.”

“But it’s ten in the morning and you probably should get up. We let you skip breakfast. Now rise and shine, my little daffodil!”, Petra called out, almost ripping open the closed curtains, after which she opened the windows. “It’s a beautiful day!”

“Ohh Petraaaaa”, Sinia moaned into her pillow, turning her back towards the young woman. “I’m sorry for being rude! Can you please leave my room and close the windows and curtains again?”

“Oh no, I won’t. I have to talk to you. You’re my girl best friend here and I need you!” Petra jumped onto the bed, shaking Sinia around until the brunette sat halfway straight, her hair a mess as well as her red eyes.

Günther had been in her room until almost three in the morning. _T-H-R-E-E. In the morning._ And now Petra wanted to talk to her. What was the deal with that? Why did everybody want to talk about things? Why couldn’t they be more chill? Why could they not be more like Rura and Kahina, care for their problems on their own? “What is it, Petra?”

“I think Levi doesn’t want me to be his date this year”, the ginger said, pouting and crossing her arms. “I don’t understand that.”

“Ehhm.. how often did you date last year, then?” _Considering that this year is almost over, Petra, you seem to notice that a bit late,_ Sinia thought, rubbing her eyes. But still she had to listen and care for that cute person. Petra didn’t deserve anything bad. Then again, Rura deserved Levi and Auruo deserved Petra. That simple. _And I deserve Reiner_ , the brunette had to suppress an amused smile.

“Once. At the prom.”

“Ah, yes. The prom. Uh… and he didn’t ask you until now?”

“No.”

“How about asking Auruo? He’s a great dancer and he definitely is a better partner to have a conversation with than Levi”, she suggested innocently, wrapping her arms around her legs. “Or Erd or Günther. Actually, everybody is easier to talk to but our Captain.”

“But I really like him!”, Petra called out.

“Then show him what he’s missing out because he didn’t ask you!” _Wow_ , Sinia noticed, _I’m a brain! A manipulative brain! Good. That’s good._ She leaned back and yawned. “Sounds like a plan, doesn’t it?”

“Well… you could be right. And maybe he gets even more envious if he sees me with Auruo. He has a thing for me, I guess. Auruo, I mean. You know?”, the ginger suddenly mentioned, staring out of the window. “He always imitates Levi when I’m around, it’s like he can smell whom I like and tries to outmaster them at their own character.”

“I haven’t heard him talk too much”, Sinia lied, pulling the blanket tighter around her as a fresh breeze ripped through the room. She shivered a bit, but recovered fast. “So I don’t really know. But I think it’s going to work out the way you thought. With being Auruos date this year.”

Suddenly Petra leaned over and hugged Sinia, pressing her against her own chest. “Thank you Sinia, you’re a true friend! I can trust you with everything and you never laugh at me!”

\------

“Ughh… how am I supposed to dance in these?” Kahina stared at the black pumps she held in her hand, sighing deeply. Why the fuck had she agreed to go to that prom in the first place again? She couldn’t remember and it didn’t matter. There was no way she’d cancel it right now. 

“Maybe just by moving your feet?”, Mike suggested, shrugging his shoulders. He sat on the windowsill of Kahinas room, watching her prepare for their dancing lesson which was scheduled for today.

“Ohhh, watch out, someone’s being helpful over here”, the young woman called out sarcastically, throwing her shoes at him. “Here, catch ‘em.”

Which Mike did. In his hands the heels did not seem so high. “Do you have a dress already?”

“Nope.”

“Liar.” He softly kicked the back of her head.

“ _Ouch_! Yeah, okay, man.” While rubbing the not so hurting spot she put on her linen shoes.

“You know I don't react to exaggerations.” Still he playfully patted her head, her hair was soft underneath his fingers. “Are you going to show the dress to me?”, the blond Major then asked.

“No. Brings bad luck.”

“Only if you’re the bride and I’m the groom.”

“Mike, don’t be ridiculous. _I'd_ be the groom”, she grinned and turned to face him. “You see, it’s supposed to be a surprise for everybody. That’s why you’re not allowed to see it. I promise you will like it, though.”

“All right, if you say so”, he just laughed and helped her out of the window. “So, do you know how to dance?”

“Just a bit. Tango, to be precise.” They headed for Mikes house since he had one room big enough to be fit for dances which required a lot of space, so there hadn’t been any discussion about where to practice.

“You can dance the _tango_?” He raised his eyebrows at that, looking at Kahina in surprise. He had not expected her to know any dances to be honest. She just didn't strike him as a woman who enjoyed the fancy things of life.

“Sure. When my sister got married three years ago I had to learn it.”

“Wait – you have a sister?” He stopped and stared at Kahina. As far as he knew… he knew nothing. Was she an orphan? Were her parents still alive? _I don’t know a lot of things, actually._

“Ya, Eligia. She’s married to Jalo Aaltonen. My, that had been the most starched party ever. Like because they live in Stohess District, there were no scandals allowed so I got kicked out after three hours. What a waste of time”, she started to tell, then suddenly stopped. “Sorry, didn’t want to bother you with that.”

“No, it’s fine. I didn’t even know you have a sister”, Mike replied, still a bit startled. _She has a sister in Stohess. How? Then why does she still live here? And where is the rest of her family?_ “Is she younger?”

“Yep. She’s two years younger than me.”

“Why doesn’t she arrange a home within Stohess for you? That would be a way safer place to live at times like these.”

“Well, I usually don't talk about that”, Kahina tried to evade, but the questioning and gentle glance Mike threw her caused her to shrug her shoulders. “It’s easy, you see? My sister and I don’t have the best relationship since she thinks safety and money and romantic love are more important than humanity itself – I can respect that but she still blames me for anything bad that happened to us and I definitely can't respect that. So there’s that. I still somehow love her, she’s my little sis after all, but also I don’t want to have contact with her.” Only now she noticed that she had gritted her teeth. Running her fingers through her hair, she looked at Mike to see if he judged her. But the man just stared, wide-eyed. “So, Sniffles, lets just switch topics. Do you now have a date for the prom?”

“For the prom? Ehhm…”

 _Ha, still his weak spot_ , she thought and put her hands to her hips. “You don’t. So, who is the lucky lady you’re afraid to ask out? She has to be enormously fine because I won’t allow anything less. Give me a name”, Kahina demanded and winked at Mike.

“We know each other for not even a week and you want me to tell you whom I really like?”

“No, I want you to tell me whom you want to fuck senseless, Sniffles”, she shot back, not breaking eye-contact, making the whole situation more uncomfortable than necessary. Exactly her humour.

To Mikes horror people who passed by them stared at them, looking rather repulsed. And Kahina noticed that, too. As two teenage girls – dressed in almost expensive dresses – started to call Mike ugly, which was not hard to overhear for the man and Kahina, the head of the 25-year old reddened within seconds.

“Mike, give me a moment.” With that she stormed off to grab the two teenagers at their shoulders. The girls – both blondes with brown eyes – watched her in terror, knowing that shit just had hit the fan. “Now, bitches, listen closely”, Kahina started and then moved closer to them, whispering. “You two will never encounter a man as noble and handsome again and you wouldn't deserve so either way. You couldn’t even handle his beautifully enormous cock. So if I ever hear you call him ugly again, I’m gonna rip out your eyes 'cause ya really ain't using them anyway.” With that she pushed the girls away and watched them run down the street, almost choking on their own snot and tears. 

“What did you tell them?” Mike appeared behind Kahina, giving her a questioning look. He really was fascinated that at one moment she could be the best friend and in the next cause people to shit themselves. And he thought that Rura and Sinia sure were able to do the same. It just had to be like that. How else could they have stayed friends over the years if not like that?

“Why?” She turned and walked ahead of him, lifting her right hand to make the most bitchy gesture. “I told them about your precious monster-dick.” Kahina could hear Mike snort with amusement.

“All right, you got me. I want to date Nanaba.”

Furrowing her brows, Kahina stopped. “Who the fuck is Nanaba?”

”A... comrade.” Mike scratched the back of his head, not looking at Kahina.

”Okay.” She stared at him, hands in her hips. As the Major did not expand on that topic, she huffed. “Oh boy, I really gotta worm that outta you? Mike, don't act shy. Gimme more information.”

”It really is a private matter.”

”Alright, alright, mystery-monger. Lets get going, Erwin will never forgive us if I'm not able to dance at the prom.”

\------

The next morning started quite early for Kahina as someone almost smashed her front door while knocking on it. First she had thought it was Sinia to get her to the underground city again, but then she remembered that the Schütz and Rura were at the old Recon Corps headquarter – so it had to be someone else.

That someone turned out to be Erwin Smith himself, knocking at her door right at sunrise. As she opened it, he already held out a cape for her, almost pushing it into her face. “We’re leaving right now.”

“Where to?” Rubbing her right eye, she took the cape and put it around her neck. It looked messy on her, because she looked messy. 

“The headquarter. An emergency occurred and we have to be there by eight thirty.” Then he allowed himself to have a proper look at the Krylow. On top of her head her hair was arranged in a messed up bun, her shirt was ripped and – of course – no trousers. Her long legs looked silky and tanned.

“An emergency?!” Suddenly all sleepiness vanished and Kahina rushed into her room, putting on her badeau-top and white trousers, as well as her brown over-knee-boots. At last she grabbed her small backpack and threw the cape onto her shoulders again. “What kind of- did someone die?”, she asked as she returned to Erwin. _Please, if someone died – don’t let it be Sinia or Rura! I cannot handle that! Everybody can die, but not my best friends! I am not prepared for shattered feelings!_

“Yes, there have been murders”, Erwin just said, waiting for more reactions. Her face turned pale by the second he pronounced _murders_ and he felt pity for how he kept her in suspense. But to see her display emotions that raw and unfiltered was kind of a first to him. At least when it came to sorrow.

“ _Erwin_! How are Rura and Sinia? Please, tell me they’re fine!” With one quick jump she clung onto the Commander, grabbing his lapels, pulling his face close to hers.

“Kahina, I-”, he began, but stopped as he saw the panic in her eyes. She really cared for those two. The Krylow had real feelings. That somehow got him off guard – just like the fact that she had said his name with such despair – and Erwin felt the urge to hug her right now. Because he felt sorry for Kahina and for everything he was going to do to her. “They’re safe and sound.”

“Fuck me, I was worried.” With a relieved sigh, Kahina leaned her forehead against Erwins chest – just long enough until she realized what she was doing and that she had a neighbor who was always watching. Her head snapped back up as she let go of the Commander and cleared her throat. “Uhmm… so, what kind of emergency are we talking about?”

“The captured Titans have been killed.”

\------

_“ BEAN! _BEAN_! Nooooo! Beany-boy!! _Noooooo_!!”_

Rura fell onto her bare knees, tearing her hair, staring at the damping corpse of the dead Titan. Someone had killed it not even one hour ago. And she hadn’t been around in his last moments – and Bean was dead! Her favorite Titan! She’d liked him somehow – he hadn’t tried to bite her head off! That had been great! He’d listened to her shittalk!

She hit her head onto the ground, tears streaming out of her eyes. Not only that she had liked that Titan, but it had been her fist test subject and now it was gone forever. Deep grief and sadness filled her heart as she thought about the feeling of betrayal Bean must’ve had as someone just cut out his neck. 

Just at that moment Hanji came running out, realized what had happened and screamed at top of her lungs. Sparrows, which had been sitting on the branches of the nearest trees, scattered away, chirping loudly. “ _Nooo! Sawney! Bean!! Noo!!_ ” With a loud thumping noise Hanji threw herself on the ground, right at Ruras side, and started cradling the younger one. “Rura! Why?? Tell me it's not true! It’s not fair we have to face this!!”

“Oh no, Rura!”, Sinia stormed onto the yard, watching her friend sobbing painfully. She’d never seen the Ledoux being in tears like his ever. Out of instinct she wanted to run towards Hanji and Rura, but Günther stopped her by grabbing her shoulder. Silently he shook his head. “But why? Why shan’t I comfort them?”

“They cry about Titans, none of us can understand their pain or even try to ease it”, he explained and nodded towards Levi. “Not even he tries to help Hanji out at times like this. And they _seem_ to be almost friends.”

“But I’m Ruras best friend”, Sinia responded, willing to pout if it helped her getting closer to the redhead. 

“And still we can’t help them. Let them grieve for a while. It’s important to handle the first pain alone. Almost alone. They need to explore the deepness of the misery – only then they can receive help and compassion”, Günther explained and gave Sinia a sad smile.

“You know a lot about that”, she finally said, giving up on her idea to cuddle Rura until she smiled again. “Does this happen often?”

“No, this is a first”, the brown haired man said.

“This is terrible.”

\-------

Reaching the headquarters at exactly eight twenty-five, Kahina jumped off her black horse and ran towards the place most people were standing. At least she wanted to run there, but Erwin was faster. He just blocked her way with his horse, swiftly dismounted it and stared at her. 

“We’ll do this together.”

“I’m not even a Major or Captain. I’m just a brat – and as such I can do whatever the fuck I want. And right now I want to see Sinia and Rura”, the young woman shot back, trying to pass by Erwin, but he wouldn’t let her.

Instead, he thought about his promise, and forced himself to stay calm. “We have to appear calm and steady. I am the Commander and I do not take hot blooded fools with me.”

“All right, all right – I got that. Now, let’s go!”

“The Commader has approached.”

“Even the Commander has come today?”

“Then this must be of very high importance!”

The murmurs became louder as Erwin made his way through the soldiers, right behind him was Kahina, looking for Sinia and Rura. She hadn’t found them yet which meant that they had to be further at the front lines of the happening.

Before they moved on, Erwin stopped and looked at Kahina. “Now you can search for your friends. But do so unobtrusively.”

“Thank you so much, Commander”, she said, not hiding the sarcasm dripping off her voice, then Kahina left the blond man standing there alone at once. There were definitely more important things to do but to hang around with him. Until she realized he went to talk to Eren. Eren. That Titan-boy. What did Erwin want from him? 

_Okay, this is almost interesting. I need to have news for Sinia and Rura. I better listen there_ , she decided and went to spy on the two guys. There sure was no harm with doing so. 

“Hey Kahina!!”

The soft call disturbed the Krylow in her mission to eavesdrop Eren and Erwin – but the voice demanded her whole attention. She would not have it any other way.

“Sinia! I haven’t seen you! Where have you been?” Kahina hugged her friend tightly, then pointed at Erwin and Eren. “We need to listen to that. It loo-” But right then Erwin just turned around again and walked over to Levi, who was waiting for the Commander. “Well – had been. Where’s Rura?” 

“Don’t go near her”, Sinia whispered. “She had her own Titan for almost two days. I guess its name was Bean. Bean and the other Titan got murdered last night. Which is terrible. Rura suffers a lot.”

“I know the Titans got murdered. And this fucks me up. Who’d want to crimp our experiments that much to even take the risk and come here to kill two Titans – always with the risk someone would see one committing the crime. Rura really has to deal with a lot of shit lately”, Kahina sighed and looked at Sinia. “Are you okay?”

“Uh – yeah.” The brunette nodded, then glanced at Kahina. “We haven’t been _there_ for a long time, you know. Maybe when this is settled we should visit them again?”

“Yeah, I kinda miss the music.” She yawned inelegantly, then stretched her neck to see Rura. To see Rura kneeling in front of the now damping skeleton of what had been Bean a while ago. “Sinia, honestly? Do you really think we can let her suffer that much on her own? Because I don’t think so.”

With these words Kahina grabbed Sinias wrist, pulled her through the crowd towards Rura, shoving aside people, not caring that she was wearing the Recon Corps cape so everybody knew that this branch now even hired assholes. 

“Kahina, please, Günther told me not to-”

“And therefore we see Günther is clueless and doesn’t know Rura at all.”

“But Günther is not stupid.”

Slowly Kahina turned her head to directly face Sinia. “I think he just hid it very well until now.”

Rura didn’t hear anything but Hanjis and her own sobs – which were the most accurate way to be angry and disappointed and sad right now. She hadn’t looked any further up than as far as she could see Beans corpse, and every time she did so, her anger got hotter.

Then suddenly someone put a hand onto her right shoulder, a shadow fell over Rura. Looking up, she at first saw everything through a blur, all the tears caused her vision to become indistinct. After blinking a few times, she could see Sinias and Kahinas faces, blocking the sunlight.

“Rura, you poor pumpkin cupcake”, Kahina suddenly mumbled and crouched down while hugging her friend. “Do you feel the anger already?”

“We’re going to stir it up”, Sinia promised, falling to her knees, laying her arms around her best friends. “We’re going to make justice happen!”

“This murderer has offended the wrong Ledoux”, Kahina went on.

“Are you ready to find the culprit? Even if it takes high risks?”, the brunette asked while stroking Ruras back.

And the redhead just stared at her two best friends, of whom she’d thought they would not understand her pain and grief and frustration. They hadn’t worked with Bean. They had most likely never seen him – at least Kahina. But Sinia, also, had done other things but watch Rura work with the Titan. Yet both cared for her. Both promised revenge on the murderer.

A wave of warmth and gratefulness flooded through Rura and hot tears emerged her aqua eyes, streaming down her reddened cheeks. There she felt something wet and warm tickling down her ear and realized that Sinia cried, too. She cried because Rura got hurt. And Kahina tried to cradle both in her own clumsy way, while not fully understanding their feelings.

“Oh my God, I have the best friends in this whole world!!”


	18. Dark Spot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes things are not bad enough - to worsen Ruras situation, Sinia and Kahina decide to let her in onto something dark and disturbing.

**_The thing worse than rebellion is the thing that causes rebellion. (Frederick Douglass)_ **

“I still don’t get what the hell we’re supposed to do while the recruitment takes place. It’s not like we should stand there and look pretty”, Kahina grumbled and bit into the red apple she had found in the kitchen of the headquarter. Of course she wasn’t allowed to take it – but really, who would dare to tell Erwin about it? Everybody had seen her accompany him, so they probably thought she was special like Hanji or Levi.

“Maybe we should make the new recruits think it’s half as hard to be in the Recon Corps as everybody thinks it is?”, Sinia suggested, stroking the mane of her horse. 

“I don’t think so. No, I guess Erwin has other motives than that”, Rura said, her eyes set onto the Commander and Levi, who rode side by side at the front of the group. They were heading for Lenma, a city located behind Trost, where the event should take place this evening. Eren and Hanji, Auruo and some others had stayed at the headquarter to plant two trees in honor of Sawney and Bean.

“Yeah, I wonder what motives he has”, Kahina mumbled, staring at the blond head far in front of her. What was he planning all the time? Why did he try to make her hang around his office that often? After the jewelry-shop she had to sort his books in the shelves alphabetically. And he had a shitload of books. Luckily they hardly had talked within those four hours.

“Kahina? Is there something you want to tell us?”, Rura asked, looking at her friend.

“Yes! I mean – you finally joined to Recon Corps!”, Sinia called out, smiling widely.

“Huh? Oh… ehm, I don’t think it’s the right time to talk about it. We should rather worry ab-”

“Alright, now wait – there’s something you don’t want to talk about with _us_?”, the redhead tuned in, leading her horse closer to Kahinas. It was obvious that the Krylow had secrets from Rura and Sinia. And the Ledoux did not take that well, not at all. 

“I’m going to tell you everything. But we have stuff to think about that is more important right now”, she halfway tried to explain, halfway she wanted to evade Ruras questions. The medic was almost as skilled as Mike when it came to sniffing out people and their lies. 

“You don’t talk about the new recruits or the killed Titans, do you?”, Sinia suddenly said, her voice merely more than a whisper. 

“Yeah, and we’re going to get Rura on our team now. I thought about it a few days ago...”

_What team? Now? Haven’t I been their friend for years now? What the bloody hell did I miss?!_

\-------

It was midday when they reached Lenma, dismounting their horses the three young women didn’t talk or even exchange looks. Nobody was to know what they were up to.

Especially Sinia was very nervous – for she was about to show a second person the hidden entrance to the forbidden city. It had been exciting to show it to Kahina, because the Krylow had nothing to lose anymore and was ruthless and would give it her all to make things work out – even if it made her a criminal.

But Rura was on a whole different level, with her family, her brothers and sister and nieces and all. And, of course, not only her reputation but her life would be at stake if she decided to help Sinia and Kahina. The brunette thought about all those things, wondering what kind of trouble they’d gotten themselves into. And if it was possible to exclude Rura just now. But the redhead would not let that happen. Because Rura was curious now, she’d smelled the blood. 

“Ah, Kahina, there you are!!”

“Sniffles!” Suddenly Kahina got swirled around in a dance-like movement and was held up by – Mike Zacharias. Both laughed while the Krylow softly head-butted the older man as a way of funny greeting.

Rura and Sinia looked at the two for a second. Two seconds. Three.

Then Kahina grinned, gave the man a playful peck on the cheek and turned around to her friends while Mike softly let her down again. Sinia just stared and had to suppress a gulp. So maybe that was Kahinas secret? Did she have a thing going on with the Major?

“Sorry I didn’t show up this morning, but Erwin asked me to accompany him to the headquarter. And I haven’t seen Rura and Sinia in a few days – so there was no way I could’ve said _no_ ”, the Krylow explained smiling, heading over to her best friends.

“I figured it’d be something like that. Will you attend the recruitment?”, he asked, his deep voice pleasing the strained senses of the girls. Then he spotted Rura and Sinia. Nodding at them, he greeted them.

“Yep, we’ll meet there.” She waved at Mike, who smiled and then went to talk to Erwin and Levi. “See you later.”

“Don’t tell me you are going out with Mike”, Rura suddenly said, her voice low and dangerously calm. “Don’t tell me you’re going to hurt him like that.”

“Huh? Going out wi-“ She stared at Rura for a moment, then at Sinia. Both looked at her in expectation to say something. Then she gazed over to Mike, Levi and Erwin. And laughed. “You seriously think I’m going out with _Sniffles_? He’s a friend, nothing more. Promise! Oh dear, you really got me off guard with that. I never _thought_ about dating him!”

“Somehow it’s a pity”, Sinia stated after a few seconds of silence. Which earned her warning looks from Rura and Kahina, but the Schütz didn’t care. “Think about it. Mike is old enough to deal with your recklessness. He's good looking and strong. And he has experience, I bet. And stamina. Just _imagine_ the things he could do with-”

“Oh, fuck you Sinia”, Kahina blurted out, holding her hands over her ears. “Keep your dirty mind to yourself!”

“Don’t try to hook her up with somebody! No person deserves such cruel punishment!”, Rura almost yelled, throwing up her hands.

“Rura is absolutely right!”

”Shut up, both of you”, Sinia groaned in annoyance.

\-------

“Why do I have to carry medical equipment with me? And these ragged clothes? Are you serious?”, Rura asked while walking in between Sinia and Kahina. Both wore stern expressions on their faces, wearing old trousers and partly ripped shirts. They had their hair done into untidy ponytails and had ordered Rura to do the same, which she had done. This all was very mysterious and suspicious. It was like they tried to not get seen by people at all.

“You will see, Rura. Just keep quiet now”, Kahina said, put on a worn-out cap and forced all her hair underneath it. 

“Can’t you just tell me where we’re going? Damn, Sinia, at least you should answer me. You even asked Erwin to dismiss us for the recruitment. Which will take place the day after tomorrow! What for will we need three days?”, Rura called out, quite annoyed. Why wouldn’t her stubborn friends tell her what was going on? They even had to ride to Hermina district for what they were up to. That ride alone had lasted for four hours.

“Rura, please, be quiet. People here are always a bit more cautions than in the other districts. It’s because we’re close to Wall Sina”, Sinia just replied, not looking at Rura. She felt guilty for not telling her friend about what she was to witness, but it was important she went there totally unprepared. It was the best cure for everything.

Glancing over to Kahina, Sinia thought about the first time both had went down there. The first thing the Krylow had done was raiding an overpriced merchant and spreading his goods among the poorest people. They’d cheered her like a saint. Sinia was sure Rura would do the same as Kahina. 

“I don’t understand why you…”, the redhead started, but stopped as she realized that they were leaving the city more and more behind. “Where are we going? Why are here so many guys from the Military Police?”

“Just shut up now”, Kahina sighed. “I’ll tell you as soon as we're in.”

“Okay…” She decided to drop the topic just now. There was nothing her friends would tell her in that state right now.

Throwing Rura a questioning glance, Sinia wondered why her friend had no idea this place existed. After all, the Ledoux had been part of of the Military Police for a long time – long enough to know some dirty secrets one should think. But apparently she was completely clueless this time.

After fifteen more minutes of walking through rather squalid streets, they came to a small gully, which seemed like nobody had cared for it in many years. It was rusty, halfway overgrown with weeds and looked like it would break easily.

Sinia nodded at Kahina, who then silently went away, around a corner. Rura furrowed her brows. What kind of illegal shit were they up to? The Wall wasn’t far away now, the density of Military Police was way higher than before and she felt the urge to run away. But right then Sinia crouched down and lifted off the lid of the gully. Other than expected there was no stink emerging, but rather stale and smoky air. _What the hell is down there?,_ Rura thought, staring at Sinia wide eyed.

“Clear to go”, they could hear Kahinas voice from beyond the corner.

With a single nod Sinia jumped into the gully. Leaving a stunned Rura behind. _What? Did she just jump in there? It looks so deep!_

“Hurry, Rura! Just follow me!”, Sinia called from somewhere in the darkness.

“How deep is it?”

“You’ll fall on hay.”

Rura held her bag with medical equipment close to her chest, then she slid down the gully, her eyes closed. _What am I getting into here?_ , she wondered while falling for not so long. And after a sudden impact – unexpectedly soft – she sat in a room, which wasn’t lit at all, in a mass of hay. It smelled moldy. Shaking her head, she got up and looked around. 

“Why is it so dark here?”, she dared to ask.

“It’s because nobody is allowed to see this entrance. If there was light, those living on the surface would see it. And that’s to be avoided at all costs”, the brunette answered, laying her fingers on her lips – all of a sudden she made a sound which reminded Rura of a buzzard. A few seconds later they could see Kahinas backside against the sunlight, then there was darkness all over the place again.

“What took you so long?”, the redhead asked.

“Someone has to close the entrance. We don't want no followers after all”, Kahina grinned and held up a rather big bag. “Look what I got.”

“Great! How much is it?” Sinia smiled at the tallest, it was the most genuine and bright smile Rura had seen her friend display in a long while.

“Should cover for sixty who need it.”

“Brilliant! I’ve got the amount for fifty – otherwise my father would’ve noticed I hid something. He never gets that I don’t buy new clothes. Men, they are so easy to be deluded.”

Walking down a small and dark path, Rura asked herself how much these two had hid from her. And for how long. Because from where they were walking, Sinia holding a lamp since being in front, she could see a huge city underneath them. There was a city _under_ the town within the Walls. There was a city – half a kingdom – underneath everybody's feet, underneath Hermina, and for fucks sake: Who knew how huge this cave was and how many more cities like this existed? 

And why had they never mentioned it? Why on earth had neither Sinia nor Kahina told her about this forsaken and sad place?

The city-lights ranged from a pale blue to a warm yellow, but there was no daylight reaching down here. And suddenly Rura knew why she had her equipment with her. She was the doctor Sinia and Kahina needed for those poor souls. There for sure was no person down here who was able to perform any surgeries or other medical treatment.

She turned around to see Kahina, who was walking behind her – and hastily stared at her bag again. The Ledoux hadn’t seen the face of her friend like this for quite a while. Trembling and full of compassion she was staring towards the city. Rura tried to concentrate on the way, to not care too much for her friends gloominess. Yet she felt her hands sweat, the only noise was her strained breath – and the crunchy sound their shoes made on the uneven and stony ground. Pebbles rolled down the path, partly fell into the darkness underneath them.

“You had questions”, Sinia suddenly said, raising the lamp a bit higher. Flickering light reflected in her dark eyes. “And this is the answer. This underground city nobody shall know about. Here live the ones who, according to the rich and the king, are not worthy living. They’re treated like scum, terrorized by the Central Military Police, bled dry by the merchants and they can’t do nothing against it.”

“But how-”

“Sinia found this place some time ago and showed it to me. Since then we care for those who need medical treatment by sending them to hospitals and paying the bills. We try to bring them food or force the merchants to lower the prices”, Kahina explained, sounding like she had to restrain a lot of anger.

“And our clothes?”, the redhead asked, but knew the answer the second she closed her mouth. “We’re disguised as them. But why? Don’t they know we come from the surface?”

“Oh, they know for sure. It's that the Police does not recognize us”, Kahina suddenly snorted in the most frightening way, it was almost a psychotic laugh. “But they would never ever hurt us. We’re saints to them. _Angel_ they call Sinia.”

“Yeah, they do…”, the brunette nodded. “You will see why they are so grateful for a bit compassion.”

 _This place is fucked up_ , Rura decided before they even entered the city in front of them. A rare and nauseating stench crept up her nose – a mixture of damnation, rotting flesh, feces and other miasmas seemed to encumber the air down here. For the doctor it became hard to breath and she wondered if she was ever able to get used to this stink. While her mind tried to define what exactly the stench was made of, she suddenly came to another, different, conclusion. _Wait – no. This government and these royals are fucked up to cage people underneath the surface._

\-------

Blood covered the ground, it ran and ran down the table and dripped into the red puddle in which Rura and Kahina were standing. Its metallic scent filled the room, together with the stench of old sweat and high-proof alcohol.

The only table in the room was occupied by their patient, a young man who had gotten into a fight two weeks ago, which had ended with a stab-wound to his left shank. It had not healed properly, an infection had gotten the best of his lower leg. Now he stared at the mouldy ceiling, his jaw clenched, his body covered in cold sweat; he was all pale and strained, tears oozed out of his eyes non-stop.

”I need the hemostatic cotton”, Rura calmly said, her hands pressed onto the cutting edge underneath the knee. She had cut off the infected leg – a short look onto it half an hour ago had been enough to decide for an amputation. First of all, she did not have enough antibiotics with her, and second, the tissue had been hugely affected already. So why would she go and jeopardize the rest of the leg?

”Here you go.” While handing over the cotton, Kahina took the bone-saw in return and put into the big pot filled with boiling water, which stood behind the head-end of the table. Like that she could assist her friend while Rura had enough space to work her wonders.

”Prepare my suture-set. And the iron.”

A heavy pant from their patient caused them to look at him. His eyes were wide in horror, they seemed to almost fall out, his mouth was open with no sound emerging. Then a soft scream worked its way through his sore throat, followed by a desperate cry. “My leg!!”

”Oh, yes.” Kahina nodded, went around Rura, grabbed the amputated leg and threw it into the basket underneath the table. Good company awaited it there already – a few toes, a finger and a few bone splinters. The Krylow decided that she had to empty it after this patient, slowly the smell became unbearable – though they barely had any time in between the surgeries. In front of the house a queue had formed; according to Sinia there were more than thirty people waiting already. And there were more to come once word spread that a doctor was in town.

Different from Kahina, Sinia did not assist Rura directly, much rather she talked to the people outside, gathered information about their sicknesses and pain. She sorted them from most to least urgent – thusly Rura was forced to face the worst things first. From time to time Sinia would drop in though, give a short report and take care that her friends did drink enough. To her dismay she was the one who had to change the water, too. Since they did not have the time or means to change it after each patient, Rura had ordered for it to be renewed every third patient. Which left Sinia with a stinking, bloody swill, which was infested with small pieces of body tissues and whatnot.

Rura let out a deep breath as she took the hot iron from Kahina. Nobody had told her she would open some sort of part-time hospital here – had she known about this afore, she would have taken a lot more stuff with her than just her lousy bag. Now she was forced to work with substitutes which were by far not meant to be used as medical devices.

”This may will hurt now”, the redhead announced so the man knew what was coming. Then Rura nodded towards Kahina. The Krylow came over and put her hands onto the knee and upper leg. “Ready?”

”Yes.” Kahina said and watched as Rura cauterized the wound. The man underneath her hands screamed like an injured animal, thought it did not sound as terrifying and bone-chilling than the screams he had let out while Rura had sewn off his leg; from outside the house they could hear shocked gasps and calls for Sinia to explain what was going on. The remaining part of the leg twitched, but Kahina held it down with all her strength, allowing Rura to do proper work. “The suture-set is at your right side”, the Krylow informed her friend through gritted teeth. This man sure had strong muscles.

After his family had helped the young man out of the room, Rura and Kahina allowed themselves to sit down for a few minutes. Their arms were covered in blood, fresh and drying alike, their clothes were stained, too. Although Rura had brought gloves with her, she had not expected to perform amputations – how so, if her friends did not tell her anything about their plans. Therefore she did not have any gown with her.

”I need a break. My arms hurt”, the Ledoux announced while sighing deeply. She felt sick, she was tired, her head hurt due to the bad air and also she was still shocked that a place like this existed. “It's all well and right that Sinia lets us treat those who suffer most first, but I cannot do another amputation right now. Not like that.”

”Okay, I'll let Sinia know.” Grunting, Kahina pushed herself off the ground again. After some extensive stretching she grabbed the basked from under the table and went to the door with it.

Being alone in this blood-stained room, only accompanied by the malodour which crept out of the pot, together with the steam it poisoned the air. Rura let her head sink onto her chest and closed her eyes. Not that she did not like performing surgeries – but this was terrible. The screams. The cries. The _conditions_ , which were worse than poor. If one could describe this blood-soaked, creaky desk and the old pot as conditions. It was hard enough to work like that; but additionally she did not have a proper assistant. Kahina was all eager to help, but she lacked medical knowledge. Luckily the Krylows stomach seemed to deal with all the blood and gore well enough. At least Rura found herself thankful for that.

And what for did she endure that? For people being thankful? For the knowledge that their wounds may not heal properly despite her thoroughness? Rura wondered how her friends could think that this was a good idea.

The door opened again and with a gust of dusty yet cleaner air the voices of waiting people got carried inside.

”Rura, the next patient will be an old-... Rura? Are you okay?” Sinia crouched down at the side of her friend and furrowed her brows in worry. The Ledoux seemed pale and worn out. Despite the fact that she was covered in blood, she looked terrible. She glanced over to the table and had to suppress a retch. This place gave her the impression of a butchery rather than anything else. Thickening blood slowly dripped from the edge of the table into a dark shimmering puddle under the table, the wooden floor seemed to be soaked already.

”I am. I just wait for Kahina to come back.” The redhead did not bother to look up at Sinia.

”Fine.” Slowly Sinia got up again. “I'll clean the table in the meantime.” The Schütz wrinkled her nose at the thought alone – but under no circumstances she would leave her friend, who seemed rather distressed, alone with that.


End file.
